You and I
by LisaLovesCurry
Summary: A series of stories focusing on Magnus and Alec both their romance and their individual experiences during "The Mortal Instruments" series , this fic is rated M for eventual lemons. :
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone! I've recently become obsessed with "The Mortal Instruments" series, thanks entirely to Magnus and Alec. I've enjoyed a lot of Malec fanfic recently, and now that I'm finished reading "City of Fallen Angels" (and starting to read "Clockwork Angel"), I thought I'd try my hand at telling my own version of our favorite couple's story. (This first chapter takes place during "City of Bones," by the way). And though this fic is rated M, I'm sorry to say that I don't plan to get to lemons for several chapters yet—chapter 21, to be exact, is where I'm planning to have the first lemon, so if you're looking for a lemon right now, sorry, check back later. (I'll try to make it worth the wait :)). Please note that what happens here might not be 100% accurate; I'm sort of a fiend about accuracy with my other stories, but for this one, I thought I'd just have fun and write about how I imagine Magnus and Alec got together…

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare, not I, is the author of "The Mortal Instruments." (Also, if you want to read her version of Alec and Magnus' first kiss, go to her website and find the story entitled "Kissed"—it's really awesome. :))

_Chapter__ One: _Alec

Isabelle disappeared into her room as soon as they got back to the Institute, complaining that she had a headache, which Alec chose not to comment on. He had bigger things to worry about now. Jace was still out with Clary, doing who knew what thanks to Clary's stupid mundane friend the rat, and while he and Isabelle had been riding back on the subway, Alec had discovered something. In his pocket was a slip of paper, and there was a phone number written on it in brilliant blue ink.

At first, Alec told himself that this must be Isabelle's idea of a joke. She must have slipped the number into his pocket somehow when he wasn't looking. One glance at Isabelle made this scenario seem unlikely though; she was so tipsy that she could barely keep her eyes open, though she'd stayed awake long enough to ask him yet again if he thought Magnus was cute. (Alec had vigorously denied the idea out loud, but in his head, he kept thinking, _yes,__ yes, __yes, __he__ is __cute, __too__ cute __to __be __interested__ in __me_). Isabelle had actually nodded off by the time they got to their stop. Before he woke her up, Alec had returned the number to his jacket pocket, and ever since, he'd been thinking furiously about where it could have come from.

Jace certainly had the dexterity necessary to pull off a trick like this, but it wasn't really in keeping with his sense of humor. Alec refused to believe that Clary could have done it—she could barely take two steps without tripping over her own feet, and besides, she'd never gotten close enough to him to slip anything into his pocket. Which left…Magnus.

Alec swallowed hard as he shut his bedroom door behind him. He didn't bother to turn on the light; thanks to his night vision, the piece of paper in his hand practically seemed to glow in the dark. Absently, he tossed his phone onto the desk, where it landed with a clatter. Magnus Bane had asked him to call him…and now a mysterious phone number had appeared in his pocket. Alec had wanted very much to believe that this was either the product of a joke or an amazing coincidence, but a nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach told him that it wasn't. Alec felt distinctly edgy as he went to his desk to pick up his phone, but when he was halfway across the room, he stopped, startled.

_Why __am __I__ going __to __get __my __phone? _He wondered. _I__'__m__ not__…__am__ I__ actually __going __to __call __him?_

Alec shook his head and sat down on his bed. Maybe it was a spell—yes, that had to be it. Bane must have cast a spell on him to…what? Make him feel flattered that the warlock had shown an interest in him? Magnus seemed odd, even for a Downworlder, but he didn't seem completely crazy. So…

_Maybe__ it _is _a __joke_, Alec told himself. _I__ have __no __idea __when __he __would __have __had __the __time, __or __where __he __was __hiding__ a __pen, __but __maybe __Jace __did __this, __and __if __I __call __this __number, __I__'__ll __probably__ just__ get __a __pizza __place __or __something__…_

Alec sighed and went to his desk, but he stared at the number in his hand for several seconds before he opened his phone and dialed. _This__ doesn__'__t __look__ anything __like __Jace__'__s __handwriting_, Alec thought with a frown, and then he shivered involuntarily as he listened to the phone ringing. Several seconds passed, and Alec, feeling slightly frantic, was just about to hang up, when the ringing abruptly stopped.

"Hello?" a voice purred, and Alec jumped a foot in the air.

"Oh," he said nervously, scrambling to think of something to say. "…hi."

"_You__'__re_ the one with blue eyes," Magnus said, sounding pleased. "I was hoping you'd call."

"Yeah, about that," Alec said, trying to sound indignant instead of just nervous. "How did you…I mean, I found your number in my pocket, but when did you…"

Magnus chuckled darkly, and Alec quickly crossed the room and sat down on the bed—_why_ was his heart pounding like he'd just run across town?

"I did it just before you left," Magnus said. "As soon as I told you to call me, I realized that that might be a bit tricky, since I'm not exactly in the mundane phone book. So, I snapped my fingers, and now here we are."

"Oh," Alec said slowly. He laid down on his bed—maybe if he did that, he could pretend that this conversation wasn't really happening, that it was just a dream or something. "So it was…magic?"

"Mm-hmm," Magnus agreed. "My talents have many practical applications."

"Yeah, but…you really wanted me to call you so much that you…_magically_ slipped your phone number into my pocket?" Alec couldn't help but sound skeptical. "Why would you bother?"

"Because I wanted to talk to you," Magnus said, his smooth voice sounding amused. "And we really need to do something about that self-deprecating attitude of yours. I'm surprised more gentlemen don't give you their numbers."

Alec felt himself blush. "I…" Alec exhaled nervously. "Is it...obvious?"

"What?" Magnus said. "That you're gorgeous and intriguing, or that you aren't interested in the company of women?"

Alec sighed. "The second one. Could you tell?"

"Yes, but I wouldn't say it's obvious," Magnus said, his voice oddly sympathetic now. "I'm old, and I have a lot of practice taking the measure of people. When I saw you tonight, I saw an impressive young Shadowhunter with something to hide…a secret that you don't even want your friend to know."

Alec sat up, struggling to breathe. "You mean Jace?"

"Yes, that one," Magnus said easily—either he didn't notice Alec's horror, or he was trying to ease it by changing the subject. "He and Clary came back here a little while ago, looking for the rat."

Alec groaned. "Perfect. The rat disappeared, and now Jace is going to spend all night hunting for it because that stupid mundane had to drag her stupid friend to your party."

Magnus chuckled. "Did you have a good time tonight?"

Alec thought for a moment about what to say before he decided to tell the truth. "Not really. Sorry. I'm just not much for parties, I guess."

"That's all right," Magnus said cheerfully. "I can't say as I enjoyed myself much either tonight. For one thing, I didn't get a chance to talk to you alone."

Alec flushed again, but somehow, he found the nerve to say what he was thinking. "Well, you do now. What specifically did you want to talk about?"

"I was wondering if you might like to come over sometime," Magnus said. "Say…tomorrow night?"

Alec stared at the bare wall in front of him. "I…really?"

"Yes, really," Magnus said with a sigh. "Honestly, Alec, hasn't anyone ever asked you out on a date before?

Alec was startled—several seconds passed before he managed to stammer out something coherent. "N-no," he said finally. "And, how did you know to call me Alec?"

"That's what Jace called you at the party," Magnus said, "when you were kind enough to tell me that you were the ones who'd poured holy water into the vampires' bikes." Magnus was silent for a moment. "Hmm. So you've never been on a date before? Well, in that case, why don't you just come over to my place tomorrow night sometime, and we can 'hang out,' as I believe the current parlance of young people goes."

Alec hesitated. "Um…I'm not sure if I'll be…free…"

"Well, if you are, come over," Magnus said simply, "and if you're not, I'll try not to die of heartbreak. As it is, I'm afraid I'll barely be able to survive a whole day without you and your lovely blue eyes, but if I have to, I'm sure I can wait until your current predicament with mundanes is over before you and I have our first date."

Alec smiled in spite of himself. "Are you actually this melodramatic, or are you just teasing me?"

"A little from column A, and a little from column B," Magnus said, his voice practically a purr again. "Now hopefully, I've sufficiently charmed you and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah," Alec muttered, wondering under what pretext he could sneak out the following night. "Hopefully."

Magnus chuckled. "Good night, Alec." Then he hung up.

Alec closed his phone and stared up at the ceiling, trying to decide what he was going to do tomorrow. He felt—happy—anxious—excited—terrified? He wasn't sure. Alec had spent years trying not to notice how other guys looked—specifically, whether they were attractive or not—but when he remembered the way Magnus had looked that night at the party, he couldn't help but smile a little. He was handsome, but more than that, he'd sounded genuinely excited at the thought of their date. It seemed impossible that anyone like Magnus could really be interested in him, but if he was…well, maybe the thought of that possibility would give Alec the nerve he needed to go out the following night.

_I__ have __a__ date __with __Magnus __Bane __tomorrow_, Alec thought, testing out the idea in his head, and instantly, he was grinning in the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi everyone! This week's chapter takes place the day after Chapter One, and it's from Magnus' POV this time. (I'm going to alternate between the two :)). Thanks for all your encouraging reviews—I'm so glad people are enjoying this story so far, because it's really a lot of fun to write—and I'll see you again next week!

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series; I'm just having fun borrowing some of her characters. :)

_Chapter__ Two: _Magnus

After spending most of the day taking care of various business matters, and then dealing with a couple of vampire clients just after sunset, Magnus glanced around his apartment; it was, as he'd hoped, relatively tidy. Then he tried not to grin as he changed out of the plum-colored suit he'd been wearing all day and into a t-shirt ($25, damn you, Urban Outfitters!) and very skinny jeans. The previous night's party had had its moments, but Magnus was much more excited about tonight, when he'd (hopefully) only be having one guest over: Alec Lightwood.

"Now, I'll be the first to admit how silly this is, getting excited over a date that may not even happen with a Shadowhunter of all people, but you didn't get to see him last night," Magnus said, throwing himself down on the couch beside Chairman Meow, who yawned in response.

"Beautiful blue eyes," Magnus murmured, smiling at the memory. "The rest of him was very handsome too, as far as I could tell. But that's not the only reason I'm looking forward to seeing him. He seems…hmm, how to describe it?"

Chairman Meow gave Magnus a look of pure feline disgust.

"I know you're not interested in my romances, but you signed up for this," Magnus pointed out. "As my pet, you have to sit here and listen to me babble on, and in exchange, I'll feed you later. All right?"

Chairman Meow yawned again and closed his eyes, which Magnus took to mean 'yes.'

"Good," Magnus said. "Now, this boy…well, I suppose he must be almost eighteen. Never mind though, it's cradle robbing no matter who I date, short of some ancient thing my own age, and where's the fun in that? But really, this boy is—"

And then someone rang the bell. Magnus cursed, then jumped up to see who it was. A late customer? Or…

"Yes?" Magnus said in a businesslike tone into the call box.

"I-it's me," a nervous voice said, and Magnus grinned.

"I'll be right down," he promised. Then, frowning at the sofa, Magnus waved his hands, and in a shower of blue sparks, the sofa was replaced by two chairs set a few feet apart. Chairman Meow hissed and jumped off the chair that had suddenly appeared under him before scurrying out of the room.

"Sorry," Magnus muttered. "But this boy is _nervous_. I can tell just by the sound of his voice, and I don't want to scare him off. A little space between us should help."

It only took seconds to get downstairs, but Magnus was still strangely relieved when he opened the door and found a slightly flushed Alec standing on the stoop, looking twitchy.

"Hi," Magnus said with a smile. Frankly, he was surprised at himself: he was genuinely pleased to see this beautiful boy he barely knew.

"…hi," Alec said, and Magnus wondered if he usually blushed so much.

"Come in," Magnus said. "I'm not really interested in having the neighbors overhear our scintillating conversation."

Alec actually smiled faintly as he stepped inside. "Sorry. I couldn't think of anything other to say than just…hi."

"It's a good start," Magnus said encouragingly. "Come on, let's just sit and chat for a while. Do you like coffee?"

"Uh, sure," Alec said, apparently surprised to be offered something so normal by a warlock.

Magnus chuckled as they climbed the stairs. "What did you think I was going to offer you to drink? Virgin blood?"

"As long as it's not that stuff that turns people into rats, I'll be happy," Alec said, and Magnus could feel Alec staring at him out of the corner of his eye. "Why did you have that stuff here last night anyway?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I have a slightly twisted sense of humor," Magnus said, opening the door to his apartment. On the way up, he'd conjured a coffee table and two mugs of coffee to sit in front of the chairs in the center of the living room. "While I don't necessarily endorse the concept of people being turned into small rodents against their wills, the people who come to my parties should know enough to be careful what they drink."

"Yeah, well the guy last night was an idiot," Alec muttered, sitting in the chair that Magnus motioned him toward. "Not as stupid as his friend though—she actually went into a nest of vampires to find him!"

Magnus raised his eyebrows. "Do you mean Clary Fray? Really? That girl is both astonishingly brave and shockingly stupid."

"No, she's just stupid," Alec grumbled. "But who's the bigger fool, really? The fool, or the fool who follows him? _Her_, in this case."

"Drink your coffee, then tell me about your bad day," Magnus advised, picking up his own cup and surveying Alec with a smile. The boy was as cute as he remembered: a simple sweater and a pair of worn jeans made him look surprisingly dashing, in a careless sort of way. His hair was tosseled in an endearingly boyish fashion, which was all the more appealing given the fact that Alec had clearly tried to do something to his hair (was that a bit of gel?) before giving up and letting it hang naturally. And those eyes…Magnus shook his head. Since when had he turned into such a sucker for a pair of pretty blue eyes?

Alec sighed and met Magnus' eyes for the first time without blushing. "Is it obvious that I'm having a bad day?"

"It was a lucky guess more than anything," Magnus said. "Go on, you drink and I'll tell you about my day first. Honestly, the things that customers ask for…"

To Magnus' delight, Alec, unlike Chairman Meow, actually seemed interested in the daily dealings of the High Warlock of Brooklyn: who he'd helped with spells that day, whose disputes he'd settled, and who he'd talked out of hiring another warlock to curse someone—troubles like that weren't uncommon among vampires, who always seemed to be getting into little tiffs, and if they could pay for a curse, they could cause serious trouble. Magnus himself hadn't deigned to be paid to curse people for a long time, and though he understood why many warlocks did it—it was an easy way to make a quick buck, given that many downworlders were easily offended and prone to fighting amongst themselves if any measure of power was at stake—he didn't exactly approve. After all, more often than not, he was the person called upon to clean up curses gone wrong, or sometimes worse, gone right.

"Wow," Alec muttered at last, his coffee cup empty by then. "I guess I didn't really know what your job consisted of. It sounds a little bit like being a Shadowhunter, really—I mean, you sometimes have to pick up the messes that downworlders make, and we fix all the problems that demons cause."

Normally, Magnus would have been offended at being compared to the Nephilim, but it was clear that Alec meant the evaluation as a compliment. "The vast majority of downworlders never cause me trouble though," Magnus pointed out gently. "Demons are inevitably troublesome."

"Oh yeah," Alec muttered, staring at his cup. "Sorry, bad comparison. I just…"

"Don't usually talk to downworlders?" Magnus said gently, refilling Alec's cup magically—Alec only jumped slightly, which somehow pleased Magnus. "Don't worry about it, Alec. I don't usually talk to Shadowhunters much. Speaking of which, why don't you tell me about your day while your coffee cools."

Alec sighed. "Not a lot happened, really. Jace and Clary got back early this morning and Hodge—that's our tutor—was furious, for obvious reasons. You know, the whole 'infiltrating a nest of vampires and getting in the middle of a fight between the night children and the children of the moon' thing."

"Before you hear it from someone else," Magnus put in mildly, "I should probably tell you that I'm the one who told your friends how to get to the Hotel Dumont."

Alec shook his head impatiently. "Jace told me that. I don't blame you for giving him directions. I blame that stupid mundane for bringing her stupid friend along last night, I blame the mundane for getting turned into a rat, and I blame Jace for almost getting himself killed for a couple of mundanes!"

"But Nephilim get killed all the time, protecting the mundane world from demons," Magnus said, watching Alec carefully. This was clearly about more than his friend (a friend, or something more? Magnus filed that thought away for later—it had been clear the night before that Alec's eyes often strayed to Jace, but even if his feelings extended farther than friendly concern, Magnus didn't think the feeling was mutual). Whatever was really upsetting Alec, it was personal.

"It was stupid and reckless," Alec insisted, "though I guess Jace has been stupid and reckless about a thousand times before, but this was different! It was for her, some mundane he barely knows. I don't understand it, and I don't like it."

Magnus decided then to act on a hunch. He was fairly certain that his assumption was correct; the only thing he wasn't sure of was how Alec would react when he brought it up.

"Does Jace…know?" Magnus said carefully.

Alec blushed as if he could guess what was coming, but still he asked, "does he know what?"

"How you feel about him?" Magnus said bluntly. "You love him, don't you?"

Alec sat silent and motionless for so long that Magnus worried he'd inadvertently given the boy a massive heart attack. Finally though, he stirred slightly and spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.

"…yes. And no, he doesn't know."

"I'm sorry," Magnus said, surprised to find that he sincerely meant it. "It's not my business to pry like this."

Alec shrugged, his expression abruptly dismal. "Until today, I thought no one but my sister knew," he said, and Magnus fought the urge to reach over and take his hand—Alec looked thoroughly miserable. "My parents…I mean, I don't want anyone to know. Shadowhunters tend to frown upon…people like me. I mean, no one ever talks about it, but I can tell."

"That's because they're mostly a bunch of deathly serious, demon-hunting crazed lunatics who wouldn't know a good time if it bit them in the ass," Magnus said, and he was pleased to see that he'd shocked Alec into a laugh. "I'm serious, Alec. You shouldn't have to be ashamed of who you are, or of trying to enjoy your life with whoever you choose."

Alec smiled faintly and met his eyes again. "Thanks. But I think the Clave would beg to differ with you there."

Magnus snorted. "I daresay there isn't much the Clave and I wouldn't disagree on, if we ever got together and compared notes."

"…Clary…knows," Alec said after a pause, glaring down at the coffee table.

"Yes, you mentioned that last night," Magnus said quietly. "Is that the real reason why you don't like her?"

"That, and Jace likes girls," Alec muttered. "And…I mean, it's not just that she's a girl. He _really_ seems to like her. I've never seen him like this. It's bad enough that he likes her and that he'll probably never like me back. Why did he have to fall for someone who knows my secret? She could tell him any time how I feel about him, and then what?"

Magnus chose not point out that Jace had seemed like an astute if irritating creature, and that he probably already knew how Alec felt about him. Instead, he said,

"All right, I think you've had just about enough caffeine for one evening. Clearly that coffee is making you jittery."

Alec frowned, but he put down his cup willingly enough.

Magnus sighed. "Look, Alec. Worrying about this isn't going to do you any good. I know you don't like Clary, but I don't think she's going to tell Jace about how you feel—she's too busy flirting with him and worrying about her mother to do that. You need to relax. Come on, I bet you don't watch much TV. Want to learn some of the gory details of the lives of mundanes?"

Alec agreed, so they sat together for a few hours and watched TV. Magnus let Alec control the remote, and he flipped around, apparently fascinated by old sitcoms, cooking shows, and an old Hitchcock movie.

"I used to dress like that," Magnus said fondly. "Ah, for the days where every man worth his salt had a fine hat like that."

Alec raised his eyebrows. "How old are you, anyway?"

"Three hundred years old," Magnus said with a careless shrug. "Give or take a few."

"A few what?" Alec said, laughing. "Years, decades, or centuries?"

"Ask me on our next date," Magnus said with a hopeful look, and Alec actually smiled, which made Magnus grin. Apparently, there _would_ be a second date, or third, if you counted the party the previous night, and Magnus decided that counted; the more dates they went on, the less likely it became (Magnus hoped) that he would scare Alec off by moving too fast. Tonight's date had been perfect: they'd sat in separate chairs, they'd had coffee and watched TV. Nothing too aggressively romantic about that…but before Alec left, maybe…

Eventually, Alec glanced at the clock on his cell phone and jumped. "Crap, I should probably get home."

Magnus sighed. "All right, I suppose you can't sleep until noon tomorrow like I can."

"No," Alec said, handing the remote back to Magnus, who turned off the TV. Alec stood up, his expression hard to read. Magnus was pleased to see that he looked reluctant to leave though.

"Last night," he said when Magnus looked at him expectantly, "when Clary accused you of stealing her memories—"

"Which I did," Magnus said evenly.

"—you said…I mean, you described what it was like for you, when you were a kid. And I just wondered…why. I mean, you don't seem like the type to volunteer personal information like that for no reason."

Magnus smiled. "You've taken my measure well, Alexander. Hmm, I suppose the easiest way to explain it is that I felt a little guilty for what I did to that girl for all those years. I still feel guilty. So, I said something that I hoped would make her feel guilty in return. That's all."

Alec grimaced. "Please don't feel too guilty. Trust me, I'm pretty sure the Nephilim are better off without that girl being one of us."

Magnus chuckled and went to the door. "You may be right, but it's hard to tell what talents young Clarissa might be hiding. Come on, I'll walk you down."

They descended the stairs in silence, and when they reached the door, Alec stood uncertainly beside Magnus.

"Would you like to come over tomorrow?" Magnus said hopefully, and he smiled when Alec nodded, his expression abruptly shy again. Suddenly, Magnus realized that he hadn't touched the boy once, hadn't given him any kind of physical indication that he was interested in him. Magnus couldn't remember the last time he'd spent an entire evening simply talking to someone. Their conversation had produced a pleasant feeling of uncomplicated intimacy, but now that they were standing alone in the dark hallway, Magnus couldn't resist pushing his luck a bit. Moving too quickly for Alec to duck out of the way, though Magnus hoped that he wouldn't even try, Magnus leaned over and kissed him gently on the cheek.

When he took a step back, Magnus was amused to see Alec blushing again. _Can __this __boy __really __be __eighteen?_ he wondered. _He __must __be __the __most __bashful__ young __man__ I__'__ve __ever __met._

"Sorry, but I'm a bit old-fashioned," Magnus said cheerfully. "I don't believe in really kissing someone properly until the third date. For us, that will be tomorrow evening, so you only have to wait one more day. Let's say we meet here and go have dinner around six. All right?"

"Oh," Alec said, somehow (to Magnus' delight) looking both eager and terrified. "S-sure. Good. I mean, I-I'll see you then."

Magnus grinned as he watched Alec leave and begin walking back toward the subway. Chairman Meow suddenly appeared behind him on the stairs, mewing angrily. Magnus scooped the cat up and kissed him on the forehead, making a mental note to do the same to Alec the next time he saw him.

"Since you were so good as to not interrupt my date tonight," Magnus said, "for dinner, you're getting caviar."


	3. Chapter 3

Hi everyone! Thanks so much for your reviews of the first two chapters; I'm really enjoying this story, to the point that I'm several chapters ahead (in terms of rough drafts), which is nice—this time of year, what with everything else going on, it can be hard to keep up with fanfic. Today's chapter takes place near the end of "City of Bones," after Alec is badly injured fighting the greater demon. See you again next week! :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" and "The Infernal Devices," and I'm almost halfway done with "Clockwork Angel." (Yeah, I'm slow—I always seem to be behind on my reading! As long as I finish "Clockwork Prince" before "City of Lost Souls" comes out though, I'll be happy :)).

_Chapter__ Three: _Alec

Everything was sort of confused at first, but after a few minutes of hovering on the edge of consciousness, Alec realized that he was in a bed. It felt like his own, but he wasn't quite ready to open his eyes and check. For one thing, his head throbbed. And from what little he remembered of what had happened to him before that interminable period of darkness (there had been a battle...he'd been hurt, badly), it seemed likely that he was dead, and that this was either limbo, or possibly hell, considering the throbbing in his head and the pain in his leg.

"This," a weary voice said, "is not how I pictured our third date."

Alec's eyes flew open, and he abruptly winced when he tried to jerk his head upright. It hurt to move too suddenly.

"Easy," Magnus said gently, pushing him back down onto his pillow. "I'm happy to see you alive at all, let alone conscious, but let's not push it, all right? Just lay there and rest for a while."

"...this is my room, isn't it?" Alec said, trying to move only his eyes and not his head when he looked around the familiar, rather spartan room. The bandage above one eye made it a little difficult to see, but Alec didn't dare lift an arm and try to adjust it—he was achy enough already without trying to move again.

"Yes, and though I suppose you like it just the way it is, I have some suggestions if you're looking to redecorate," Magnus said, his voice amused. He sounded tired too though, and Alec couldn't help but wonder about that. He couldn't have been out for very long, so why did Magnus sound tired?

"How long have I been asleep?" he asked.

"A while," Magnus said grimly. "And as boring and/or creepy as it sounds, I've been watching you the whole time. I wanted to make sure that my attempts to keep you alive were actually successful."

"Y-you…healed me?" Alec said slowly. His brain still felt a bit fuzzy, and it was hard to think, though as soon as he said the words aloud, it was obvious to Alec that Magnus must have healed him.

"Well, my magic isn't all Downworlder litigation and memory erasures," Magnus said with a shrug. Alec noticed for the first time then that Magnus' hair was, for the first time since he'd known the man, free of gel. Even more surprising was the fact that he wasn't wearing any makeup. "And before you can ask, I didn't know that you'd been injured when I came here yesterday. I came here to tell you off for missing our date."

Alec blinked, then smiled weakly. "Oh, yeah. Sorry."

Magnus snorted. "Alec, in my book, a near death experience is a perfectly acceptable reason to miss a date, so don't worry. When I got here yesterday and banged on the door, your sister let me in, crying her eyes out all the while, and immediately started babbling about the Silent Brothers, and how they were supposed to come and heal you. _That_ certainly got my attention. So, I came upstairs, found you lying in a rather messy pool of your own blood, nearly dead, and I healed you. It took a while though, and I'm tired now, so I hope you'll forgive me if I'm not quite my usual charming self."

"You…you saved my life," Alec said slowly.

"I did," Magnus said easily. "But, since it will be a few days before you're back to the peak of health again, I won't mind if I don't get to first base tonight."

"What?" Alec said, confused.

"Never mind," Magnus said dismissively. "It's a mundane saying. Now, just so you know, you're going to need crutches for a few days, but considering the fact that you did battle with a greater demon barely twenty-four hours ago, you're in very good shape. Any questions for me before I fall asleep here in your uncomfortable chair?

"Um…well, first, thank you. And…what should we do on our third date?" Alec said, smiling slightly. "We can go anywhere and do anything that doesn't require me to leave this bed."

Magnus raised his eyebrows, and a wicked smiled spread across his face. "_Anything_, you say?"

Alec flushed. "Well, maybe not…_anything_…but I mean…you said something about saving kissing until the third date, so…"

Magnus' eyes widened, and Alec guessed that he was as surprised by his boldness in saying it as Alec himself was. Magnus didn't speak though, and they were both silent for several seconds.

"I mean…if you want to…" Alec said at last, wondering if it was actually possible to die of embarrassment. What if Magnus had just been playing with him? Why would someone like Magnus really want to kiss him anyway? Magnus was…interesting. And incredibly attractive. And outgoing. Alec invariably thought of himself as quiet and ordinary-looking, a fact that seemed obvious every time he looked in the mirror. Attractive and outgoing people kissed other attractive and outgoing people. Alec wasn't sure who quiet, boring people were supposed to kiss if they were too shy to ever admit to wanting to be kissed.

"You should really rest," Magnus said at last, but his yellow-green eyes, which seemed even more shiny and catlike than usual in the darkness, were focused intently on Alec's face.

"…maybe I will, after you kiss me," Alec said slowly.

Magnus chuckled. "Are you _flirting_ with me, Alec?"

"Am I?" Alec wondered. "I honestly have no idea. I don't usually try to get people to kiss me, so maybe I'm just delirious…"

"Well, I've never been one to ignore the requests of the delirious," Magnus said quietly, and suddenly he was out of his seat and perched on the edge of the bed, and now his face was only inches from Alec's, and Magnus was slowly leaning closer…

Alec hesitated. "Magnus…"

_If __I__ kiss __you, __then __that__'__s it_, Alec wanted to say. _There __won__'__t __be __any __going __back._ But instead he shut his mouth and tried not to think of his life in terms of 'before' and 'after,' though Alec was sure that that was how he would see things from now on. There would be his life before he kissed Magnus Bane, and he wasn't sure what life would be like afterward. But when Magnus paused when he was a centimeter or so away, his lips hovering above Alec's, Alec tilted his head up, and Magnus met him halfway, and then…

Alec wasn't sure what exactly he'd been expecting, but when Magnus kissed him for the first time, all Alec was aware of at first was the fact that his fear of being terrible at kissing disappeared. Magnus simply pressed his mouth to his, very gently at first, and Alec felt his eyes slide shut. That way, it was easier to pretend that this was just a dream, that there would be no negative consequences to whatever happened between them now. Alec kept his eyes closed as he kissed Magnus back, and they stayed closed as he cautiously lifted a hand and slid his fingers through Magnus' hair, trying to pull him closer.

Magnus' movements seemed somehow both gentle and urgent as he pinned Alec to the bed, being careful to avoid his injured leg. Suddenly, what had started as a tender kiss was growing heated, and Alec shuddered from head to toe when he felt Magnus' tongue touch his lips, a silent request for entrance. Meanwhile, Magnus' hands were running down his sides, touching his stomach, and slowly pulling up the hem of his shirt…

Alec's head was spinning, and he had to gasp for breath when Magnus pulled away. It surprised him to see that Magnus was breathing rather heavily too.

"Oh," Magnus said quietly. "That was…not what I expected."

"What," Alec panted. "Was it bad?"

"On the contrary," Magnus murmured, leaning in for another kiss, and this time, Alec opened his mouth immediately. When Magnus' tongue met his, he groaned and tried to press himself closer to Magnus, desperate to ease the growing ache that seemed to dominate the lower half of his body. He wasn't sure if his leg was hurting, or if he wanted Magnus so badly that it hurt, or both, but the sensation was equal parts pleasure and pain, and all Alec wanted was for it to never stop.

"All right," Magnus said finally, wrenching himself away from Alec and sitting on the edge of the bed while they both struggled to catch their breath. "That's enough kissing for one night. In fact, I should probably leave before your wickedly tempting mouth leads me to do anything we might regret in the morning."

"Don't leave," Alec said weakly. "Please, I'll be good. See, I'm not trying to grab you or anything."

Magnus smiled slightly. "You're very good, no question. But you've put me in the mood to be bad, and having just healed you, I'll be irritated if I reopen your wounds by crawling into bed with you and letting my baser instincts prevail."

Alec blushed, but he was unnerved to find that the very idea of Magnus in bed with him sent a surge of excitement racing through him. "Look, I'll go to sleep," he promised. "The bed's big enough for both of us. Just…lie on the other side and sleep."

"And try not to take advantage of you while you sleep, fine," Magnus said, abruptly conjuring a blanket and crossing the room to get to the unoccupied portion of Alec's bed. He lay down on top of the sheet that Alec was beneath, then covered himself with the blanket.

"If there's at least a sheet between us, there's a chance that your virtue will still be intact by morning," Magnus said cheerfully, and Alec shivered again when Magnus wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. Almost involuntarily, Alec snuggled against Magnus (and felt shocked at himself when he realized that he was _snuggling_ up to the warlock). Alec was used to thinking of himself as tall, but Magnus was taller than he was, and lying down, Alec found that his head fit perfectly beneath Magnus' chin. He sighed, grateful for and rather amazed by the sudden feeling of unaccustomed security he felt, lying like this with Magnus' arms around him.

"Goodnight, Alec," Magnus said quietly, and Alec wondered if an errant breeze had caught his hair just then, or if Magnus had just kissed the top of his head. Whatever had happened, it made Alec feel strange. The idea of going out with Magnus, of actually having a…_boyfriend_ still scared him a little. After spending years hiding the truth, it worried Alec that, after knowing the warlock for just a few days, the matter of a boyfriend was already starting to become a part of his reality, instead of being something that he tried to ignore or suppress when at all possible. Alec could admit the truth to himself now: he didn't like girls, and he never would. But as easy it was to admit that he really liked Magnus, it was harder to imagine leaving this room with him, to go out into the world as a couple, where other people could find out about them…where _Jace_ could find out about them. Alec felt guilty, but lying there with Magnus, he wondered what it would be like to lie in bed with Jace's arms wrapped around him…

Alec shook his head slightly. That wasn't fair to Magnus, and anyway, it would never happen. But Magnus was here, Magnus was clearly interested in him, and Alec fervently hoped that whatever daring had allowed him to kiss Magnus tonight wouldn't be gone by morning. Alec hated to think that it might only be delirium that had allowed him to finally reach out toward someone he really wanted. But tomorrow, there would be plenty of time to worry about that. Now, Alec could feel his eyes slipping shut, and he had the oddest urge to tell Magnus how nice he smelled, how warm he was.

"Goodnight," Alec whispered softly, savoring the name as he spoke. "…Magnus."


	4. Chapter 4

Hi everyone! So, yeah, I screwed up: I wrote what used to be chapter 4 chapter because I actually wrote this chapter a while ago…so long ago that _I forgot it existed_. So, yeah, sorry about that. Of course, the good news is, you get two chapter this week, and then next week, you finally get an almost-lemon. :) Sorry for being so confusing though and mixing up chapters like this; in the future, I'll try not to plan things so far ahead that I completely forget aforementioned plans. Anyway, here's the real Chapter 4 of "You and I," from Magnus' POV. (This chapter takes place a few days after the events of chapter 3).

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and isn't the cover of "City of Lost Souls" pretty? I can't wait to get the book! (Only…about four more months…)

_Chapter Four: Magnus_

A few days after Alec had first awoken following the battle with Abaddon, Magnus was pleased to hear someone ring the doorbell a few minutes after sunset. He was fairly certain that this was no nocturnal customer, but it wasn't until he heard Alec's voice on the intercom that he allowed himself to trust in his newfound good mood. His apartment had seemed strangely empty since the last time Alec had left it, so now, the prospect of having him there, in the peak of health again, was an attractive one.

"Hi. I brought food," Alec said simply into the call box.

Magnus laughed. "Well, then I suppose I'll let you come up. Wait a minute." After a quick glance around his apartment, Magnus left the couch the way it was—he was no longer worried about scaring Alec off, but rather, now he was wondering how long it would take to get the dear boy's shirt off. Magnus had refrained from sneaking a peek when he'd healed Alec, but judging by the feel of his muscles, the view was going to be impressive once he finally got a good look at it.

"Hi," Alec said, blushing slightly. Then he made a face. "I said that already. And I'm sorry I can never think of anything better to say than 'hi' whenever I see you."

In answer, Magnus pulled him inside and kissed him very gently. Then the smell of Chinese food hit his nose, and Magnus decided that there was no sense in trying to have a good time with Alec on an empty stomach. "If, in addition to saying hi, you kiss me hello whenever you see me, I'll be quite happy," Magnus said sincerely. "Now, let's go up and eat. What have you brought us?"

It turned out that Alec had gotten what looked to be a little bit of everything: pork, chicken, beef, shrimp, vegetables, white rice, fried rice, noodles, egg rolls, and at least three kinds of soup.

"I wasn't sure what you like," Alec explained sheepishly. "So…"

"So we'll have a feast," Magnus said eagerly. "With all the business I had today, I never stopped to eat. But what's the occasion?"

"I figured we could celebrate me not needing crutches anymore," Alec said with a shrug. "And the whole, 'you saved my life' thing too."

"Definitely a cause for celebration," Magnus agreed, splitting a pair of disposable wooden chopsticks perfectly down the middle. "Look—it's good luck to split chopsticks evenly like this."

"It is?" Alec wondered.

"Well, it's not bad luck, anyway," Magnus said, looking at Alec and licking his lips. "You're here, after all. That's good luck for me."

"…me too," Alec said shyly, and Magnus tried not to sigh. Apparently, now that the boy was no longer bedridden or recovering from a near death experience, he was back to his usual rather reserved and bashful self. It was sweet, certainly, and Magnus liked this Alec, who was kind but a little unsure of himself, but Magnus wanted to see more of the Alec who was uninhibited too. The one he'd barely been able to stop kissing the last time he'd seen him. Hopefully, there would be time to coax that particular aspect of Alec's personality to the surface later.

Magnus put on the TV, and though they sat on opposite ends of the couch, Magnus with his legs stretched out toward Alec, Magnus was glad that at least Alec seemed comfortable enough to sit close to him. Though they'd agreed that they were dating, Magnus wasn't used to relationships progressing as gradually as this one was. He was a bit surprised at himself for not grabbing the boy and taking him to bed as soon as he got inside, because really, hunger was a poor excuse for giving Alec space. Now that he was healthy again, Magnus realized how worried he'd been when he'd last seen Alec—he'd tried to forget the hours he'd spent at the boy's bedside, frantic at how long it seemed to take him to wake up, but with Alec sitting beside him, it was easy to remember the unexpected fear he'd felt when he'd first seen the extent of Alec's injuries.

_I really care for this boy_, Magnus realized, trying not to let his astonishment show as he silently claimed a carton of noodles. So far, he'd felt a great deal of lust for Alec, but it was a bit startling to admit (if only to himself) that he felt tenderness too; such feelings were a rare thing after hundreds' of years worth of lovers. However, with the knowledge of the intensity of his feelings for Alec came a determination to be patient, to wait as long as Alec needed before directing things to a point beyond eating together, watching TV, and sharing the occasional heated kiss.

As they ate, Alec asked questions about the mundanes on the screen before them: "What's with that stupid outfit? Is that supposed to be fashionable?" "They're eating bugs? What kind of contest is this anyway?" "Okay, so why did that guy decide to build his house out of soda cans?"

"Do people really live like this?" Alec finally asked after several episodes of a sitcom. "I mean, sleeping with a different person every week? That's got to be fake. No way are mundanes' lives so interesting."

"Most of their lives are rather dull," Magnus agreed. "You really haven't met many?"

"Not until I knew Clary and Simon," Alec said with a shrug. "Though I guess their lives aren't exactly boring anymore."

"How are things between you and Ms. Fray?" Magnus asked, sensing that Alec's chilly tone toward the girl had warmed slightly.

Alec smiled faintly. "It's…better now," he said. "I mean, we agreed that we both said some stupid stuff before, and now that I know she's Jace's sister, I can sort of relate to her a little better."

"Because you both care about Jace," Magnus said evenly, but he was surprised to feel a stab of jealousy when he heard Alec say Jace's name. Magnus realized that he was really beginning to dislike the Wayland boy—or rather, the Morgenstern boy.

Alec shrugged, his expression rather closed now. "Of course, he's my parabartai."

"Mm," Magnus said, chewing on part of a fortune cookie and hoping he could keep his tone neutral. "It must be hard for him, and for Clary, knowing who their father is."

Alec's face darkened. "Yeah. The next time Jace meets Valentine, I want to be there. I'll teach him to mess with people's heads."

Magnus said nothing, but he was thinking hard. It clearly wouldn't do any good to point out to Alec that he and Jace were practically brothers; Alec was clearly fixated on Jace—not Jace himself perhaps so much as the idea of him, and the secret feelings Alec had harbored for him for years as a result. Alec was convinced that he loved Jace as more than a brother, and though perhaps a part of him did, there was clearly no future in that relationship. Magus found himself wishing, with startling intensity, that Alec could see that.

"Well, things are going to change now," Magnus said thoughtfully—he really didn't want to talk about Jace anymore, but the rumors about Valentine were the only thing that anyone had been talking about for the past few days. "When people find out that Valentine's still alive, that he's taken the Mortal Cup…"

Alec nodded grimly. "Yeah, I've been trying not to think about what it's going to be like when my parents get home. By now, they've probably heard about how we were involved in everything."

Magnus couldn't think of anything to say to that—it had been a tumultuous week for the world of Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike, and all Magnus wanted now was to be close to Alec. He'd been creeping closer to the boy for several seconds now—Alec, staring absently at the TV and apparently lost in thought, hadn't noticed yet that Magnus was now sitting just inches from him. Without a word, Magnus turned off the TV, then looked at Alec to see how he would react. Sure enough, the boy jumped when he saw how close Magnus had gotten without his noticing.

"You should be more careful," Magnus murmured, leaning still closer. "I thought those Nephilim reflexes of yours were supposed to prevent people from sneaking up on you."

"I—I don't have a rune on for that right now," Alec said nervously, and Magnus was thrilled when, instead of trying to escape, Alec let Magnus shift his legs so that he was lying on the couch. Magnus knelt above him and hoped that he didn't look too predatory, looming over Alec like this. The way the boy blushed was really remarkable.

_And I keep thinking of him as a boy_, Magnus thought wryly._ Technically, he's an adult, but he blushes like such a virginal thing…though since he _is_ a virgin, I guess that makes sense. _

"Don't look so nervous," Magnus said playfully. "I won't bite…well, unless you ask me to."

Alec snorted and rolled his eyes, and Magnus smiled.

"I'm just going to kiss you, all right?" he said quietly, leaning down until his forehead touched Alec's. _I'm not going to deflower you on my couch_, Magnus added in his head, though if things went like they had the last time they'd been together, Magnus wondered how long his better impulses would prevail.

"Sure," Alec breathed, and Magnus was distinctly satisfied when Alec inclined his head up a little, bringing his mouth that much closer to his. It was nice to know that despite his nerves, Alec was filled with the usual urges of teenage boys, and that Magnus' usual charms seemed to work on him. But when Magnus kissed him this time, it was different than before.

For one thing, Alec wasn't half asleep or weakened by injury. He was nervous, since he was fully conscious for this kiss, but his uneasiness seemed to fade fairly quickly, and soon, his arms were around Magnus, and Magnus was impressed by how strong Alec was. It was better than he'd imagined, finally feeling the hard muscles he'd stared at so frequently since meeting Alec finally pressing into his own lean form with purpose and desire instead of sleepy lust that Magnus had forced himself to pull away from. After all, Alec had been injured then, vulnerable. Now, he was whole again, and oh so very strong and desirable.

When Alec's mouth fell open with a little groan, Magnus had to swallow a groan himself. He tasted so good—not like the food he'd just eaten so much as his own flavor, a delicious taste that was like the embodiment of the wonderful sensation of friction as his tongue tentatively moved against Magnus' own. Alec tasted like fear and desperate desire mixed seamlessly together, and Magnus wanted nothing more than to spend hours kissing him to ease the fear and stoke the desire until there was no going back, and their clothes were strewn all over the floor, and Alec was beneath him, moaning and begging for Magnus to come inside him…

Tearing his mouth from Alec's, Magnus nipped at the boy's ear, which made Alec jerk against him—and of course, being a healthy young man, Alec was hard already, and straining toward him. Magnus directed a trail of kisses down Alec's neck that left him gasping and writhing a little, trying to thrust against him, but Magnus held him down on the couch—he wanted to celebrate the return of Alec's health, but he sensed that the time wasn't right to go much further than this. Even as the thought occurred to him, Alec seemed to freeze beneath him, and Magnus realized that fear had abruptly overpowered lust, and that if they went too far tonight, Alec would regret it tomorrow…and so would Magnus, much to the warlock's astonishment. He'd never seduced (or perhaps a better word was 'courted') anyone as patiently or as carefully as he was moving with Alec.

_This boy is important_, Magnus realized with a start. The very thought of Alec being so significant—that he might be more than just another lover—was enough to cool Magnus' own ardor somewhat. With a frustrated sigh, he forced his mouth to stop at the collar of Alec's shirt, and then he sat up, kissed Alec lightly on the lips and smiled down at him.

"In case you were worried, I'm not going to try and have my way with you today," Magnus said, surprised at his own breathlessness. "Not on this unremarkable old couch."

"Oh," Alec said, and it was clear he didn't know what to say. "Um…thanks? Or shouldn't I say that?"

"'Thank you for not trying to sleep with me' does sound a bit harsh," Magnus said thoughtfully, moving so that Alec could sit up again. "It's sort of a left-handed compliment."

"How about, thanks for…waiting for me…to be ready, I mean." Alec didn't look at Magnus when he spoke, but when Magnus put a hand under the boy's chin, Alec sighed and met his eyes. "Really, thanks."

"I'm three hundred years old," Magnus said with a shrug, trying not to look disappointed—being chivalrous was harder than he'd thought it would be. "I can be patient. Whenever you _are_ ready, just let me know, all right? I really like you, Alec."

Alec stared at him, surprised, and Magnus was sure he looked surprised too—he hadn't meant to say it, but somehow, the truth had slipped out anyway.

"I—I really like you too, Magnus," Alec stammered, and he blushed furiously when Magnus slid closer again, this time only sliding his arm around him and kissing him on the cheek.

"Mmm," he said, inhaling the scent of Alec's hair—generic shampoo had never smelled so good. "Let's just sit like this for a while, all right? Shall we go back to watching mundanes?"

Alec agreed, so they sat together, watching TV, and after a few false starts, Alec very slowly slid his arm around Magnus' waist, and Magnus resisted the urge to reposition Alec's hand so it was closer to his lap. He'd crossed his legs so Alec couldn't see the erection that he couldn't seem to get rid of, but it was torture, having him so close and yet feeling it would be taking advantage of him to do anything more than kiss him just yet.

_Someday soon, he'll be ready_, Magnus told himself firmly. _And as soon as I get him into my bed…_but of course, that thought only made him harder.

After several hours of (in Magnus' opinion) very innocent snuggling on the couch, Alec looked at the clock on his cell phone and said that he needed to get home. When Magnus stood up, he found that his erection was gone, but he knew that when he stood in the shower after Alec left, it would return with a vengeance when Magnus imagined what he might have done with Alec earlier that evening.

They paused by the downstairs door, and Magnus grazed Alec's hips with his fingers as he leaned forward to kiss him goodbye. Alec blushed, seeming both pleased and unnerved by their sudden closeness.

"I'll…I'll be back soon," Alec whispered._  
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"Good," Magnus said warmly, then pressed him against the door and kissed him, hard, before releasing him abruptly.

"Sorry, but that has to tide me over until next time," Magnus said cheerfully. _I'm going to dream about you tonight, Alec Lightwood_, he thought, already smiling at the thought.

Alec blinked, looking slightly dazed. "I'll come back tomorrow. I mean, if I can."

"In the event of a demon attack, I'll understand if I don't see you," Magnus promised, and then he waved as Alec walked toward the subway. He wondered how long this would last—how long did people normally date, or simply spend time together, before they started doing more than just kissing? Magnus had no idea what the proper etiquette was—he'd never really thought about it much before, but rather he'd simply slept with the people he'd wanted to sleep with and who had wanted him in return, and he hadn't worried about lack of experience (his own or anyone else's) in centuries. Alec, clearly, was different, and for a moment, Magnus wished that the boy wasn't a virgin, but then another irrational pang of jealousy hit him when he imagined anyone else touching Alec the way he wanted to touch him.

_It's better this way,_ Magnus thought, closing the door behind him and going back upstairs. _Since I'll be his first, I'll make it perfect…eventually. Assuming I don't die of wanting him so badly in the meantime._

Magnus found Chairman Meow asleep on the bed in his room, and with a slight frown, Magnus stroked the cat's head.

"Not that you don't make good company," Magnus said with a sigh, "but I'm hoping that soon, I'll be sharing this bed with someone else."


	5. Chapter 5

Hi again! Just to recap, the chapter that was formerly Chapter Four is now Chapter Six, because I completely forgot that this chapter and the previous chapter even existed. So when I found them on my computer, I realized that I was going to have to reorder the chapters (and my brain—yikes, how bad is it to write thousands of words and then forget? Oh well…) Anyway, next week's chapter, Chapter Seven, will have an almost-lemon, though this chapter (like the last one) shows Alec and Magnus starting to have a somewhat more intense physical relationship. Thanks for your reviews, and I'll see you again next week! :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare, not I, is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and I need to check out some new Malec fanfic myself soon…(I can't wait to see what's in store for our favorite couple in "City of Lost Souls!" :))

_Chapter Five: Alec_

As he stumbled out of Magnus' apartment one evening, Alec wondered how much longer he was going to be able to keep his relationship with the warlock a secret. So far, if Jace and Isabelle were suspicious of his increasingly flimsy excuses for disappearing for hours on end, then they weren't showing it. Usually, he just told them that he was going out for a walk, but really, who liked walking as much as he'd been claiming to lately?

Things with Magnus were…good. Too good, almost—every time he visited the warlock's apartment, Alec found himself getting closer and closer to begging Magnus for more than just the increasingly heated kisses they were sharing. And somehow, today Magnus had gotten his shirt off. Alec couldn't even remember it happening—one minute, they'd been curled up on the couch kissing frantically, and Magnus' hands were under his shirt, tracing the lines of muscle from his chest down to his stomach, and Alec had moaned and pressed himself into Magnus…and suddenly, his shirt had been gone.

Magnus had pulled away then, looking sheepish. "Sorry."

"Did you just…make my shirt disappear?" Alec had wondered, more amazed than startled.

"No," Magnus had said, looking a little embarrassed. "I just…here." Magnus leaned over the back of the couch, and snatched the shirt off the floor. "Sorry, Alec."

"That was kind of a lame magic trick, you know," Alec had said lightly, but he'd pulled his shirt back on, noting that it now had a small rip in it, both flattered and unnerved that Magnus was clearly so eager to get his clothes off.

"You're just…" Magnus had trailed off then, his expression hard to read. He'd looked torn between frustration and sadness. Suddenly, he'd leaned down and whispered in Alec's ear, "you can't imagine how badly I want you, Alec."

Alec had shivered at that. He _could_ imagine, actually. But Alec still didn't really know how he felt about Magnus—he was attracted to him, certainly, and he liked spending time with him, but did he _love_ him? Could he ever love anyone the way that he'd silently, and perhaps pointlessly, loved Jace for years? And if he didn't love Magnus, was it really fair to him to be doing this? Alec knew objectively that Magnus had been with lots of people, and on some level, he worried that he was just one more conquest in the warlock's long string of lovers. But when Magnus looked at him, Alec knew that there was something more than simple lust going on here.

At first, Magnus had always been playful, quick to joke and never really serious about anything. But in the past week or so, something about Magnus had changed. He seemed downright…tender at times. He clearly wanted to do more with Alec than what Alec felt he was ready for, but he didn't push it. He just…waited. Whenever Alec felt himself suddenly tense up with nerves if he felt Magnus' hands start to drift too low, or if his own need suddenly startled him into awareness of the fact that he was on the verge of having sex with a warlock, Magnus would pull away without complaint or hesitation, and then after ruffling his hair or kissing him on the forehead, he would turn on the TV, or some music, and they'd continue sitting close together, but they'd both act as though they hadn't just been kissing and touching and generally driving each other half mad with desire.

Alec wondered how long Magnus would wait, because whenever he thought of going further with him, or of how close the bedroom was to the living room where they'd kissed so many times, Alec felt his stomach twist with fear. No, he wasn't ready for the bedroom yet. As it was, he wasn't sure if he'd ever be ready for that: the idea of sex with Magnus scared him, but the idea of anyone (particularly his parents, or even worse, Jace) finding out that he was having sex with Magnus filled him with terror so intense that just imagining that scenario made it hard to breathe.

"Magnus…" Alec had said slowly. He hadn't been able to think of a single coherent thing to say. What _could_ he say? 'I want you too, but I think I'm in love with my best friend?' 'I want to be with you, but only here—not in public, where someone could see us?' 'I don't know when I'm going to be able to sleep with you, since I can't even admit we've been dating?' None of these options seemed very promising.

"It's all right," Magnus said kindly, his expression serene. "How shall I put this? I'm very much looking forward to getting…_closer_ to you, but I'm a firm believer in the notion that good things come to those who wait. So, I'll wait. Lucky for me, you're really quite good at kissing, now that you've had a little practice, so I don't mind just doing that for now. You've got some time before I start really getting impatient to get all of your clothing off you and onto my floor."

Alec had left Magnus' apartment soon after that, and on the subway, he kept his jacket in his lap, his body tense with unsatisfied longing. He jogged back to the institute, trying to forget the wistful look on Magnus' face when he'd left him, and he slipped inside the building as quietly as he could; though he told himself that there was no reason for him to sneak in like a criminal, he couldn't stop himself from tiptoeing down the hall to his room, where he changed the shirt that Magnus had torn. Then he went to find Isabelle—that way, she'd know he was back and not still out doing whatever she imagined he really did when he went for a "walk." As Alec had guessed she might be, she was in the kitchen.

"Hi!" Isabelle called from over by the stove. "I'm trying out a new recipe—it's vegetarian, but trust me, it's supposed to be delicious."

"Oh," Alec said, wrinkling his nose at the odd smell filling the room. "…great."

"What's that mark?" Isabelle said suddenly.

"What mark?" Alec said, hoping he sounded casual and not like he was about to die of embarrassment. Had Magnus left a hickey on his neck? He couldn't stop himself from blushing as Isabelle stepped closer to him though, and Alec wondered briefly if he could actually, literally be killed by the force of his own mortification.

"There's a mark on your neck," Isabelle said, tugging at the collar of his shirt to pull it down. Alec stepped away from her and yanked his collar back up.

"Is that…" Isabelle suddenly fell silent, and when Alec glanced at her, hoping that it wasn't obvious how red he was, he was dismayed to see that she was grinning.

"Ohhh," she said slowly, drawing out the word dramatically. "So that's how it is."

"Just leave it alone, all right?" Alec muttered, glaring down at his shoes.

"All right," Isabelle said lightly, but she didn't stop grinning. "Sometime you'll have to tell me who he is though."

"Shh!" Alec said nervously. "Izzy!"

"Oh come on, Alec," Isabelle said dismissively. "We're the only people here—Jace is off training somewhere."

"Yeah, but he could come back and come in here any time," Alec hissed uneasily. "Tomorrow, I might regret killing you, but right now, I'm definitely considering it if that's what it takes for you to be quiet."

"All right, all right, I won't say anymore about it," Isabelle said, stirring the pot of unidentifiable sludge before her. "But since mom and dad aren't here to say it, I will. If you're having sex—"

"Ah!" Alec shouted, covering his ears. "Isabelle, we are seriously not talking about this!"

"Just be safe!" Isabelle said loudly.

"What are you two yelling about in here?" Jace wondered, and Alec was sure that his face, which had been bright red for several seconds, had just gone white.

"Nothing," he said quickly. "Izzy's cooking again."

"Oh," Jace said carefully, apparently distracted by whatever it was that Isabelle had in the stove pot. "Cooking…what, exactly?"

"Stew," Isabelle said cheerfully. "Want some?"

"I ate while I was out, but thanks Izzy," Alec said, slipping away while Isabelle tried to force a bowl of "stew" on Jace. Alec breathed a sigh of relief as he walked away—Jace hadn't looked as though he'd heard anything shocking, so his secret must be safe for now. He knew it was selfish, but as Alec walked back to his room, a part of him wished that things could just stay as they were right then forever: that he could be with Magnus but not lose Jace. It was, of course, a thoroughly ridiculous thought. No matter how much he wished to maintain the safety of his current reality, Alec knew that things wouldn't be like this forever...


	6. Chapter 6

UPDATE: Hi again! Just so you know, this chapter is now chapter six; it used to be chapter four, until I found the actual chapters 4 and 5 on my computer, written months ago and then forgotten. (Whoops. That'll teach me to try to plan ahead.) Anyway, sorry for the confusion, and if you've already read this chapter, which I posted last week, please go back and enjoy the two chapters preceding this one. Or, enjoy them all, either way. :)

* * *

><p>Hi everyone! Sorry for missing last week, but between Christmas and two chapters of my other stories, I just didn't quite have the time to finish this chapter. This week's chapter is a bit short actually; I've got a long one ready for next week (which is almost but not quite lemony :)), but before I get into the drama of "City of Ashes," I decided to write one more chapter set during "City of Bones." This chapter is written from both Magnus' and Alec's point of view—I'm planning to do this occasionally, so please let me know what you think. Thanks once again for your reviews, Happy 2012, and I'll see you again next week! :)<p>

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and if you don't follow her on Tumblr, please do so. Seriously, if you don't have one already, get a Tumblr just to follow her; she posts the most delightful things. (Like pictures of her new kitty. :))

_You and I_: Chapter Six

Magnus

After several weeks of dating, Magnus was pleased to find that Alec was becoming more and more relaxed and (it seemed) happy in his presence. Of course, there were still some things that made Alec nervous, and being kissed in public was certainly one of them. Smiling evilly as he saw Alec coming toward him one afternoon, on time (as always) for their date, Magnus rose and skipped cheerfully down the steps in front of his building. Before Alec could dodge the attack, Magnus dashed forward, grabbed his shoulders, and gave him a quick kiss.

"Careful!" Alec hissed, glancing left and right as if there might be Shadowhunters lurking in alleyways, spying on Alec to see who he kissed, and whether or not they were the appropriate gender.

"Oh, you worry too much," Magnus said lightly, putting an arm around Alec's shoulders and steering him down the sidewalk. "Nephilim, as you should know, are far too busy killing demons to pull shifts as the make-out police. Now come on, the movie starts in half an hour, and I know you prefer to be punctual."

Though their dates were still surprisingly (in Magnus' opinion) chaste affairs, ever since Alec had healed enough to do without his crutches, they'd been seeing each other several times a week. Usually, Alec simply came to his apartment, where they sat and talked, ate and drank, and spent a lot of time together on the couch, ostensibly to watch TV, but Magnus never paid much attention to the television. Though they inevitably ended their dates by making out on said couch, Alec was always shy at first. Somehow, the pretense of watching TV seemed to relax him, though it depressed Magnus slightly that Alec was still so nervous about having a boyfriend that even when they were alone, it always took him a while to feel comfortable enough in their solitude to do anything romantic.

Of course, Alec's fear of discovery wasn't completely incomprehensible. If his family were to find out that he was dating a Downworlder, they might well object. Magnus often had to remind himself that Alec, for all his strength and bravery, was still very young; unlike Magnus, Alec didn't have hundreds of years of life experience behind him to give him the confidence he needed to disregard the narrow-minded opinions of other Nephilim. Magnus rarely concerned himself with what people thought of him, since few people had known him long enough or cared about him enough to take the time to approve or disapprove of his actions. Alec was different though: Alec had people who did care, and who he couldn't bear to lose. People like that irritating blond, Jace, who Magnus sometimes liked to pretend didn't exist, given that Alec might be in love with him.

In a break from their dating routine, Magnus and Alec went to a movie that afternoon. It was some ridiculous thing about robots, which amused Alec, who was still entertained by the novelty of mundane popular culture. Then they went and had ice cream, something else Alec enjoyed, since it seemed highly unlikely that they would run into any Shadowhunters anywhere that sold something as frivolous as ice cream. Then they walked to Central Park, where there were only mundanes to see them kiss. As the afternoon wore on though, Magnus could feel his usual relaxed mood fading. He was, remarkably, more nervous than Alec for a change, because there was something he wanted to offer Alec today, and he wasn't sure how the beautiful boy was going to respond…

* * *

><p>Alec<p>

That day's date, Alec mused, had been fun, but decidedly nerve-racking. Alec knew it was silly, but all day long, no matter where they went, he'd been nervous about being spotted by someone who knew him. Izzy at least could (probably) keep a secret, but what if Jace happened to see him with Magnus? Of course, Jace didn't see many movies, or (as far as Alec knew) go out for ice cream, and though he sometimes trained in Central Park, Alec didn't see him there during the stroll he took with Magnus. They'd even stopped and kissed for a while as they sat together on a bench, though Alec had been intensely aware of the mundanes all around them.

"No one can see you, you know," Magnus pointed out gently, pulling back enough to kiss him lightly on the forehead. "I know how you worry, so I've put a glamour on both of us. Really, we're quite invisible."

_Could a Shadowhunter see through it though? _Alec wondered, but he was too embarrassed to ask. Instead, he closed his eyes as he leaned forward again to kiss Magnus, and as he did, he tried to forget that this was something he had to hide, that really, they couldn't go on like this forever, and though he was starting to really love Magnus, how could he ever tell his family, tell _Jace_ the truth, when he was so afraid of how they might react? After a while, with sunset fast approaching, Magnus pulled away and tugged Alec to his feet.

"Come on," he said. "I know you need to get back, but will you walk home with me?"

Alec nodded, forcing himself to not pull his hand out of Magnus' as they walked back to the warlock's apartment. Alec sometimes had to struggle not to wince at his own cowardice. Really, he'd been trained to kill demons all his life, yet the thought of being caught holding hands with his boyfriend absolutely terrified him.

As they walked, Alec suddenly realized that Magnus hadn't spoken since…when? When had Magnus ever gone more than a few seconds without saying something funny, or reassuring, or utterly insane? Suddenly, Alec worried that he'd done something wrong. Was Magnus angry with him?

"Um," Alec said suddenly, frantic to test his troubling hypothesis, "I had a great time today."

Much to Alec's relief, Magnus smiled. "So did I. Oblivious as they are to the true nature of the world around them, mundanes have created some entertaining things."

"Yeah," Alec said, smiling slightly too. "Guess I can't fault them for that."

Magnus didn't say anything after that though, and to Alec's intense unease, he remained quiet all the way back to his apartment. Since Alec had promised to train with Jace that evening, he'd have to go back to the Institute as soon as he'd said goodbye to Magnus, instead of staying and spending the evening with him as he usually did—could that be what was bothering the warlock? Alec wished for the hundredth time since meeting Magnus that he had more dating experience. Of course, he could just ask Magnus what was wrong, but somehow it felt like he was just supposed to know if his boyfriend was angry or not. And if he was, what could Alec do about it? _Could_ he do anything, or was Magnus simply tired of his constant nervousness, tired of his desire for secrecy?

When they finally stopped in front of the steps leading up to Magnus' apartment, Alec wondered if Magnus had noticed how sweaty his hand had gotten.

"Well," Alec said quietly, wondering miserably if Magnus was about to break up with him, "I'll see you...later?"

"Before you go," Magnus said quickly, suddenly seizing Alec's other hand and dropping something into it. "I—I want you to have this."

Alec stared at the object in his hand. It was a small silver key on a silver chain.

"Is this…to your apartment?" Alec whispered.

"Yes. It's yours," Magnus said, an unheard-of note of shyness in his voice. "If—if you want it."

Alec nodded furiously, grinning and blushing as he dropped the chain over his head so the key hung around his neck. "Thanks, I—I do. Want a key, I mean. Thank you."

Magnus grinned too now. "I was…well, I wondered if you would. Now you can come over whenever you like and let yourself in. Really, anytime. Day or night."

Alec blushed a little deeper at the thought of showing up at Magnus' apartment unannounced at night. "…thanks, Magnus. Just…I mean, say the word if I use it too much, or if I'm bothering you, just dropping in…"

Magnus chuckled, then pulled Alec forward by the collar of his shirt and kissed him, hard, right there on the front step, his lips tracing Alec's before sliding up his cheek to kiss his forehead, his nose, his cheeks, his chin, and then his lips again. And for once, Alec didn't even think to worry that someone might see them. When Magnus pulled away, he was smiling gently.

"I hope your training goes well tonight, and I'll see you…well, whenever you'd like to come over."

"Tomorrow," Alec said immediately. "I'll—I'll see you then."

"I'll look forward to it," Magnus promised, waving as Alec turned and moved clumsily toward the subway. Somehow, in the aftermath of kissing Magnus, he always felt as though he had two left feet. Though the night air was chilly, Alec could still feel the warlock's kisses all over his face, warming his skin. The key too, which was concealed under his shirt, seemed unnaturally warm as it rested against his chest.


	7. Chapter 7

Hi everyone! Today's chapter takes place during "City of Ashes," right after Jace leaves Magnus' place with Clary and Simon and Alec takes Jace's place. There is an _almost_-lemon in this chapter because I am a somewhat evil person, so you're just going to have to wait for the real lemon, which I imagine taking place between "City of Glass" and "City of Fallen Angels." (Don't worry, I'll have other lemons after that, but that's where the first one's going to be. Sorry. Remember, I'm a bit evil. :)) See you again soon with another new chapter! :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare (not I) is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series.

_Chapter Seven: Magnus_

"So," Magnus said as soon as the downstairs door slammed shut behind Jace and the others, making sure to flash Alec his wickedest grin as he spoke. "I have you in my clutches."

Alec rolled his eyes and smiled. "I think this hardly counts as 'being in your clutches,' since I'm here voluntarily, and I happen to have a key to your evil lair."

"True," Magnus said, pulling off his dressing gown and tossing it over the back of a chair before taking Alec's hand and pulling him toward the couch. For a while, they simply curled up together on the couch and watched TV. Magnus kept his arm around Alec, but since Alec seemed oddly focused on the Discovery Channel, he didn't try to kiss him. After several episodes of Mythbusters, Alec turned the TV off and looked at Magnus.

"Like something to eat?" Magnus wondered—he'd begun to associate some of Alec's more serious facial expressions with hunger rather than uneasiness or irritation.

Alec suddenly looked slightly nervous. "Uh…no, thanks. Actually…"

"What?" Magnus wondered, bemused at Alec's expression. He hadn't seen Alec so embarrassed since the last time he'd magically removed an article of clothing while they'd been kissing on the couch.

"I was wondering if…if we could go to your room this time," Alec said quickly, speaking so fast that Magnus barely understood him. Even when he realized what Alec had said, it took a moment to stop looking shocked and actually say something.

"I…of course, if you'd like," Magnus said, wondering what exactly had brought this on. Alec was blushing furiously, but he wasn't staring at the floor or at his hands—his eyes stayed on Magnus's. "Do you mind if I ask where exactly this very tempting request is coming from?"

"I'm getting tired…of the couch," Alec said, and now he looked away.

Magnus raised his eyebrows. "Are you really tired of my couch, which is a lovely piece of furniture by the way, or are you tired of the fact that we never finish what we start on the couch?"

"I'm getting tired of…the second thing," Alec said, glancing up at Magnus before looking away again. "I mean, I'm tired of always being the reason we…stop. Because I _do_ want to…you know. I just—"

"If you're still referring to sex as 'you know,' then I'm not sure we should be trying it just yet, Alec," Magnus said, pushing a lock of hair out of Alec's eyes. It pained him to even suggest that sex might be a bad idea, considering the sleepless nights he'd had the past few weeks, imagining Alec in bed with him, imagining how good it would feel to finally touch and taste every inch of him…

"I know you want to," Alec said, and though he blushed as he said it, his tone was firm, and Magnus wondered, as he had countless times before, how anyone could simultaneously be so awkward and so sexy.

"I certainly do," Magnus murmured, kissing him lightly before pulling away reluctantly. "When you're ready. Do you honestly think you're ready for the bedroom, Alexander?"

_Please be ready, please be ready_, Magnus thought, and he felt guilty when he realized his baser instincts might just prevail this time. Magnus didn't think that he would have the self control to resist doing anything and everything to Alec once he got him into bed.

"…yes," Alec said, and though his expression was nervous, it was determined too. "I want to be with you, Magnus. I mean…in every sense. I'm ready."

Magnus tried not to sigh. He was worried that he didn't have the fortitude necessary to try and talk Alec out of this. Honestly, Magnus didn't think that Alec was as confident as he was trying to make it seem—he seemed simultaneously thrilled and terrified at the thought of sex, which Magnus guessed was probably normal virgin behavior, but he wasn't really sure. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd been with a virgin, but it had been centuries ago, and how had he reassured the boy he'd been with then? Or had it been a girl?

Magnus shook his head ever so slightly to dispel the thought of former lovers. It was surprisingly easy to do so—after several centuries, Magnus had grown somewhat cynical about sex, or at least, he usually was. Generally, he found himself with experienced lovers whose company he could enjoy for a while before parting on cordial terms. But just considering sex with Alec was…different. Magnus was surprised to find that he felt a little nervous himself. Somehow, it seemed incredibly important to do this right.

"All right," Magnus said at last, trying to keep his voice steady. He licked his lips, told himself to resist the urge to pick up Alec and run with him to the bedroom, and instead offered Alec his hand. "Come on, then. Let's try. But if you change your mind, just tell me, all right?"

"You won't mind?" Alec whispered, standing up and taking Magnus' hand. He sounded nervous, but there was an excited look in his eyes that made Magnus momentarily question his resolution not to rush things.

"Well, I probably won't die of disappointment outright," Magnus said, slowly leading Alec to the bedroom, deliberately keeping his voice light and cheerful—he wanted to relax Alec, to show him that this would be something he'd enjoy. "I might slowly waste away and perish after a few weeks of terrible suffering, but don't let that worry you."

Alec laughed weakly, and all at once, they were in the bedroom.

"Here we are," Magnus said unnecessarily, wincing inwardly at his own awkwardness. Since when was Magnus Bane _shy_ about sex?

"So," Alec said, blushing furiously, but he didn't pull his hand away from Magnus'. "How do we…start?"

"Making out for a while seems like a fairly foolproof way to begin," Magnus said, smiling fondly at Alec. "You have no idea how cute you are right now, do you?"

"…no?" Alec said uncertainly, but he smiled when Magnus pushed another lock of curly hair away from his face. "I mean, obviously, you're…"

"Gorgeous?" Magnus offered.

Alec laughed. "And so modest."

"Come here," Magnus said gently, sitting down on the bed and pulling Alec down beside him. Leaning close, he kissed Alec's forehead, then trailed his lips down his nose, which made Alec laugh, and then Magnus reached his lips; Alec stopped laughing then. Magnus felt him shiver a little when he slid his arms around his waist, and as he opened his mouth a little, willing Alec to do the same, Alec's arms wound around his neck, and Alec's tongue touched his.

Magnus lay down then, pulling Alec down with him and hoping that Alec was caught up in the moment to the point that he wouldn't remember that they were on the bed this time, not the couch, and after a few more uncertain moments on Magnus' part, he slid his hands under Alec's shirt, loving the feeling of the delicious boy spread out on top of him.

Alec pulled away then, and Magnus was about to start reassuring him that it was all right to be nervous, that they'd slow down if he wanted…and then Alec simply pulled his shirt off and tossed it onto the floor without a word.

Magnus' eyes widened. "Well, that's…excellent."

Alec grinned and leaned back down. "You've seen me shirtless before," he pointed out.

"But I've never seen you take off a shirt before," Magnus explained, nipping Alec's earlobe before kissing along the side of his jaw and then down to his throat. "Mmm, Alec…"

"My shirt's off," Alec said, his voice shaking a little as his fingers trailed down Magnus' ribcage. "Why isn't yours?"

Magnus had his silver mesh shirt off so fast that he nearly tore it in half. He let Alec look down at him for a moment—most people (well, humans at least) were a little startled by the fact that he had no navel, but Alec had seen or felt most of him from the waist up before, so he didn't seem unnerved. In fact, he looked…appreciative. Very much so, in fact.

"Excuse me," Magnus said quietly, willing himself to do this as gently as possible, and then he flipped Alec onto his back and straddled him. Rather than seeming alarmed, Alec grabbed Magnus' head and kissed him furiously. Magnus blinked, feeling slightly dazed. The shy virgin now had his tongue halfway down his throat, and it was an incredible sensation, feeling Alec's hard body pressed against his like this, no clothes between their chests for a change. After several moments of increasingly desperate kissing, during which Alec was forever running his hands through Magnus' hair and down his shoulders, while Magnus grabbed Alec's waist and ground them together, Magnus pulled his mouth away and slid his tongue down Alec's throat, then along his collar bone, before gently dragging his teeth down Alec's chest to his left nipple, which he licked gently before sucking it into his mouth.

"Magnus!" Alec gasped, and then he moaned when Magnus, his hands still on Alec's waist, ground against him again. The friction was enough to make Magnus grit his teeth with the effort of proceeding carefully; normally, this would be the point at which he'd pull his pants down, tear off his lover's, and then slam into him or her with little ceremony. You could manage that sort of thing with someone experienced, assuming they didn't beat you to the punch and take you first, but Alec, Magnus reminded himself frantically, was different. That was why Magnus moved very slowly when he released Alec's nipple and began kissing down his chest, stopping to thrust his tongue into Alec's belly button. He savored the sound of Alec moaning, and as he kissed his hipbone, Magnus reached for the button on Alec's jeans, undid it, reached for the zipper and admired the bulge beneath it—

And then Alec's cell phone rang. For several seconds, neither Magnus nor Alec moved, but then, slowly, Magnus pulled the phone from Alec's pocket and scowled at the name that appeared on the screen. He turned the phone around so Alec could see.

"It's…Jace," Alec panted. His expression, which had been dazed with lust a second before, was now alert, worried.

Magnus groaned, though this time in frustration, not passion, and rolled off of Alec, thinking that he was going to need more than one cold shower to erase the memory of what might have been if that _insufferable_ boy hadn't chosen precisely this moment to call.

"Answer it then. But if he isn't calling about something _extremely_ important, so help me, I will kill him in the slowest, most painful fashion I can manage."

_So close_, Magnus thought bitterly as Alec, blushing furiously at (Magnus guessed) just having Jace's voice in the room after what had _almost_ just happened, opened his phone.

"Alec, it's me," Magnus heard Jace say before Alec could even say hello. "Simon's…he's in bad shape. He went to the Dumont after we finished our business at the Seelie Court. You and Magnus need to find as much blood as you can and meet us in the Jewish cemetery on the edge of Queens in thirty minutes!"

Magnus cursed quietly. Apparently, this was as far as he and Alec were going to go tonight, but now they had bigger problems than unfulfilled lust. Businessman that he was, while Alec stared at his cell phone in shock, Magnus wondered where he could get the best deal on blood at this time of night.


	8. Chapter 8

Hi again! Today's chapter takes place during "City of Ashes" (after Alec denies that he's dating Magnus when Jace asks about their relationship), and it concerns Alec's confused thoughts on who he loves and what he should do about the feelings he has for both Magnus and Jace. Now remember, I am—say it with me—_slightly evil,_ so the next few chapters aren't going to offer much if anything in the way of lemons, but I promise we'll get to those eventually. (Fair warning though—this chapter, and pretty much every other chapter I've got that's set during "City of Ashes" is going to be rather emo and not very sexy. Sorry, but in the case of Magnus and Alec, I feel like they thought about sex for a long time before actually having any, so all these moody contemplative chapters are a necessary evil. :)) Thanks for all your wonderful reviews, and I'll see you again next week with chapter nine!

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare, not I, is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series.

_Chapter Eight: Alec_

Frustrated, Alec kicked at a broken chunk of concrete as he walked back toward the Institute to get some new clothes. He could have taken the subway, or a cab, but he'd wanted the time to think, and he wasn't exactly in a hurry to get back to Luke's because he wasn't really sure what was waiting for him there. It was bad enough that he kept flinching every time Magnus touched him in public; it was immature at best, and hurtful to Mangus at worst. But when he thought of Jace, and what he'd said tonight, Alec couldn't help but cringe.

It still shocked him that Jace knew the truth. Of course, Alec had vigorously denied the truth, but it was clear that Jace hadn't been convinced. And he hadn't seemed disturbed or ever surprised, which was a good thing, right?

Alec sighed. Having Jace know about Magnus was definitely _not_ a good thing. How could it be? Alec knew that he could never tell Jace how he still felt about him as long as he was dating Magnus, because how would that look? "I'm in love with you…but I'm dating this other guy." And then there was Magnus.

Just because he loved Jace didn't mean that he didn't love Magnus, but that was another conversation that Alec would really prefer to avoid: "Magnus, I love you…but I still love Jace too, I think. So do you mind if we just keep pretending that we're not dating, but keep dating in secret, until I figure this stuff out?" Yeah, Magnus would _love_ that. And it was hardly fair to string him along that way, assuming that that was what Alec was doing. What did you call dating someone when you were still in love with someone else? Alec sighed at the thought of his own inexperience; he wished he had some kind of point of reference for what was going on just now. Having never been in a relationship before, he wondered if things always got so complicated, or if things like this only happened when you spent years hiding who you really were and pretending that the most important person in your life was your best friend, and nothing more.

Without having to think about what streets to take, Alec found himself heading for the Institute—at least there, he could get cleaned up. Maybe a shower and new clothes would help clear his head. _And in a perfect world, there would be someone parental I could ask for advice on how to deal with this stuff, _Alec thought with a frown. _In reality though, I think mom and dad would either kill me or die of embarrassment before they'd ever give me advice on which boy I should go out with…_

Back at the Institute, as Alec stood under the shower, his confusion was only deepened by the fact that he couldn't stop thinking about the feeling of Magnus' hands on him just hours before. The taste of his lips, the feeling of his spiked hair, smooth skin, firm muscles, his strangely oh-so-tempting scent…Alec sighed and turned up the cold water, but after several minutes of torture, he gave in and slid his hands down his body, breathing hard when he closed his eyes and pretended that Magnus was there in the shower with him, touching him and teasing him, stroking him relentlessly until finally, Alec shuddered and came, whimpering Magnus' name as he did.

An hour later, after pulling on a new sweater and jeans, when he stepped out of the Institute and onto the street again, Alec didn't feel any better about his ability to handle his present situation. It was still dark outside, so with a sigh, Alec decided that before he returned to Luke's he'd go get some donuts. Magnus liked donuts, but it wouldn't be a peace offering exactly—he'd get enough for everyone.

_Jace likes donuts too_, Alec thought before he could stop himself. Then he grimaced. _Maybe I just want to sleep with everyone who likes donuts. _

As Alec moved through the mostly quiet streets, he couldn't stop wishing that he understood just how he felt about Magnus and Jace. _I wish I could be honest with Jace, _Alec thought sadly._ I mean, what if he feels the same way? But I guess…obviously he doesn't, unless he's been dating girls for show all these years, which is hard to believe…but if I tell him the truth about Magnus, will he even want to be friends anymore? He seemed fine with the whole thing last night, but maybe that was just an act. If I actually admitted that lately, I've been making out with a _guy_ on a regular basis, he'd be disgusted, wouldn't he? And once I tell him, there won't be any going back—what if I can't deal with the consequences of telling Jace the truth? And what about Magnus? I want to be with him, but I can't just give up on trying to be with Jace without ever even telling him how I feel…but can I really make Magnus wait for me to figure all this out?_

Alec bought a box of donuts at a restaurant a few blocks from where Luke lived, and then started trudging back in that direction. He wondered what he would find when he got there, in part because he still had no idea what he was going to say that could explain what he'd said the previous night. Just the thought of facing everyone at Luke's, and trying to sort out his love life, made Alec feel vaguely ill, but he kept walking, in part because he was in love with at least one person currently staying at the werewolf's house. But who did he love more: Jace or Magnus? Alec still didn't know, but at least this morning, he'd bought breakfast for both of them.


	9. Chapter 9

Hi everyone! Sorry for not updating last week, but here's my excuse: I finally have a new job! It's in Illinois, so I drove out there to check out the town, and though I'm a bit nervous about moving so far from my family, I think I'll really enjoy it once I get used to it. (The job doesn't start until March, so between now and then, I'm going to be getting ready to move and hopefully finishing chapters on time again. :)) Here's another chapter set during "City of Ashes"; it takes place after Magnus knocks Alec out when he almost reveals his relationship with Magnus to his parents while under the influence of the courage rune. Thanks so much for your reviews, and I'll see you again soon with another chapter! :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and I am not—I'm just borrowing her characters for a spot of fun. :)

_Chapter Nine: Magnus_

Magnus stormed up the stairs to his apartment, then unlocked the door magically—he was too irritated to bother with the key. Slamming the door behind him, he found Chairman Meow sitting on the couch, glaring at him with that level of disdain that only cats are capable of conjuring.

"Don't give me that look," Magnus said wearily. "I've had a long day, two long days really, and the last thing I need is for you to give me the evil eye just because Alec isn't here."

Chairman Meow continued to glare at him, so with a sigh and a wave of his hand, Magnus filled the cat's food bowl. At least that got Chairman Meow to stop glaring long enough to hop off the couch, run to the kitchen, and scarf down his food. Magnus, having nothing better to do, threw himself down on the couch and watched the cat eat.

"What do you see in Alec, anyway?" Magnus said irritably. "He pets you sometimes while we watch TV. That is the extent of your relationship, yet lately you glare at me every time I come upstairs without him." With a frown, Magnus stared up at the ceiling. "And for that matter, what do _I_ see in Alec? How many boys like him have I known over the years? How many equally distracting women? What makes him so different from anyone else?"

Magnus had been asking himself this same question for weeks, but he had yet to come up with a satisfying answer. Alec was gorgeous, of course, but more than that, he was so honest that Magnus never had to wonder how he was really feeling. Alec was straightforward to a fault, except when it came to making their relationship public…but then today, he'd almost revealed everything, and Magnus wasn't completely sure why he'd stopped him from doing so.

_He was only going to do it because of the courage rune that Clarissa drew,_ Magnus told himself sternly. _It doesn't count if he needs a rune to force himself to be honest. _Truthfully though, Magnus was dying to find out what the Lightwoods would think of the truth when they finally discovered it; the Lightwoods he'd known in the past hadn't been the most tolerant or loving people, and much as Magnus wanted Alec to tell his family about their relationship, he was worried too. He loved Alec too much already to want to be the cause of his being disowned, and who knew what else, if his parents decided that having a son who didn't like girls was too great a shame for the noble house of Lightwood to bear.

"How did this happen?" Magnus demanded. Chairman Meow, who had apparently finished eating, hopped up onto the couch and curled up on his chest, though his eyes stayed open, watching Magnus with practiced feline disinterest. "I flirted with Alec at that silly party of mine because I thought it might be fun to have a fling with him—it's been ages since I've dated anyone, let alone a Shadowhunter—and I could count the number of times that's happened on one hand, even if I were missing a few fingers. But now he's all I can think about. Him and his beautiful blue eyes…"

Just then, Chairman Meow began to snore softly. Magnus sighed and closed his own eyes, thinking. _Why does Alec matter so much?_ he wondered. _Why do I keep fretting over what he might have to give up to be with me, and how could I have let what started as an entertaining flirtation grow into something so important? _

Startled, Magnus's eyes shot open. He'd just realized that he couldn't think of anything in his life that was more important than Alec's wellbeing. Even the significance of his own wellbeing paled in comparison. Sitting up, Magnus pushed Chairman Meow off his chest, too stunned by his sudden revelation to be polite. The cat yowled indignantly, but then resettled himself on the couch as Magnus made his way to the bathroom to take a long, cold shower.

_ Maybe that will help me come to my senses_, he thought, feeling slightly frantic. But as he pulled off his shirt, Magnus couldn't help but picture Alec as he'd been the night before: shirtless, flushed, hard and writhing beneath him, and though the image delivered a predictable rush of lust, Magnus felt oddly tender too, that Alec trusted him, had wanted him enough to almost…but that had been yesterday. Who knew how Alec felt now, or if he was going to go back to futilely pining for Jace, and so what if he did? That was his business…

Magnus sighed as he stepped into the shower. _It's my business now too, like it or not_, he thought grimly. _Why, after hundreds of years of pleasant but fleeting and usually uncomplicated love affairs, did I have to fall hard for a boy like Alec?_

Magnus couldn't think of an answer to his question, and it pained him to think that in a few decades, it wouldn't matter, because Alec would be dead, and then Magnus would have to try and escape from any loneliness he might feel with someone new. In the end, Magnus didn't have the masochistic desire to really endure a cold shower, and though the hot water was relaxing, it also made him linger under the showerhead. Doing so gave him ample time to think about Alec: worrying about Alec, trying to protect Alec from his own stupidity, kissing Alec…Eventually, Magnus let his hand trail down his chest and thought of Alec as his fingers drifted south, wondering all the while if Alec ever thought of him this way, and hoping that he did. But even then, would they ever have anything more than fantasies about each other in common?


	10. Chapter 10

Hi everyone! In the spirit of trying to be a little bit less evil, Magnus and Alec are actually together in this chapter, and it's sort of a romantic moment, but…well, you'll see. (FYI, it features both their points of view too.) The following takes place near the end of "City of Ashes," as I suppose the quote at the beginning of the chapter indicates; the next few chapters will take place during "City of Glass," and then, I promise, there will finally be lemons. Just a few more chapters to go, I promise. :) Thanks once again for all your wonderfully kind reviews (and your patience when it comes to waiting for lemons), and I'll see you again soon! (I'm moving next week, so I make no promises regarding actually getting a chapter done…)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare, not I, is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, which is in fact awesome. :)

_Chapter Ten_: _Alec_

_"…I know you can take some of my strength, I've heard of warlocks doing that—so I'm offering. Take it. It's yours."_

When Alec offered Magnus his power, he did so without really thinking about what the consequences of doing so might be. It wasn't until he felt his strength beginning to ebb away, and he began to shiver in his wet clothes, that he realized he needed to think about the future, and how if he didn't really understand his feelings for Jace versus his feelings for Magnus… then he really shouldn't try to be with Magnus anymore. After all, he was a Shadowhunter; was pursuing a relationship with Magnus, a downworlder, really a good idea for either of them? Then there was his family to consider. Alec remembered the way his father had spoken to him before the battle with such respect and love—could he really risk losing the relationship he had with his parents for a man he barely knew?

All of his arguments for staying away from Magnus Bane after that night flashed through Alec's head as he felt himself slipping toward unconsciousness, but almost as soon as he'd passed out, Alec began to dream, and then, he couldn't escape the knowledge of what he really wanted. In the dream, Alec was in bed with Magnus again. This time, they were lying side by side, just looking at each other. Though Alec knew in some obscure part of his brain that this was a dream, he still greedily took in every detail of Magnus' face, wanting to memorize everything before he had to say goodbye for good.

After a while, Magnus leaned over and kissed him for a long, long time. Then he pulled away and said, "Alec, I…somehow, I love you already. And I think you love me too, which only makes this harder for both of us." And then the dream ended, and for a long time, Alec was aware of nothing that went on around him.

_Magnus_

As Alec's eyes slid shut, Magnus savored the feeling of power coursing through him. Looking down at Alec though, his head resting against Magnus' shoulder, both of them still soaked with river water, Magnus felt a sudden pang, a mixture of guilt and something else. Brushing a bit of Alec's hair away from his forehead, Magnus glanced around to make sure that they weren't being watched.

Magnus didn't care if anyone saw him kissing Alec, but he knew that Alec would be horrified if anyone saw them, even if he did have the excuse of being out cold. Despite the fact that he was unconscious, Magnus couldn't bring himself to disregard Alec's desire for secrecy, even now, when, if things went badly enough in the fight with Valentine, they might never kiss again. Still, it was the thought of that grim possibility that made Magnus lean down and kiss Alec's forehead, his eyelids, and finally, his lips. He lingered there for a long time too, easing Alec's lips open with his own and gently tasting the sweet mouth beneath his, hopefully not for the last time.

Alec stirred slightly, as if the kiss had made its way into his dreams, and Magnus held him tightly for a moment, wishing that things could be different, but knowing that that was probably impossible.

"Alec," Magnus said quietly. "I know you can't hear me right now, which is the only reason I can tell you this. I…I realize we barely know each other, and of course I'm less than thrilled with your inexplicable urge to keep me a secret from everyone you know, and objectively speaking, we're probably completely wrong for each other. But Alec, I…somehow, I love you already. And I think you love me too, which only makes this harder for both of us."

Magnus gazed down at Alec and resisted the urge to kiss him again. _Do we really have a future together if you can't even bring yourself to admit the truth about us without a rune to help you?_ he wondered.

Magnus sighed, then gently lifted Alec up and prepared to carry him to one of the boats that were taking the wounded back to land. Magnus felt tired, not because of lack of energy now, but because as old as he was, Magnus had no idea how to manage his feelings for Alec Lightwood. At that moment at least, it seemed that the best way to overcome his present difficulty was to refuse to deal with it at all. If Alec came to see him, he'd welcome him back. But if Alec continued to maintain the fiction that they weren't together, then Magnus would go along with that story: he too would behave as though there was nothing between them.

"Since you're determined to continue pretending that we're strangers to each other, Alexander, then I give up. In the future, I'll follow your example and do the same," Magnus said quietly, moving Alec gently in spite of the sadness and anger he felt at the thought of losing him because of the dear boy's own fear and stubbornness.

"When you're ready to start acknowledging my existence again, then I'll acknowledge yours, but not until then," Magnus said softly. "Goodbye, Alec."

Then, feeling unhappy but resigned, Magnus put Alec onto the nearest boat. Spotting his sister, Magnus set Alec down beside Isabelle just as he began to stir, his eyelids fluttering as though he were on the verge of waking up. With a final fond look, Magnus turned back to the business at hand. But even as the air around him filled with magic as he began to reinforce the enchantments he'd cast earlier that night, Magnus couldn't help but feel a little lonely when he thought of how much time might pass before he saw Alec again.


	11. Chapter 11

Hi everyone! Sorry for disappearing, but last week, I moved into my new apartment (I live in Illinois now, and I'm starting a new job tomorrow), and I'm finally starting to settle in to my new town. (At least, I'm getting lost slightly less than I was this time last week…:)) Today's chapter takes place at the beginning of "City of Glass," and it concerns Alec's thoughts on his attempts to ignore Magnus, despite his continuing feelings for him. (Magnuswould be pretty hard for me to ignore too. :)) Thanks again for your reviews, and for waiting for updates; now that I'm going to have a regular schedule again, I'm hoping to have a chapter ready every Saturday. With that goal in mind, see you again next Saturday! :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare, not I, is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series. I am only borrowing Magnus and Alec for fun. :)

_Chapter 12: Alec_

Alec was almost painfully uncomfortable as he stood in the courtyard with his parents and a few other adults, Isabelle, Max, Jace…and Magnus. Magnus, of course, was busy preparing to open the portal to Idris, and therefore had a completely understandable reason for not speaking to him beyond a brief hello. Alec understood Magnus's present distraction, but given the fact that they hadn't spoken since the night of the battle on the river, Alec knew that Magnus wouldn't have spoken to him even if they'd had the opportunity to sneak off for a private word together. No, clearly the warlock was ignoring him, and maybe it would help if, from now on, that was how Alec thought of him: the warlock. Not as Magnus, not as his boyfriend…or as his ex-boyfriend. Just a downworlder…whose apartment Alec still had a key to.

_I should give it back_, Alec thought grimly, feeling the small silver key against his chest. He had to struggle to resist the urge to pull it out from under his shirt and hold it, as he often had since the last time he'd seen Magnus. Usually, he would hold the key in his hand and stare at it when he couldn't sleep, or before he took it off to shower, and every time he looked at it, rather than reproaching him, it seemed to tempt him. _Is it really too late to make things right with Magnus?_ Alec often wondered, though he tried to avoid that train of thought. After all, even if Magnus could forgive him, that wasn't the point. The point was that Alec needed to do the right thing for himself, and for his family. That meant being the best Shadowhunter he could be, and that did not include…_consorting_ with warlocks or any other downworlders.

Since Magnus had arrived to open the portal, he'd barely looked at Alec, and Alec was both grateful and annoyed by that. On the one hand, the fact that Magnus was ignoring him made it easier for Alec to ignore Magnus; still, it rankled a little that he was apparently so easy to cast aside. So much for everything Magnus had ever said about Alec being 'special.' If Magnus wasn't upset about what had happened between them, then fine, Alec wouldn't be either. After all, they were both better off this way, living in their own worlds with their own kind, and not venturing outside their respective social spheres. It seemed a little ironic now, that Magnus had once been bothered by the fact that Alec wouldn't acknowledge their relationship. Now that there _was_ no relationship between them, shouldn't everything be easier? Couldn't they both just go on with their lives as if nothing had ever happened?

Alec swallowed hard. Maybe Magnus could, but he knew that he couldn't. For better or worse, Magnus had been his first love, and Alec knew that he would never really be able to forget him…but he also knew that he had to try. He had to try and follow Magnus's example and simple ignore the man he'd once loved…or still loved. That possibility was something else that Alec tried hard not to think about.

Alec was vaguely aware of Max and Isabelle talking while Jace disappeared with Simon…Simon the vampire, the downworlder. Maybe it was just a bad idea to get into the habit of being on a first name basis with downworlders. It only led to heartache, to growing close to people who could never really understand what you'd been working toward your whole life, what it really _meant_ to be a Shadowhunter. Alec knew he'd been foolish to think that he could ever risk his future with the Clave for anyone…even Magnus. Magnus, who'd saved Alec's life…who Alec still dreamed about kissing…

Out of the corner of his eye, Alec watched Magnus and his mother talking, and though Alec could hear that they weren't talking about him, he blushed reflexively. How could Magnus talk to his mother so casually, as if he and Alec had never…well, it didn't bear thinking about everything they'd done and everything they'd almost done. Alec tried not to imagine how shocked his mother would be if she ever found out that he and Magnus had once dated; every time he'd tried to picture such a scene in the past, he either imagined his parents promptly disowning him with angry shouts, or just staring at him, mute with shock and horror at what he'd done. No, Alec didn't dare face that.

Alec glanced at Magnus then, thinking of how trying to pretend he didn't exist made him feel a little sick. Was it at all possible that Magnus might be as miserable as he was now? It was hard to imagine it; Magnus seemed so cavalier, his movements practiced and unhurried as he prepared to open the portal. In what Alec later thought could have only been a moment of madness, Alec wondered briefly if being a Shadowhunter and pleasing his parents and the Clave was really worth continuing to hide who he really was, if doing so meant losing Magnus.

Then the Forsaken appeared, and for a while, Alec was able to forget his personal troubles in the midst of a desperate struggle to stay alive.


	12. Chapter 12

Hi everyone! This week's chapter takes place during "City of Glass," right after Magnus and Alec fight a bunch of Iblis demons. (FYI, they finally get to have a sort of romantic moment again too. :)) Thanks for all your reviews and kind wishes for my new job; it's going really well so far, and I really like my new apartment (especially now that my wireless is working again :)). Also, next week's chapter is probably going to be a bit short too, since I'm still setting things up for the big kiss before the battle, but I'm really looking forward to that scene, so don't worry—I'll get there soon. And after that, lemons! :) See you again next Saturday!

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare, as opposed to me, is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series. :)

_Chapter 12: Magnus_

"Where are you going?" Magnus demanded as Alec took off running, exiting the square where they'd been fighting Iblis demons together just moments before.

"Home!" Alec shouted. "I need to find my parents and everyone else back at the house and find out what's going on!"

Magnus groaned at the stubborn stupidity of Alec's intention; in situations like this, splitting up rarely helped anyone, but by the same token, Magnus wasn't about to follow Alec to the Lightwoods' door—that plan would almost certainly do more harm than good. Besides, he was supposed to be angry with Alec. It wasn't as though the dear, stupid, infuriating boy was ever actually intending to introduce him to his family. Was he?

_Of course not_, Magnus told himself, still running behind Alec._ A promise made when death by demon seemed like an imminent possibility doesn't count for anything...or at least it wouldn't with most people. Alec probably_ thinks _that he really intends to make good on his ridiculous pledge. Never mind that he'd likely be disowned if he ever did anything so stupid…_

Magnus grimaced as he ran. Ever since the last time he'd seen Alec, when he'd opened the portal to Idris, he'd been berating himself on an almost hourly basis for falling in love with someone who so clearly didn't love him nearly as much in return. How could he have been so naïve as to think that a relationship with any Shadowhunter, to say nothing of a Lighthood, could ever work out? After hundreds of years of (usually) sensible behavior when it came to romance, how could he have let himself become the pursuer instead of the pursued? With the exception of Camille, Magnus was used to wanting his lover a bit less than he was wanted in return. Love affairs like that were always less complicated than this one with Alec had been so far. However, they'd been much less satisfying too. And now Alec might be running off to his death without knowing how Magnus really felt…

"Wait a minute, Alec," Magnus said, putting on an extra burst of speed to catch up with him. Having slightly longer legs, it only took a few seconds before he was running parallel with him. "I—I should go. I'm sorry I can't come with you, but—"

_ But if I did, I don't think I'd be doing you any favors_, Alec thought grimly, picturing the Lightwoods, Maryse in particular, and what they might think if they ever discovered his recent dalliances with their eldest son. Unless Magnus missed his guess, weapons would almost certainly become involved in such a conversation. Lots of weapons, and somehow Magnus didn't think that Alec would appreciate him cursing his parents, even if it _was_ in self-defense.

Alec didn't say anything, but he slowed down slightly for a moment before nodding.

"Okay," he said, and Magnus wasn't sure if he sounded disappointed or breathless or both. "See you later then."

"…all right," Magnus said, thinking that the phrase "see you later" was hopeful in and of itself. At least Alec was open to seeing him again. But as Alec ran ahead of him, Magnus knew that he couldn't just leave things as they were. Alec had promised to tell his parents the truth, and he'd…what? Encouraged him? Not exactly. All at once, Magnus wanted Alec to know just how badly he wanted to be with him again. Showing vulnerability was, in Magnus's experience, almost never a good idea, but as foolish as he knew it might be, Magnus couldn't resist when he heard demons racing through nearby streets and realized that neither of them might survive the night…

Grabbing Alec by the collar, Magnus managed to stop him and spin him around in one smooth motion. Alec opened his mouth to protest, his expression surprised and a little angry—clearly, he was anxious to check on his family—and Magnus couldn't resist the urge to seize him for a brief, fiery kiss that involved more tongue than finesse, but it was, in Magnus's mind, a good expression of his current state of hopefulness mixed with doubt mixed with fear mixed with love…love for Alec. Just in case one or both of them fell tonight, Magnus was determined to get one last kiss out of the irresistible Shadowhunter.

"For luck," Magnus said, turning away before Alec could recover from his slightly stunned expression. "You'd better live long enough to keep your promise."

Magnus ground his teeth as he took off running in what was admittedly a direction he'd chosen at random, all the while resisting the urge to lick his lips and taste Alec there. To his distinct irritation, he had really and truly fallen in love with someone who didn't seem to reciprocate those feelings. But even if that was the case, Magnus was going to do whatever he could to help Alec in the uncertain times to come…even if helping him meant releasing him from his promise.

_Do I love him enough to give him up, if that's what's best for him? _Magnus wondered. Unsurprisingly, he didn't have an answer to that question. It had been a long day, and now, it was going to be an even longer night.


	13. Chapter 13

Hi everyone! Okay, good news and bad news time: the good news is that after this chapter, there are only two more chapters until the big kiss scene. The bad news is...you still have to wait two more chapters for the aforementioned kiss scene. (Also, today's chapter is a bit short, but in my book, that's really sort of neutral news rather than good or bad news. ) Sorry, but remember that I _am_ evil, and for the next three weeks, at least Magnus and Alec will be together, and they'll have some romantic moments, though they might not realize it at the time. Thanks once again for your reviews, and I'll see you again next Saturday! :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and have you read her posts on Tumblr this week? Ohmygosh, finally some news about the "City of Bones" movie! Just imagine it coming out next year. Imagine it….ooh, it's so pretty in my mind. And "The Dark Artifices" are coming in 2015! Here's to a future of sexy Shadowhunters and even sexier warlocks. :)

_Chapter 13: Alec_

Sitting by the fire after Jace had left with Clary, Alec had the time and inclination to think for the first time since Max's funeral. Simon was with Isabelle, his parents were off grieving in their own way, and all Alec could think was that now, he'd never really get to know his little brother, never find out what sort of person he'd grow up to be, or what kind of Shadowhunter he'd grow up to become. For the first time in his life, Alec felt that all of his training, all his hard work, had been time wasted, in a way, because what was the point of being a powerful Shadowhunter, as talented as his parents and his sister, if you couldn't protect the people closest to you? If you could still lose them in an instant and never get them back?

More than anything, Alec wanted to go look for Magnus. Since the last time they'd been together (not in a romantic way, but in a "killing demons" way), Alec had thought things over, and he could finally see that he wasn't the only one who'd been uncertain about their relationship. Really though, Alec was still adjusting to the idea that he'd actually been hurting Magnus by pushing him away. Magnus, who always seemed so poised and confident, who was powerful and fascinating—how could someone like that really love him, or feel hurt by his rejection?

But after the events of the past few days, Alec was beginning to see that Magnus had doubted that he could love him either, given their difference in age and the scandal it would cause if his family knew. Alec realized that Magnus was willing to do almost anything to keep his secret…even if that meant suffering in silence. It seemed so stupid now, the lengths Alec had gone to to hide who he really was. Jace had been right, of course—they were brothers, they always had been and they always would be, and it hadn't been love for Jace, but rather fear of rejection or discovery that had kept Alec from going after Magnus.

Now Alec knew: there were worse things than being rejected by someone you loved, or having a secret revealed. Those tragedies were nothing compared to losing a loved one entirely, without ever telling them how important they were, and that was why Alec was determined to tell Magnus the truth about how he felt the next time he saw him. He wished he could go out now, find Magnus somehow and just talk to him, talk for hours like they used to, and kiss, and…do everything that they'd wanted to do together. But tonight, someone had to stay in the house, just in case anyone sent a message, or came back with news about what was going to happen next.

Alec wasn't expecting anyone to come home, not after a day like today, which he knew that he'd always remember precisely because he wanted nothing more than to forget it. No, tonight was a night to wander and think, or to grieve however one saw fit. Just in case though, when he went upstairs to bed, Alec kept his bedroom door open, so he'd be sure to hear if someone opened the front door.

Staring up at the ceiling in his room, for a long time, Alec was certain that he was never going to fall asleep. But then, after what seemed like an eternity of staring silently into the darkness, Alec realized that he must be asleep, because Magnus was sitting at the foot of his bed and watching him, his expression both sad and weary.

"Are you awake?" Magnus whispered. "I cast a spell for silence when I went to open the door, but obviously—"

"Obviously I'm asleep, because you're here," Alec said drowsily. Then he threw back the blanket that had been covering him, and Magnus, accepting the silent invitation, climbed into bed beside Alec without speaking. Neither of them spoke as Alec rolled onto his side to get closer to Magnus, or when Magnus turned to wrap his arms around him.

It wasn't, Alec thought, even a remotely erotic dream. They were both fully dressed, and anyway, tonight Alec found that even when the opportunity arose, he had no interest in kissing or doing anything else with any guy, not even Magnus. But it was still one of the best dreams he'd ever had, because Magnus's arms were warm and tight around him, and with his head tucked under the warlock's chin and his arms around the other man's body, Alec could pretend that everything was all right—that as bad as he felt tonight, everything would be okay in the morning. Alec knew it was only a dream, but Magnus's presence alone was infinitely comforting. They both stayed silent, their quiet breathing the only sound in the room, though when Alec finally closed his eyes, he thought he heard Magnus whisper his name, and did he feel the warlock's lips against his forehead…? _"The warlock,"_ Alec thought sleepily._ It never worked, trying to think of him that way. I could never forget about him, not really, no matter how hard I tried. And now I don't want to...though he might like to forget me..._

In the morning, Alec was alone, as he'd known he would be. He knew that he should get up, find Isabelle and the others and find out what was going on, but something stopped him. On the pillow beside him lay a single black hair. That wasn't strange, except that it was…straight. Not wavy, like his own hair, but straight and thick, as if it were coated with a fine sheen of gel. Which was impossible, because Magnus's visit had only been a dream…probably.


	14. Chapter 14

Hi everyone! Sorry that this update is a day late, but I had to work yesterday, and I was a bit too tired to finish this chapter after that. (Saturdays seem to be both busy and plagued by slow computers, so I'm glad that I only work one per month. :)) This week's chapter, which is from both Magnus and Alec's POV, is another short one—sorry (insert evil cackle), and it takes place during "City of Glass." It concerns the scene where Alec supports Clary in front of the Clave, and as proof of her power, she creates a rune that shows everyone the person they love most. :)

And…surprise! As it turns out, this is the last chapter before the big kiss, not the second to last. (Yeah, I reread my outline and realized that I'd miscounted again; in this particular instance, fourteen is sort of a lucky number, though I think fifteen will be even better. :)) Also, as you may be able to guess, there are a couple of direct quotes from "City of Glass" below: Alec's line at the beginning and Maryse's line are both from the book. Anyway, look for Magnus and Alec to finally go public next week, and I'll see you again next weekend! :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare, not I, is the author of "The Mortal Instruments," so she can do as she pleases with Magnus and Alec…though I'm really hoping for some romantic scenes in "City of Lost Souls"! Ah, but before that comes out, I need to finish "Clockwork Prince." (I'm almost done with a book for my book club, and as soon as that's finished, I can read more of CP1 every night. :))

_Chapter 14: Magnus's POV_

"She's not lying," Alec said. "I've seen her create a rune. She even used it on me. It worked."

Gazing around the hall, filled as it was with Shadowhunters, Magnus had to resist the urge to step a bit further way from Alec. In a tense atmosphere like this, it would be so easy to reach out and take Alec's hand without thinking, out of a desire to comfort and support him, but of course, actually giving in to such an impulse would be disastrous… especially with his mother standing so close. Magnus got the impression that if he put out his hand to touch Alec now, Maryse Lightwood might just chop it off.

When Alec had spoken up for Clary, Magnus had felt himself on the verge of positively grinning with pride. He was so impressed that Alec had taken such a risk, and for Clary of all people, who just a few weeks ago, Alec had barely been able to stand. But she was telling the truth (and she _was_ Jace's sister, and therefore practically a sister to him too), so Alec was defending her, though doing so meant challenging people in authority within the Clave. People who would use Alec's secret against him, and the Lightwood family as a whole, if they ever discovered it.

Magnus ignored the Consul's response to Alec's statement—it was old news to him, watching Shadowhunters squabble—but the end of Maryse Lightwood's response to the Consul caught his attention.

"Give the girl a stele and let her create a rune," she was saying.

_ A perfectly reasonable suggestion,_ Magnus thought with a slight smile, _so reasonable that I'll be surprised if the Consul will accept it. He doesn't seem to be a particularly reasonable man…_

Magnus almost whispered his observation to Alec, but thought better of it. Enough people were watching their little group already; three Shadowhunters, a vampire, and a warlock were conspicuous enough without Magnus appearing to whisper some secret in Alec's ear.

Watching Clary as she prepared to draw the rune, Magnus couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy. The poor girl barely understood her ability herself, yet here she was, preparing to exhibit it in front of a crowd of (mostly hostile) strangers, in what might well be a vain hope of preventing them from surrendering to Valentine. The girl was nothing if not brave, but as Clary drew, Magnus couldn't help but wonder how much good her courage could do in the face of stubborn Shadowhunters like the Consul, who wouldn't believe anything that was inconvenient to their conception of the world. Then, clearly, the rune was finished. Magnus stared up at Clary then, wondering what the rune she'd created was supposed to do, because suddenly, he no longer saw Clary when he looked at her. He saw…

_Alec's POV_

Suddenly, it was Magnus, not Clary, who was standing up in front of the Clave. Alec turned to gape at the spot that Magnus had occupied until a split second ago…and was shocked to find him still standing there. Alec looked back and forth between the two Magnuses, and though he could feel his mouth hanging open in shock, he didn't feel awkward or conspicuous by any means; most of the Shadowhunters around him looked equally amazed, and even the Magnus beside him, though his expression was hard to read, seemed more than a little surprised.

"Magnus," Alec whispered, glancing nervously at his mother almost in spite of himself. She didn't seem to hear him though—in fact, she seemed as shocked by Clary's sudden transformation as everyone else. Isabelle too was staring, confused, and Alec wondered briefly what his mother and sister were seeing now. Simon seemed puzzled as well. Could all of them see Magnus too? No, that couldn't be—other people in the hall had shouted out names, and some looked stricken now, as if they were staring at a ghost…

"Yes, Alec?" Magnus murmured. He too seemed aware of Alec's mother, standing just a few yards away.

Alec looked up at the other Magnus again. "What the hell is going on?"

"It's the rune that Clary just drew," Magnus said thoughtfully. "It's making all of us see some kind of illusion."

"Yeah, I figured that," Alec said, his voice rising slightly above a whisper in his exasperation. His mother, luckily, still seemed oblivious. "But why is it making me see you?"

Magnus glanced at him, and for just a moment, there was something pained and unguarded about his expression. "You see me?" Then he looked back at himself (or rather, Alec told himself impatiently, Clary _disguised_ as Magnus), and frowned. "Interesting. I see you, actually. I wonder what that means…"

Alec stared at Magnus—the real Magnus—and he wasn't sure why, but for the first time in weeks, he felt hopeful about whatever was going to happen between them next.


	15. Chapter 15

Hi everyone! Here, at long last, is the kiss chapter! I think it turned out pretty well, but then, nothing can match my initial delight when I was reading "City of Glass" and Alec finally kissed Magnus in public! That might still be my favorite scene in the series…but I'm hoping for lots of scenes that will challenge that coveted title in "City of Lost Souls." Thanks as always for your reviews, and I'll see you again next Saturday! (We're almost to lemons, promise. Just a couple more chapters after this…:))

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and I'm really getting into "Clockwork Prince"! It's so good, I can't wait to finish it…but I know (from the spoiler-y place that is the internet) that I'm going to be sad/crazed/really impatient for CP2 when I do.

_Chapter 15: Magnus's POV_

Magnus stepped away from Simon and the Lightwoods as soon as the opportunity presented itself, and then, after speaking with Clary, he withdrew to a quiet corner of the Accords Hall to watch whatever might happen next. His brief encounter with Clary had depressed him more than he cared to admit. It was ridiculous, standing around moping like this, but the fact remained that approaching Alec under these circumstances could only cause trouble.

He sighed wearily. For hundreds of years, the act of causing people trouble had very rarely bothered him. Then again, he seldom grew close enough to people for his presence to become a burden. It had happened so quickly with Alec that Magnus hadn't really had time to pull away, never mind that recent circumstances had made it impossible for them to effectively avoid one another.

Maybe after the coming battle, Alec could go back to the way things had been before. Magnus knew that he couldn't, but perhaps Alec was young and resilient enough that he could manage to forget their brief affair. As long as he could keep himself and his friends and family out of the sort of danger they'd encountered lately, there would be no need for he and Magnus to see each other. Magnus felt a little hollow at the thought of Alec disappearing like that—of giving back the key and never coming to his apartment again. In his current melancholy mood, even the thought of Chairman Meow's accusing expression was enough to further depress him.

"Well, what did you expect?" he would say to the cat when he got home. "He's a Shadowhunter and a Lightwood besides. He can't afford to get mixed up with me. I'd only spoil things for him if people found out about us. So, it's just you, me, and the television again, and you might as well get used to it."

Magnus sighed again. Clearly, he and Alec were through; only single people composed long monologues to their cats. Scanning the crowd, Magnus willed himself to make his face expressionless when he saw Alec across the hall, but suddenly, it became impossible to conceal his surprise, because Alec was moving toward him.

For an instant, Magnus considered leaving, just making his way out of the hall and disappearing before Alec could get to him. He could push people out of his way, if necessary. But because it was Alec, Magnus found he couldn't bear to move away from him. Even if Alec was only coming to officially break up with him, the temptation to speak to him, to be close to him one more time, was impossible to resist.

"Magnus," Alec said quietly, looking a little shy but mostly just determined. "Hi."

"…hi," Magnus said, still feeling shocked. "Alec, what are you—"

"Do you want to fight together?" Alec said quickly. "If I draw Clary's rune on you, we'll be partners for the battle."

Magnus was, for once, speechless. Almost. "I…" _I'm gobsmacked,_ Magnus thought, but couldn't bring himself to say—he was too surprised to joke even. "Alexander, are you sure that that would be wise? Your parents—"

"Other than thinking my parents will object, do _you_ have any objections?" Alec asked, smiling that sweet, shy smile that had so often made Magnus want to start kissing him and never stop.

Magnus shook his head mutely. He was afraid that if he opened his mouth, he'd grab Alec and actually attempt the insane kissing plan.

"Then give me your hand," Alec said gently. Magnus did, but while Alec drew the rune, Magnus watched his face, ignoring the twinge of curiosity he felt at the thought of watching the stele move across his skin. Though the rune was supposedly harmless, Magnus wondered if he would have trusted anyone else to do this.

"It won't hurt you," Alec promised as he drew, his hair in his eyes—obviously, he'd taken Magnus's silence as a sign of apprehension. "There. Does it feel all right?"

"Fine," Magnus said quietly, struggling to keep his voice and expression under control. "Alexander, why are you doing this? Is it really worth the risk?"

"I want to be with you, Magnus," Alec said, finally meeting his eyes as he put away the stele. "And not just in this battle, I mean."

"Alec," Magnus said quietly, glancing at the closest knot of Shadowhunters—had they heard him say that? "Don't—"

"I've been such an idiot," Alec said firmly before Magnus could say anything else. "And I'm sorry for taking so long to say so, and for putting you through so much, and…I just hope you can forgive me, even though I can't really think of a good reason why you should. But I…I still love you Magnus. I didn't ever really stop, but I…got scared. And now I can see how stupid that was. I mean, I've been learning to fight demons my whole life—if I'm not afraid to do that, why the hell should I be afraid of people knowing who I really am, or who I really love?"

"Alec," Magnus said weakly, barely able to believe that he was really hearing all this. "…your parents can see us."

"Good," Alec said, taking a step closer, which effectively disabled Magnus's ability to think, or breathe. "It's time they knew the truth about me…and about us." And then Alec kissed him. It was not a chaste kiss either.

Magnus stood stock-still, too amazed to move as Alec's mouth moved against his, as his arms wound around him. He was dimly aware of people staring at them, of shocked spoken and whispered conversations going on all over the hall, and all Magnus could think was that those people were wrong to think that _they_ were surprised; they didn't know the meaning of word. No one could be as amazed as Magnus was at that moment, and as it happened, he was so incredulous that he didn't even manage to return the kiss before Alec pulled away.

"Was that okay?" Alec said, slightly sheepishly. He was blushing now, and he was careful to keep his eyes on Magnus's—Magnus guessed that he'd be risking instant death by mortification if he looked at anyone else just now. "I'm sort of…out of practice. And I've never been very good with the whole public display thing…"

"…did that really just happen, or have I finally gone irredeemably mad?" Magnus demanded, suddenly unable to keep himself from grinning like a maniac.

"It happened," Alec said, smiling more genuinely now, and Magnus was pleased to see that he looked less embarrassed now. In fact, he actually looked a bit smug. "I surprised you, didn't I?"

"If I were human, I think you would have startled me into a fatal heart attack," Magnus admitted. "As it is though, you've reminded me to never underestimate your kissing prowess. You're so quiet that I should have known you'd sneak up on me like that one day."

Alec grinned too now, oblivious to their audience. "Isn't there some saying about never trusting the quiet ones?"

"There are lots of sayings about that," Magnus murmured, leaning forward and kissing Alec just once, very briefly. Mercifully, the Lightwoods seemed as startled as everyone else in the hall, so they made no move (that Magnus could see) to dash over and decapitate him for taking such liberties with their son. "I hope you realize that if we survive this, Alec Lightwood, I'm hoping to do a great deal more than kiss you."

Alec blushed again, but he kept grinning. "I'm kind of counting on that, actually. I really don't want to die without…without being with you in _every_ way. So we've just got to make sure we don't die. It's…just a little extra motivation."

Magnus leaned his forehead against Alec's, and in that moment, it was easy to pretend that they were the only two people in the hall. "Now that we're a 'we' again, Alexander, I have no doubt that we'll be all right. If our combined power isn't enough, then I think we can count on our frustrated lust to put us over the top."

Alec snorted with laughter, and as Magnus wrapped an arm around his shoulders, guiding him toward the hall's exit, he thought that there was no sweeter sound on earth, and no better feeling than having Alec beside him. They would wait outside until it was time for the battle to begin, and for a few minutes at least, safe in each other's arms, they might forget the terror that was coming. Better still, they could take comfort in the knowledge that at least they would face the coming battle together.


	16. Chapter 16

Yay, over 100 reviews! Thanks, everyone! (Reviews always make me so very happy. :)) This week's chapter takes place after the battle in "City of Glass," so today, Magnus and Alec are just going to be celebrating being alive and making plans for when they get home to New York, (at which time lemons will finally commence :)). Thanks as always for your reviews, and I'll see you again next Saturday!

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments," and did you hear that the "City of Bones" movie has a release date? Assuming it doesn't change, I can hardly wait for August of 2013! :)

_Chapter 16: Alec's POV_

When the battle was finally over, Magnus and Alec stood for several seconds in stunned silence. One minute, they'd been fighting for their lives, hacking demons apart or magically making them explode respectively, and then just as suddenly as they'd arrived, the demons were fleeing, and near silence fell over Brocelind Plain. Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike seemed too shocked to even celebrate at the moment; most people stood and watched the demons flee, or dashed off to kill the stragglers, while others began to try and help the wounded. The sudden quiet after the noise of battle seemed almost too incredible to be trusted just yet, and from where Alec was standing, it seemed that no one was speaking above a murmur. Then again, maybe it was just his ears, which still seemed to be ringing from the fighting.

Alec turned away from the sight of fleeing demons and looked at Magnus. They were both covered in blood from minor wounds and the ichor of slain demons, Alec was so exhausted that he barely had the strength to put away his bow, and when Magnus met his eyes, he looked as tired as Alec had ever seen him. But he was smiling. And suddenly, in a movement so quick that Alec barely registered his own part in it, they had seized each other and were kissing frantically, their arms tight around each other, and Alec found that he didn't care about the stink of ichor, or the cuts and burns that had had him wincing in pain a moment ago. All that mattered was that he was alive, Magnus was alive, and that they were kissing, and there was nothing to stop them—

—save for the annoying human quirk of needing air to live. Magnus pulled away at almost the same moment Alec did, both of them gasping for breath, and then they both laughed breathlessly and embraced again.

"Magnus," Alec whispered against the other man's shoulder, "we're not dead."

"No," Magnus agreed, "it seems we're very much alive."

Alec touched his parabartai rune and took a deep breath. Something about it…but Alec was too tired to figure out the feeling he'd had a few minutes before. It had been as if…well, he'd been certain that something terrible had happened to Jace. But now, either because of some real event (perhaps Jace had received a timely iratze that had healed some grievous injury?), or because of Magnus's proximity, Alec felt certain that everything was all right now. Jace, wherever he was, was in one piece. Now he needed to find his parents, and Isabelle. Clary and Simon and Luke too—there were what seemed like a surprising number of people who he needed to know were all right before he could really celebrate this victory.

"I need to find…" Alec said, trailing off when he pulled away and met Magnus's eyes again. Those cat's eyes were so distracting—for as long as they'd known each other, Alec had found that he always risked losing his train of thought when he looked into Magnus's eyes, especially if it was dark, as it was now, when they seemed to shine with a kind of mesmerizing light that shifted as Magnus moved, like moonlight on water. Almost reflexively, Alec leaned closer to take a better look at the dilated vertical pupils, fascinated as he always was by Magnus's warlock mark. It was strange to think that he'd once been unnerved by these eyes, which now seemed so beautiful—

Magnus kissed him again while he was distracted. Alec, who couldn't decide if lust or exhaustion was going to win the struggle currently going on inside him, leaned back against the tree they'd been standing under when the battle had ended, and Magnus, either out of sheer longing or a desire to rest a little too, leaned into Alec, pinning him to the tree as his lips traced the lines of his face before returning to his mouth. Alec tasted blood and sweat when Magnus kissed him now, and though a part of him wanted to lay down in the grass and pull Magnus on top of him, regardless of what happened or who might see them under the shadows of the tree, he wasn't sure that would be wise. Alec was fairly certain that if he laid down now, even with Magnus spread out on top of him to tempt him, he'd fall asleep instantly.

"Sorry," Alec said weakly, pulling away, "but I really need to see if everyone's all right before I pass out."

"You can continue gazing longingly into my eyes later, Alexander," Magnus promised with a smile. "Now, go find your family, and then—"

"Where are you staying?" Alec asked abruptly. "Can I…I mean, it's going to be morning soon anyway, but after I find everyone…"

Magnus grinned. "I'd be happy to share my borrowed bed with you, Alexander, but I'm warning you right now that nothing other than sleeping is going to happen in it. I want to wait until we're back in New York before we do anything more. At least there I've already got soundproof spells in place, and with the wards I already have up, it will be simplicity itself to make sure that no one will interrupt us. Here, I can't be so certain."

Alec swallowed hard. A month ago, he would have been more than a little nervous at the thought of being alone with Magnus in a soundproof apartment capable of warding off intruders. Now, all he felt was excitement. A lot of excitement, actually.

Magnus, who was holding him close enough to feel exactly how excited he was, chuckled darkly. "Sorry, but we're going to have to save that for later, dear. I can see your mother coming this way."

Alec cursed and let go of Magnus, all the while trying to think about things that didn't involve Magnus and a bed. Demon toenails. The greasy hair of every ifrit Alec had ever seen. That weird drink with tapioca pearls in it that Magnus had made him try once. Isabelle's most recent cooking experiment, which had been the color and consistency of bile…yes, these were all distinctly disgusting, and more importantly, unsexy things.

"Kidding, actually," Magnus said, grinning wickedly. "I can see her, but I don't think she's spotted us yet. See?"

Alec looked where Magnus was pointing, and sure enough, there was his mother, looking, like everyone else, both exhausted and relieved that it was all over now. She was helping a fairy to his feet, and Alec could see his father too, talking with a Shadowhunter he didn't know and a werewolf, someone from Luke's pack. Alec sighed, happier than he could say that they were both all right.

"Can you walk yet?" Magnus asked with a smirk, bumping Alec's shoulder playfully.

Alec sighed. "Yeah, I think so. Come on, let's go help out with the wounded before I pass out from frustration."

Magnus chuckled. "At the risk of teasing you further tonight, Alec, I think I can safely promise that you won't have to remain frustrated for much longer. All this is going to take some time to clean up, but in a few days, we'll be back in New York, and then…well, then we can just relax and enjoy ourselves. Take some time for just the two of us."

Alec groaned quietly, closing his eyes so he wouldn't see Magnus standing so close in all his unnervingly desirable glory. "Demon teeth, demon claws, demon earwax," he muttered frantically.

"I'm hoping," Magnus said with a snicker, "that you're making a list of things that you promise never to bring into my apartment."

"I am _trying_ to think about things that will…calm me down, and you're really not helping right now," Alec said through gritted teeth, and though the sound of Magnus's laughter was like something warm and enticing that Alec suddenly wanted to devour, he kept his eyes shut until he felt more...relaxed.

"Am I…decent?" he asked awkwardly.

"I will refrain from comment on the grounds that anything I say to you just now will, I suspect, be construed as an attempt to arouse you," Magnus said, trying and failing to look innocent. "Now, shall we go be heroic?"

Alec nodded, trying heroically not to think about everything he hoped would happen when they returned to New York as he turned to face his parents. "Yeah. Let's go."


	17. Chapter 17

Good news, everyone! This is chapter seventeen, and in chapter eighteen, at long last…there will be a lemon! However, as is often the case, there is bad news to accompany the good: you aren't getting chapter eighteen next week. You will get it the week after that. I know, I'm not really thrilled about missing a week either, but full disclosure: my mom is visiting me next weekend, and I would prefer to not have to edit a steamy sex scene between a gorgeous warlock and a handsome young Shadowhunter…with my mother present in my apartment. I hope you understand. :) So, I hope that you enjoy this chapter (which is long, but not very fanservice-y), and I'll see you again in two weeks. Sorry again—I'll miss you! :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and I'm finally almost done with "Clockwork Prince." Argh, but I'm already starting to get impatient for "Clockwork Princess"! (I'm just going to end up rereading "City of Bones" after I finish "City of Lost Souls" in May…:))

_Chapter Seventeen: Alec's POV_

Before the celebration began, while Alec waited for Magnus to arrive, he sat with Isabelle and the others and recalled the conversation he'd had with his parents earlier that day. Everyone had been preparing for the evening's festivities, but while Isabelle had taken ages to get ready, Alec had taken two minutes to put on a sweater and walk downstairs, which was how he'd found himself sitting alone in the living room with his father. It was the first time they'd been alone since Alec's very public display with Magnus in the Accords Hall, and while Alec was trying to get up the nerve to say something, to explain, his father said,

"So, how long have you been seeing Magnus Bane?"

Alec had been shocked. His father hadn't sounded angry or judgmental. Just…curious.

"Um…a few weeks," Alec said slowly, hardly able to believe that they were really having this conversation. "We…met at a party."

His father had nodded. "I wondered. Well, you certainly gave your mother and I a surprise. You might have mentioned it to us before we saw you two in the Accords Hall together. When I was your age, I think I would have died of embarrassment before I ever let that many people see me kissing anyone."

"Sorry," Alec said, shocked to be apologizing not for being gay, but for kissing his boyfriend in a dramatic public gesture. "Um…us kids today…we're really into public displays."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm old," his father conceded, rolling his eyes. "I get it, it's not a big deal to people your age."

"Actually, I think I did almost die of embarrassment," Alec admitted. "I'm not big on PDA either, so don't worry, it probably won't happen again."

"Great, there's even an acronym for it," his father muttered, but he was smiling. "Well, at least now maybe Aline's mother will stop pestering your mother to set you two up on a date."

"Robert, is Alec with you?" Alec's mother called then, just before entering the room. Immediately, she fixed Alec with a stern look.

"Alec. Magnus is a bit old for you, isn't he?"

"Um, sorry, but mom, can we go back to the part where you know that I'm dating a warlock…and a guy, and the thing you're worried about is how old he is?" Alec demanded. "I mean…aren't you mad?"

"Well, I'm a little mad you didn't tell us," his mother said with a frown. "Why didn't you, Alec?"

"Because…Shadowhunters aren't supposed to…I mean, the Clave frowns on this, don't they? Dating a guy _and_ a Downworlder?"

"We're your parents, not the Clave," his mother said, looking slightly bewildered. "Alec, as long as you're happy, we're happy. I don't really mind who you date…of course, with Magnus Bane, there's quite an age difference, but…" she trailed off, still struggling between being supportive and expressing her disapproval…at the age difference. Meanwhile, Alec was left to process the fact that he apparently wasn't about to be disowned.

"You're happy if I'm happy?" he said weakly. "That's it? I was expecting…more yelling."

Suddenly, his mother looked sympathetic, even slightly pained. "Alec, how could you think that? You're my son. I'll always love you, no matter what."

"Even if she isn't quite sure how she feels about your boyfriend yet," his father said quietly, clapping him on the back, an action that spoke louder than words. He was still smiling too: amazingly, his father wasn't disgusted by him, didn't think he was disgracing the family, and Alec had to wonder if he might be hallucinating. Had his father really just made a joke about 'his boyfriend'? Alec had never been able to imagine either of his parents ever uttering those words in any context, positive or negative.

"We'd like to meet him officially, of course," his mother said suddenly, looking determined.

"Meet him?" Alec repeated blankly. "Mom, you've known Magnus for years."_ You've known him longer than I have,_ Alec thought but didn't point out.

"Not as your boyfriend," his mother said, and hearing a sentence referring to Magnus as his boyfriend for the second time in a minute must have shocked him into temporary insanity, because he'd agreed to introduce them to Magnus at the celebration.

_Magnus's POV_

"Alec?" Magnus asked, taking in the distant expression on that beloved face with a smile. "Are you in there, or has your brain taken a brief holiday?"

Alec blinked. "Sorry. What about my brain?"

"Nothing," Magnus said, kissing him on the cheek. "How did things go with your parents?"

Magnus tensed slightly as he waited for Alec's response. More than once since Alec had announced that he was going to talk to his parents about what they'd witnessed in the Accords Hall, he'd imagined what old Benedict Lightwood's reaction might have been if his son Gabriel had announced that he was dating a warlock a little over a hundred years ago, and not a female one either. Such a scene would not have been pretty.

Alec still looked slightly dazed as he spoke. "They…want to meet you. They weren't even mad. My mother just said that if I'm happy, then they're happy."

Magnus grinned; he was glad that Alec wasn't the only unconventional Lightwood. "Now _that_ is a very pleasant surprise."

Alec nodded, smiling faintly. "I think I'm still in shock. I guess my mom isn't sure if she approves of you or not, but not because of the obvious—she just thinks you might be too old for me."

Magnus feigned horror, even as he threw his arm around Alec's shoulders. "Sir, you wound me! Too _old_?"

"She's the one who _maybe_ thinks so, not me," Alec pointed out, and Magnus smiled again when he felt Alec cautiously slide his arm around his waist. "And my father actually referred to you as my boyfriend—in a neutral tone too. They both did. I was afraid that my head was going to explode."

"I'm very happy to hear that your parents are actually lovely people," Magnus said cheerfully. Though he wasn't quite as shocked as Alec apparently was, he was still very pleased to find that history wasn't repeating itself in this instance; apparently the Lightwoods of today weren't nearly as arrogant, intolerant, or vindictive as those of yesteryear. "What made you so certain they'd react badly, anyway?"

"I was just always sure that they'd be angry if they found out, because that's how other Shadowhunters seem to react to the news that one of us is gay," Alec said thoughtfully. "I never heard either of my parents say anything about it—and no one ever came right out and said 'being gay is terrible' or anything—but I remember when I was a kid, in Idris once, at a party, everyone was discussing someone's son, who'd left the Clave to be with a mundane. A mundane, _and_ a guy."

"Ah," Magnus said. "I remember hearing about that boy." At the time, Magnus had thought that the boy's family had been angry, at least in part, because it was clear that their only son and heir didn't want to produce any children of his own. In a world where there were fewer Shadowhunters with every passing year, Magnus could understand why leaving the ranks of the Nephilim to be with a mundane with whom he wouldn't be having children would cause an uproar.

Alec nodded grimly. "Then some old guy from the Clave said something about the shame that the son had brought on his family, and everyone just agreed with him like it was nothing, like it was obvious that he'd done something terrible. I heard people complaining about how he wouldn't leave any heirs, and at least if he'd left the Clave for a woman, there was a chance that one of his children could have become one of us someday. So…I just assumed that my parents would feel the same if I ever told them the truth. But now...well, I've never been so happy to have been totally wrong about something."

"Well, I'm happy that it was just a misunderstanding," Magnus said firmly, not saying what he was thinking: now that the Lightwoods had lost one child, of course they wanted their remaining children be happy. Poor Max Lightwood would never have that chance again. "I'm going to enjoy meeting your parents that much more now that I know that they aren't, in fact, the bigots you feared they might be."

"I guess a lot of Shadowhunters really do feel that way though," Alec said quietly, staring at the ground. "People keep looking at us, and not all of them look too thrilled."

Magnus frowned and hugged Alec closer. "Alec, it's always been my firm belief that this sort of thing is no one's business but the parties involved. And when we get back to New York, I'm not going to let anyone but me look at you for a while."

He felt Alec shiver a little at the thought of _that_, and they both smiled again. After a brief kiss, they joined the others in conversation for a few moments, until Alec stood up—clearly, his parents had arrived.

"Don't worry, I'll behave," Magnus promised quietly as the Lightwoods approached.

Alec looked slightly guilty. "I wasn't—I would never tell you to _behave_."

"I know," Magnus said fondly. "But I know you were worried about it. Honestly, I'll be on my best behavior."

"Hello, Magnus," Maryse said as soon as they were in earshot. "It's good to see you again." She seemed to mean it too, Magnus noted with some surprise, though given the way she put her arm around Alec, it was clear that what she'd told him was true. She just wanted him to be happy, even though Alec's idea of happiness apparently involved dating a warlock several centuries his senior.

"And you, Maryse," Magnus said, shaking her hand. "Robert, it's been a long time."

"Magnus," Robert said, nodding. Alec knew that Robert was a man of few words, but he was a man who could be relied upon to act when he saw that a situation warranted it. Therefore, the fact that Robert Lightwood was shaking his hand and not attempting to cause him grave bodily harm encouraged him.

"I was very sorry to hear about your loss," Magnus said quietly, abruptly feeling somber. It wasn't the most tactful thing to say, given how abruptly he'd said it, but it was the thing he'd wanted to say to the Lightwoods ever since Alec had told him about what had happened...ever since Magnus had woken the night after the battle, in spite of his exhaustion, to find Alec in bed beside him shaking, gripped by a nightmare, only to have him wake and start to cry when he realized that it hadn't been a dream, and his little brother was really gone...There were no words to express the sorrow of that loss.

Maryse nodded and squeezed Alec's shoulder, while Alec and Robert both looked down at their shoes. Their grief over losing Max was still too big for any of them to speak of, and though Magnus could not remember his own family with much fondness, when he looked at the Lightwoods, he both envied and pitied them for the closeness they shared.

"Alec said that the two of you were thinking of doing some traveling," Maryse said, sounding mostly like her usual businesslike self when she spoke after a pause.

Magnus inclined his head politely. "That was our intention, provided that the Institute in New York can spare him for a while."

"There's a lot of work to be done when we get back to New York, but provided you're willing to come back as soon as it becomes necessary, we don't see a problem with the two of you taking a trip."

"As long as you stay out of any countries you've been banned from," Robert said quietly, giving Magnus an amused look.

Alec looked surprised; he clearly hadn't dared to hope that his parents would really say yes. "Really? Are you sure?"

Maryse smiled."Just be sure you check in every now and then. Keep your phone with you. And be careful."

"And..." Robert prompted gently.

"And have fun," Maryse said, rolling her eyes as she squeezed Alec's shoulder again.

Now it was Magnus's turn to smile. Without question, he and Alec were going to have a lovely time traveling together. He just wasn't going to tell Alec's parents how much fun they intended to have, or what sort of fun they had in mind...


	18. Chapter 18

Hi everyone! Here, at last, is the first lemon to appear in "You and I"! :) Sorry it took forever, but I hope you enjoy it; it certainly ended up being rather long, but I like how this chapter turned out. (And look for more lemons in the future—not every chapter, but after the drama between Magnus and Alec that goes on in "City of Fallen Angels," I'll definitely write some more lemons—I'm hoping for at least some allusions to such in "City of Lost Souls." :)) Thanks for your reviews and I'll see you again next week!

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and I just finished "Clockwork Prince"! Now, as predicted, I can't wait to read "Clockwork Princess," but of course, in just a few days, I'll be able to read "City of Lost Souls," so that's pretty awesome. :) Bring on the Malec fanservice! :)

Chapter Eighteen

_Magnus's POV_

Magnus was careful to display nothing but relaxed cheerfulness as he opened the portal that took him and Alec back to New York. When Alec first saw the familiar skyline, he seemed slightly puzzled. Puzzled was better than panicky though, so Magnus was pleased that Alec seemed so at ease, relatively speaking. Magnus, meanwhile, was having a difficult time thinking about anything but sex, but he was determined to conceal that fact from the lovely blue-eyed boy beside him. Magnus was determined to make what was coming as perfect as he could for Alec, and that meant reigning in his own appetites for as long as possible.

"Weren't we going to travel for a while?" Alec asked, following Magnus up the familiar steps to his apartment.

Magnus smiled. "We certainly are, but I thought we'd begin our little world tour with a quick stop here. It's the last place on earth where anyone would think we'd go, because it seems too obvious a choice of destination."

"Okay…" Alec said slowly. "But who do you think is going to come looking for us?"

"No one, probably," Magnus said brightly, "but I want to be sure I have you all to myself, Alexander. Speaking of which, where's your cell phone?"

Alec pulled his phone out of his pocket and showed it to Magnus.

"Good," Magnus said, and with an easy smile, he snatched the phone out of Alec's hand and threw it as hard as he could into the distance.

"Hey!" Alec said, sounding more shocked than angry.

"Don't worry," Magnus said smugly, the phone reappearing in his hand in a shower of blue sparks. "I was just demonstrating what I'll do if this infernal thing ever rings at an inopportune moment ever again."

"Here," Alec said, taking the phone back and turning it off. "I—I remember what happened last time too, so let's…avoid that."

"Then let's go inside and lock the door before your brother can materialize to interrupt us again," Magnus said, gently taking Alec's hand and pulling him up the steps. He seemed a little embarrassed now, but still relatively calm.

"It's not like he did it on purpose. I mean, he doesn't usually call me asking for blood," Alec pointed out, but he followed Magnus into the building and up the stairs willingly enough. For a moment, Magnus wondered if he might actually be more nervous about this than Alec was. But then he felt Alec's fingers shaking slightly, and Magnus squeezed his hand.

"Alec," Magnus said gently, stopping at the top of the stairs, "It's—"

"I'm not nervous," Alec said quickly—far too quickly for a person who really wasn't nervous. "I'm just…um—"

"Nervous?" Magnus prompted, smiling kindly. He could hear that the usual joking note was absent from his voice. "That's fine, Alec. So am I."

"…why?" Alec muttered, staring down at the worn landing they stood on.

Magnus let go of Alec's hand and instead slid his arms around Alec's waist. "I'm nervous because I love you, and now that we've waited this long, I want to do this properly."

"How do we do that?" Alec wondered quietly.

Magnus shrugged. "We'll go slowly. And I'll make sure it feels good. That's my job for tonight, and I intend to see it through."

Alec nodded. "Okay. And…I love you too." He still looked nervous, but he put his arms around Magnus's neck, and when Magnus leaned forward to kiss him, he tasted like a mix of fear and desire, and he wasn't the first one to pull away to catch his breath. No, Alec was scared, but he was ready too. Magnus knew that from the eager look in his eyes, and the fact that he had not, as yet, tried to run away. Magnus didn't think he had any interest in trying, either.

Magnus did his best to keep the impromptu bout of kissing light and gentle—after all, they were still standing outside the door to his apartment. As Magnus finally drew back, Alec opened his mouth to say something, but just then, a door downstairs slammed. Alec cursed and jumped, and Magnus immediately wished a multitude of unspeakable horrors upon the door slammer. Alec was nervous enough without the addition of sudden loud noises.

"Let's continue this somewhere more private," he said gently, opening the door and pulling Alec inside. Instantly, Chairman Meow was there to greet them, mewing and rubbing against their legs happily.

"And some people say that cats are heartless little monsters," Magnus said, smiling as Alec picked up the cat, who purred and licked his hand. "Of course, I've said the same myself on those unfortunate occasions when I've awoken to find the Chairman asleep on my face."

"He's happy to see us," Alec said with a smile as Chairman Meow snuggled in his arms, purring furiously.

"Either that or he's a very convincing liar, but I'm inclined to believe him judging by his volume alone," Magnus said, scratching the cat's belly fondly.

"How have you been feeding him while you've been gone?" Alec wondered, rubbing slowly behind the Chairman's ears.

"Actually, I asked a friend to come by and feed him," Magnus said. "The Chairman's digestion is disturbed when I suddenly make food magically appear in his bowl from thousands of miles away. Somehow, he can tell the difference between magically delivered food and manually delivered food. It's quite a singular talent, really, but of course, most cats have a special knack for being picky…"

Magnus realized that he was babbling, but Alec didn't seem to mind. Holding Chairman Meow seemed to have calmed him down a bit, and he actually grinned as the cat nipped playfully at his fingers. Magnus tried not to sigh—clearly, he would not be getting Alec into bed for at least a little while longer. _I am going to be patient_, Magnus told himself sternly.

"The Nephilim aren't much for pets, are they?" Magnus said, suddenly trying to imagine the many Shadowhunters he'd known over the years playing with a dog or petting a cat. With some of them, the image wasn't far-fetched, but with others, it certainly was.

"I think it's seen as being a bit frivolous by some families," Alec said with a shrug. "I mean, lots of Shadowhunters have pets—even Jace did when he was younger—but the people who run Institutes usually don't. I guess people think it might seem too informal or something. Church is a special case, I guess, because he's been around so long that no one even questions him anymore."

Magnus nodded absently. "Yes. That old cat is something."

With a parting pat, Alec set Chairman Meow down, then straightened up and looked at Magnus. Then, with his usual frankness, he said, "can we go to your room now?"

Magnus raised his eyebrows. "Yes. Yes, we can do that. If you—if you feel like it."

Alec smiled shyly. "Yeah, I do. When I'm anxious about something, or if I don't know how to do something, I usually try to face it and figure it out as soon as I can. If we hadn't been…interrupted before, I wouldn't have had time to get so nervous."

Magnus smiled and took Alec's hand again. "As I said before, I'm nervous too, so we're not going to worry about that. However, in the spirit of wishing to avoid interruptions," he said, picking up Chairman Meow, "we're going to lock a certain cat in the kitchen until further notice."

"Aww," Alec said, chuckling sympathetically as Chairman Meow hissed at Magnus, who tossed him unceremoniously into the kitchen and slammed the door. "Is that really necessary?"

"Until you've been bothered by a cat while you're trying to have sex with someone, you can't know just how irritating it can be," Magnus said firmly. There was food and water in the kitchen, plus a litter box, so the Chairman could stay there indefinitely. That thought pleased Magnus considerably, because he hoped that he and Alec were both going to be distracted for a while. "It's even worse to have a cat walk in on you during sex," he continued, leading Alec to the bedroom. "They give you this sort of accusing, condescending look. It's equal parts strange and horrible somehow."

"Huh," Alec said, abruptly looking pale again now that they were actually standing in the bedroom. "Okay. So…"

Magnus smiled fondly at him—he didn't feel impatient now; rather, he felt a strange sort of tenderness that he hadn't felt for any lover in a long time, or perhaps he'd never felt this way before at all. "Alec, just stand there for a minute. You can relax—all we'll do is hold hands for the time being, all right?"

Alec nodded, looking a little less panicky, but then his eyes widened as Magnus tugged his hand, which he was still holding, up to his lips. Magnus kissed each of Alec's fingers in turn, smiling against Alec's thumb when he heard Alec sigh quietly. Magnus stepped closer to him then, so he could lean his forehead against Alec's, and for a few moments, they just stood that way, each listening to the other inhale and exhale.

"I love you," Magnus murmured again, saying it more seriously than he had before, and meaning it, which pained him a little, because there was the future to think about, and a future with Alec was tenuous, fleeting—

"I love you too," Alec said a little breathlessly, and they both moved to close the distance between them.

_Alec's POV_

The kiss was slow and gentle at first. Magnus was the only person that Alec had ever kissed, and he wondered if kissing was the same for other people, or if the way they kissed was somehow unique. He always felt nervous at first, but after a few seconds of feeling Magnus's arms around him, and his mouth against his, then Alec would inevitably begin to lean into him, the taste and smell of Magnus surrounding him, somehow soothing him and tempting him simultaneously, and this time was no exception. As always, it was surprisingly easy to forget whatever was worrying him as soon as Magnus touched him…even now, when Magnus touching him should have made him nervous, because he didn't know how to do what he wanted to do with Magnus, and what if he was terrible at it, and what if—?

Magnus eased Alec's mouth open with a subtle motion of his lips and tongue, and Alec felt his panic ease again—after all, just a few weeks ago, he hadn't known how to do this either, and now, there was almost nothing he enjoyed more. Magnus hadn't given any indication that Alec was bad at kissing—on the contrary, as Alec slid his hands up into Magnus's hair and pulled his face more firmly against his own, Magnus groaned quietly, and suddenly, Alec wasn't afraid. Instead, he was desperate to get closer to Magnus, to press himself against him and finally, _finally_ see how far this feeling of wanting would take them.

Magnus guided him carefully toward the bed. Neither of them seemed to feel any inclination to stop kissing, so Magnus simply walked backward, pulling Alec along with him by sliding his hands into the back pockets of his faded jeans. Then, because Alec was so consumed by what they were doing, he barely felt surprised when Magnus suddenly sat down on the bed, guiding Alec down so that he was suddenly in Magnus's lap.

They continued kissing, but Alec abruptly felt more than a little impatient. Sitting in Magnus's lap made it obvious that Magnus was just as hard as he was, and the tightness in his jeans suddenly felt confining rather than sexy. Magnus pulled away from Alec's mouth then—in this position, Alec was taller than he was, so Alec stared downward for a change as Magnus chose a spot on his neck and began to kiss and suck at it frantically. Alec gasped at that—the pressure against his neck seemed to send a surge of desire directly to his groin, and he shifted in Magnus's lap, trying to relieve some of the ache.

"Lift up your arms," Magnus whispered against his collar bone, and Alec did, shifting in anticipation again as he felt Magnus grab the bottom of his shirt and pull it up. Then it was over his head, and Magnus was licking and nipping all over his chest, tracing marks and scars with his tongue, and then he was sucking one of Alec's nipples into his mouth while he teased the other with his fingertips.

Alec shuddered and moaned quietly—he was so breathless that the sound was little more than an agonized exhalation—_when's he going to—? _And then Magnus was yanking off his own shirt and kissing Alec again, their chests pressed together with only a fine sheen of sweat between them. Suddenly, to Alec's shock, Magnus was lifting him off his lap and turning him so that he was sitting on the bed beside him.

"Lie down," Magnus said gently, and then he grinned. "Please." Alec did so immediately, trying not to look at the bulge in his jeans or the similar state that Magnus was in. Rather than feeling embarrassed, the fact that he and Magnus were like this, that this was really happening, was almost unbearably sexy, and after dreaming about it for so long, Alec really wanted it to last more than five seconds…

Magnus maneuvered him so that he was lying in the center of the bed, and as soon as Alec felt Magnus's tongue touch his chest again, he had to bite his lip to keep from begging him to do something, anything, several inches lower. Once again, some distant part of his brain was able to register the irony of the situation: a few minutes ago, he'd been afraid of this, because he only had a vague idea of what he was supposed to do, and now Alec was on the verge of crying or cursing or generally losing control because all he wanted was for Magnus to move faster, to do something about this desperate feeling of desire surging through him.

Luckily, Magnus seemed to be in a similar condition—he was moving lower, though not as quickly as Alec might have liked. Finally though, Alec felt Magnus kiss the edge of his bellybutton, and then warm fingers were stroking around the waistband of his jeans, Magnus was undoing the button and very slowly pulling down his zipper…

And to Alec's relief, his phone didn't ring, Chairman Meow didn't suddenly teleport into the room to glare at them, an asteroid didn't hit the apartment—there was nothing to get in their way as Magnus pulled down his jeans and the boxers underneath. Alec shut his eyes then, blushing furiously. If Magnus had had any doubts before, at least now he was able to see exactly how frantic Alec was. Still, it was a little nerve-wracking, not knowing what Magnus might be thinking now that he could see him—all of him. Alec wondered how he compared to Magnus in this department, but he didn't have to wonder long how Magnus felt.

"Mmm, Alec," Magnus said, sounding a little breathless. "Now I'm going to show you how grateful I am to be the first person to ever see you like this." Then Alec felt Magnus's tongue touch him, gliding from the tip of his now painfully hard penis down the shaft and further, licking and sucking his balls, which abruptly felt like they were going to explode, or implode, or both. Then Magnus moved upward again, licked the tip of Alec's erection, and then took an inch or two into his mouth.

Alec moaned, unable to hold it back any longer. Before, he'd felt breathless with desire, but now he felt as though he needed to take extra breaths just so he could cry out when Magnus took more of his cock into his mouth. The heat and texture of Magnus's tongue and mouth surrounding him was incredible—Alec had never felt anything so good, and he bucked helplessly upward, willing Magnus to surround his entire length, to ease this amazing but agonizing sensation.

Magnus pushed his hips down, but in the same motion lowered his head, and Alec whimpered as Magnus began to suck in earnest, sometimes drawing back a little to take a breath, but even then licking and nibbling at the tip of him before taking him all the way to the hilt again. Alec could feel himself writhing now, making incoherent noises between soft exhalations of Magnus's name, and though he'd known he wouldn't last long, as he felt the pleasure than had been building in him ever since Magnus first touched him start to give way, he wondered if he'd only lasted a few minutes…or a few seconds. Then he was coming in an all-consuming rush of blinding ecstasy, all but shouting at how wonderful it felt, and he didn't wonder anything for a little while after that.

Magnus stood up and removed Alec's pants, which were still tangled around his ankles, and then, licking his lips with what Alec thought was surprising gusto, lay down beside Alec on the bed. Alec, still panting, glanced down and saw that Magnus's pants were gone now too. That wasn't as frightening a prospect as it would have been a few minutes ago.

"Sorry," Alec whispered, still breathless.

"What for?" Magnus said, grinning lazily at him. "You're a virgin, Alec. If you ever do that to me, I doubt I'll last much longer. Besides, your reaction is a testament to my superior skills. I know a complement when I see one."

Alec chuckled. "I'd…like to try that on you sometime. But I meant…when I…finished. Isn't there a rule that you aren't supposed to…you know?"

"Come like that?" Magnus said, raising his eyebrows. "I wouldn't call it a 'rule' exactly. It's a sort of etiquette thing, but it depends on who you're with. Personally, I enjoyed getting a good taste of you. And anyway, it didn't seem like you could help it."

Alec smiled sheepishly. "I couldn't. I'm usually not good at anything the first time though. With practice, I bet I'll get better."

Magnus grinned. "I'd say you're quite good already, but I like the sound of 'practice.' Besides, I'm just glad I have such an effect on you. It really is rather flattering to know you want me as much as I want you."

"Why wouldn't I?" Alec muttered, tentatively touching Magnus's smooth chest and sliding his fingers down the flat plane of his stomach. Then he looked lower and swallowed. Magnus was…impressive. And still hard. "You're…pretty amazing."

Magnus chuckled, his voice lower now. "Likewise, darling. Shall I show you something else amazing?"

Alec smiled and nodded. "If it feels anything like what you just did, you can basically do whatever you want, and I'll just try to keep up."

Magnus closed his eyes. "Oh, be careful, Alec. Are you sure you want to give me carte blanche like that to have my wicked way with you?"

"Didn't you already?" Alec wondered, smiling slightly. So far, this whole thing wasn't nearly as scary as he'd thought it would be.

Magnus grinned, his cat's eyes flashing in the dim light that came in through the curtains. "Let's just say that I'll be happy to amp up the wickedness, if you're interested."

Alec nodded, feeling a little shy again, but eager too. "Just tell me what to do."

In answer, Magnus pulled him close and kissed him hard. Alec was slightly surprised at how quickly he became engrossed in making out again. The feel of Magnus's mouth on his, and the way his hands felt against his bare skin, felt even better than it had before, now that he wasn't so nervous. He wasn't tired exactly, but he wasn't jumpy anymore either; rather, he felt strangely at ease, even though he and Magnus were both naked now.

"Alec," Magnus breathed, pushing Alec onto his back, and Alec sighed quietly. The feeling of Magnus on top of him, both of them sweaty and frantically pressing against each other, felt incredible. Blue sparks lit the room for an instant, and Magnus, who was breathing almost as raggedly as Alec was, suddenly slid a hand between his legs. Alec tensed involuntarily as he felt a finger press against his entrance, but he relaxed when he felt the slickness of lube, and he shuddered all over when Magnus began to stroke around the tight ring of muscle. Then a finger slid inside him, and Alec gasped at the sudden pressure.

"Okay?" Magnus asked, and in answer, Alec groaned and shut his eyes. He was abruptly hard again, and Magnus's finger seemed to be teasing an unbearably sensitive area.

"Magnus!" he gasped, and Magnus chuckled as he slid another finger into Alec, then another. Alec was dimly aware that this should hurt—that he should register pain, or at least discomfort—but Magnus had long fingers, and now they were brushing a spot inside him that left him writhing in pleasure and trying to buck off the bed so he could grind his erection against Magnus. Then, to Alec's horror, he felt Magnus withdraw his fingers—he was so shocked that he couldn't manage more than a whimper of disappointment.

"Don't worry, you'll feel me again in a moment," Magnus whispered, his voice so thick and low that Alec could barely understand him. Magnus was stroking himself, sliding lube over the tip of his cock, and then Alec felt Magnus move so that their bodies were lined up. He hesitated then, and Alec could feel him shaking with want.

"Ready?" Magnus whispered.

Alec looked up at him, his eyes luminous in the darkness, his expression full of love and lust. "Yes, now," he breathed, and Magnus slid carefully inside him, only slipping an inch or so in at time. At first, Alec had to fight the urge to wince. Really, it wasn't as bad as he'd feared—of course, he was a Shadowhunter, and not only was he used to pain in general, he'd experienced much worse pain than this since meeting Magnus—but still, it was a tight fit, and Alec shifted uncomfortably until Magnus was all the way inside him. Then he tilted his hips and somehow managed to hit that spot again, the one that made Alec thrust upward in mindless bliss.

They both groaned at that, and though Alec tried to hold him, Magnus pulled out a little then, only to slam back into him in one fierce motion. Alec moaned then, shivering all over, and he thrust back at Magnus, awkwardly at first, but soon they found a rhythm, and within minutes, Magnus was moaning as loudly as he was. They thrust frantically at each other, both of them slick with sweat, and Alec felt like his body was almost electrified as pinpricks of pleasure flickered all over him.

His orgasm was building again, and just as Magnus gave a powerful thrust, one that sent the headboard slamming into the wall, he felt Magnus's fingers curl around his cock, and that was it, Alec came with a yell so loud that he would later feel eternally grateful for Magnus's soundproofing spells. At almost the same moment, Magnus gave one more thrust and threw his head back, shouting at the ceiling. Alec shuddered, delicious aftershocks racing through him as he felt Magnus spill into him, warming him from the inside out just as the sweat on his skin began to cool.

"Ah…" Alec said weakly, once he finally felt like he could speak again. "Wow."

"'Wow' is an acceptable reaction to my considerable attributes," Magnus murmured, sounding sleepy and satisfied. He'd cleaned up the sticky mess that had accumulated between their bodies in another shower of sparks, and now rather than feeling like he should probably shower, Alec felt like he wanted to sleep for the next several days, provided that Magnus stayed beside him, their arms and legs tangled together beneath a blanket that Magnus had conjured from somewhere.

"What…what's that spot called? I mean, when you…I mean, first with your fingers, and then…you know, that part you hit with…your…"

Magnus grinned at him, his teeth shining (though not as brightly as his eyes) in the darkness. "With my cock. Penis. There are other ways to refer to that most excellent organ, but I prefer four and five letter words for things, whenever they exist. And you're talking about the prostate. There, that's your vocabulary word for the day."

Alec snorted with amusement, his eyelids dropping. "Thanks. 'Prostate' has eight letters though, doesn't it? Do you like that word anyway?"

Magnus chuckled drowsily. "You know, we can either stop talking right now, or we're going to have one of those odd post-coital conversations that make absolutely no sense."

Alec grinned. "Coital. Six letters, right?"

Magnus laughed and kissed him lightly. "Nap now, teasing and flirting later."

"Okay," Alec said, thinking that, after all, he _was_ tired, and Magnus was nice and warm… Within seconds, they were both asleep, nestled close together, and oblivious to the fact that their recent shouts had woken Chairman Meow, who sat in a kitchen chair and blinked accusingly at the door.


	19. Chapter 19

Hi everyone! Sorry for the late update, but my computer crashed last Sunday, and I had to have the hard drive replaced. Since I didn't get my computer back until Saturday night, I wasn't able to start this chapter until then, which is why you're only just getting it now, and why it's a bit short. Since "City of Lost Souls" was released today, I felt like I just _had _to post a chapter, so prepare for another (shorter, less involved) lemon, which takes place the morning after the first one. :) Thanks for reading, and I'll see you again soon! (Honestly, I'm probably not going to have time to update this weekend…because I'm going to be reading "City of Lost Souls." Huzzah! :))

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and sadly, my copy of "City of Lost Souls" did not arrive today. :( I was so distraught that I went and saw "The Avengers" again, because I needed to fangirl over _something _today! :) And while that was a lot of fun, I'm really hoping my copy of the book arrives tomorrow…

_Chapter 19: Magnus's POV_

As he stood in the shower that morning, Magnus found that it was almost impossible to stop grinning. Of course, this was due in part to the fact that Alec was washing him, sliding his hands through his hair to rinse away shampoo and meeting his eyes with a shy smile before running his hands down his chest, ostensibly to get rid of the last of the suds as the water ran down both their bodies. But really, the shower was just an excuse to touch each other vertically instead of horizontally.

Of course, they'd had a lot of fun horizontally the night before, but to Magnus, showering with Alec was just another bit of erotic fun that he'd been looking forward to for some time now, and judging by the way that Alec was touching him, he seemed to be enjoying himself too. Though Magnus had done his best to be tender, the previous night had been more about satisfying their equally desperate desires for each other than really getting to know each other physically. This morning though, now that Alec wasn't distracted by nerves or overwhelming lust, they both moved a little more slowly, wanting to examine each other thoroughly instead of devouring each other all at once, either literally or figuratively.

As Alec's hands traveled down to Magnus's waist and traced the smooth lines of bone and muscle there, Magnus smiled and kissed along Alec's clavicle. Alec was wonderfully muscular, and Magnus loved tracing the marks that dotted his skin with both his fingers and tongue. Alec, in turn, seemed to enjoy the feel of Magnus's own lean figure, and they were both more than a little turned on by the time they finally left the shower and stumbled back into the bedroom, too busy kissing to really look where they were going.

"You know, you're really…amazing," Alec said quietly, meeting Magnus's eyes again and smiling. "Stop me if I've said that before."

"I'll do no such thing," Magnus said, kissing Alec lightly. "I'm a firm believer in the idea that you can never pay a person too many genuine compliments. Anyway, the same goes for you. If you can't stop being so sweet and gorgeous, I might never let you out of my clutches."

Alec grinned, his hair still dripping from the shower. "I think I could live with that. Um…should we dry off a little more before we…get back in bed? We're going to get the sheets all wet like this."

In answer, Magnus let the towel he'd wrapped around his waist a few moments before fall to the floor, and Alec sucked in a breath, openly staring. The night before, he'd been too nervous to take a good look. But now, Magnus was pleased to see that though Alec was blushing a little, he looked far more curious than embarrassed.

"See anything you like?" Magnus said playfully. "And incidentally, one of the perks of being a powerful practitioner of magic is that if we get the sheets damp, I'll dry them. Magically. Or with the dryer in my laundry room. That might actually be more efficient, since with magic, I can accidentally set things on fire if I'm not paying attention."

"Can I…can I try something?" Alec asked shyly, and Magnus nodded eagerly.

"Alec, short of getting dressed and leaving this room, I'm up for pretty much anything at the moment," Magnus said, sitting down on the bed and patting the space beside him. Alec hesitated for a moment, but then he stepped forward, dropped his own towel, and then knelt in front of Magnus.

Magnus's mouth fell open. "Uh…Alec?"

Alec was blushing again, but he was also examining Magnus's cock with a kind of hungry intensity. "I was just…wondering what this would be like. Do you mind?"

Magnus shook his head mutely, watching in amazement and suddenly overpowering lust as Alec licked the tip of him, then gently began to suck an inch or two into his mouth at a time. Seeing that, Magnus had to close his eyes and bite back a wild groan. Watching Alec do this, because he wondered 'what it would be like,' when he'd been a nervous virgin twelve hours ago, was almost unbearably sexy. Magnus had already wanted to show Alec everything he could think of, to reveal all the excruciatingly pleasurable ways that their bodies could fit together, but now Magnus felt just as consumed by a desire to see what Alec would discover for himself…what they would discover together.

Alec's mouth and tongue slid all over him, and what he lacked in finesse he more than made up for in enthusiasm. Once or twice, Magnus pulled back a little, when he felt himself getting too close to the edge, but finally, Alec simply grabbed his hips and held him in place. Magnus groaned at that and touched Alec's shoulder gently.

"Alec," he said, his voice unsteady as he finally opened his eyes. "Hey, I'm almost finished here, so you'd better let me go? I think? Alec..."

Alec seemed to be ignoring him, so Magnus, who was too wrapped up in how he felt to mount an effective protest, lay back on the bed and moaned a little as Alec's teeth grazed him, very gently. Another moment of determined sucking on Alec's part, and Magnus was biting his lip and gasping quietly as he came, hoping that Alec could breath, hoping that he could wait more than a few minutes before he flipped Alec onto his stomach and slammed into him, giving them both this feeling, this amazing sensation of simultaneous explosion and oblivion...

"Ah," Alec said, sounding just as out of breath as Magnus was. "I wanted...to see how that tasted too."

Magnus chuckled. "And? How did it taste?"

"Interesting," Alec said, standing up and sitting beside him on the bed. "I was a little surprised that there really was a kind of flavor. Maybe...is savory the right word?"

Magnus laughed, sitting up and giving Alec a kiss. His tongue touched Alec's lazily. "Hmm. Savory isn't it exactly. Maybe it's more...well, we'll have to work on an adjective for that."

Alec grinned. "Can we just stay here today, and maybe start traveling tomorrow?"

Magnus smiled in return. "That sounds perfect, Alec."


	20. Chapter 20

Hi everyone! Sorry for missing last week; though I finished "City of Lost Souls" two weeks ago, I needed time to recover after that. Since the book has only been out for a couple of weeks, I'm not going to reveal anything here, but…yeah. It's going to be really, really hard to wait almost TWO YEARS for the last book. :( Anyway though, today's chapter is a short and sweet one about Alec's feelings on traveling the world with Magnus, and the equally enjoyable adventure of sharing a bed with him. Next week's chapter will take place during "City of Fallen Angels," after Magnus and Alec have to return to New York, so there will be a bit more angst then, but don't worry, more lemons are coming too. Hope you have a great weekend! :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and I'm so sad we have to wait until 2014 for "City of Heavenly Fire"! :(

Chapter 20: _Alec's POV_

Alec smiled down at his phone, clicking through the pictures he'd taken (or asked other people to take) with the camera ever since he and Magnus had started traveling together. Paris, Venice, Florence, Brussels, Madrid, and beyond—all beautiful places, but Alec knew that the amazing architecture and fascinating history (both human and Shadowhunter) of the cities they'd visited wouldn't be what he remembered about this trip. Until the day he died, he would remember being with Magnus, and what they'd done both in those moments when they'd been in front of the camera on a busy street, and when they'd been alone together in a hotel room somewhere. Every time he looked at one of the photos they'd taken together, Alec would think of those moments, but also those they hadn't documented with pictures—the ones that came before and after the flash of the camera.

In Paris, on the day they'd stood in front of the Eiffel Tower together, they'd slept late after a long night of laying on the balcony of their hotel room, looking up at the stars and talking for hours before the cool air finally drove them inside and into bed, where they thoroughly warmed each other up before falling asleep in a contented tangle of limbs. Before sightseeing that day, they'd had a huge breakfast in their room, which had ended in a playful wrestling match involving whipped cream, which had in turn led to a long shower and a brief return to bed. That was what Alec was always going to remember, not the view of some Mundie tower.

In Florence, at the Boboli Gardens, Alec hadn't commented on Magnus's outlandish outfit, but that morning, Magnus had worn the cape (and nothing else) around their hotel room, and later, Alec had tried on the hat Magnus wore that day, along with, at the warlock's coaxing, some of Magnus's other clothes. Though he still wasn't really interested in fashion, it was interesting to see the sheer variety of colors and styles that made up Magnus's wardrobe. At home, Alec's closet and dresser drawers were full of black clothing, gray clothing, and more black clothing, but while traveling with Magnus, Alec found that he was, if only accidentally, becoming more daring when it come to clothes (provided that the articles in question were in places that no one ever saw, except for him or Magnus).

After several weeks of traveling together in Europe, Alec found that at some point, he'd acquired several pairs of colorful socks and boxers. He planned to hide these at the bottom of his underwear drawer when he got home, whenever that would be, and assuming that the Institute would even still feel like home when he got back. Now that Alec was with Magnus, he was beginning to think that wherever the warlock was, that was home.

In Madrid, after feeding the pigeons in front of the Prado, they'd had a late lunch at a riverside café, where they'd discussed ideas for extravagant sandwiches they might invent. Magnus had once had a sandwich named after him in a Downworlder restaurant in London, and it had contained sauerkraut, mayonnaise, anchovies, and liverwurst. Alec thought that he'd prefer to have an _edible_ sandwich named after him, but Magnus explained that it had been a popular menu item among warlocks, whose tastebuds tended to grow rather adventurous after a few centuries.

Before that, they'd spent the morning taking a leisurely walk around the city. Alec, who was finally comfortable holding hands in public, enjoyed hearing Magnus's stories about what the city had looked like in years past, though something about the conversation made him feel a bit sad too. Magnus, perhaps sensing this, had taken him to the Prado, where Alec had discovered that feeding bits of bread to small birds could be surprisingly entertaining. Magnus had gotten someone to take their picture, and then they'd moved on to see the rest of the city. As always though, Alec knew that his favorite part of the day would be returning to their hotel room with Magnus and shutting the door on the world for another unforgettable night.

All over the world, they'd made memories that Alec knew he'd never forget, even if he lived to be as old as Magnus…though of course, that wouldn't happen. Alec shook his head—he tried to avoid thinking of Magnus's age, because every time he did, it was as if a sort of hollow place materialized inside him—it wasn't painful exactly, but the emptiness of the feeling always forced Alec to take a deep breath and resolve to think of something else. Now, as Alec stood in the shower, he wondered how he'd ever lived any other way, how he could have hidden who he was for so long, never imagining that there might be a person like Magnus waiting at the end of years of fear and uncertainty.

"Alec?" Magnus said, poking his head into the bathroom. "Sorry, but I've just had a message from your mother. The opera's going to have to wait."

Alec turned off the water and pulled the curtain aside to stare at Magnus. "What? What's going on?"

"We have to go back to New York," Magnus said grimly. "They've captured a vampire that the Clave is asking me to speak to."


	21. Chapter 21

Hi everyone! Sorry for the late update, but this week, it just worked better to aim for having a chapter finished by Sunday instead of Saturday. This week's chapter concerns Magnus's thoughts on Camille and Alec, and the role played by immortality in both relationships. Thanks as always for your reviews, and I'll see you again next week. (More lemons coming soon, promise! :))

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and I'm still sad about "City of Lost Souls" (and having to wait until 2014 for "City of Heavenly Fire"). Maybe I should see "The Avengers" again to ease my sorrows…:)

_Chapter 21: Magnus's POV_

After talking to Camille, and then relating what he'd learned to Maryse, Magnus walked home alone. Alec had elected to stay at the Institute for the night, a fact that Magnus was trying not to be bothered by, though perhaps he really did only want to catch up with his sister after so many weeks away. Still, it was clear to Magnus that Alec was finally beginning to be conscious of just how many years divided them; Magnus didn't want the difference in age to matter, and they loved each other, so why should it? But he'd had mortal lovers before, so Magnus knew that immortality was a difficult thing to deal with when he had it and someone he loved didn't. And Alec…well, Magnus had never loved anyone the way he loved Alec. Which meant it was going to be even harder, as time went on, for both of them to deal with the inescapable difference that would eventually keep them from being together…

Magnus shook his head. He hated thinking about the inevitability of it, of Alec's aging and dying someday, and he guessed that the only reason Alec hadn't gotten upset about his age or many past lovers before was that he'd simply done his best not to think about it. So, Magnus would have to try and follow his example. Tonight though, thoughts of Alec invariably led to uncomfortable musings about Camille.

The conversation he'd had with Camille had left Magnus feeling a strange mixture of amusement and sadness. On the one hand, it was difficult, almost comically so, to see now why he'd once been in love with her. Yes, Camille was remarkably beautiful, but now that he was with Alec, who was so sweet and brave, the cold, calculating attitude of his former lover seemed as obvious as it was off-putting. What had he seen in her, and by the same token, what had she seen in him?

_It's possible_, Magnus mused_, that I was simply an attractive ornament to her, something to take to parties and show off and then cast aside as soon as the novelty of our courtship wore off. Though of course, we had immortality in common. Maybe that was always my primary attraction for her—who I am, what I look like—maybe none of that mattered so much as the fact that we'll both still be here even when every mortal that either of us encountered today is gone...including Alec. _Magnus shook his head again at that thought, trying to ignore the dull ache that began somewhere between his heart and stomach when he contemplated just how much that loss was going to hurt someday.

In spite of their less than harmonious past, Magnus had been rather saddened to see Camille in such a state that night. The pain of her rejection had faded long ago, and though Magnus didn't consider himself a friend of Camille's, he didn't think of himself as an enemy either. He smiled slightly as he thought of something he'd once heard on "The Simpsons": "I'm a well-wisher…in that I don't wish you any specific sort of harm."

A hundred years ago, Magnus never could have imagined Camille as a prisoner of the Clave. She seemed far too sly, too cautious, and too proud to ever get caught up in someone else's schemes, especially illegal ones, or at least nothing so conspicuous as the murder of Nephilim. But there she'd been, trapped in the Institute, as helpless as he'd ever seen her, and Magnus wondered what on earth could have brought her to such a state. What possible enticement had her mysterious master offered Camille to make her risk her freedom, her most treasured possession? Magnus didn't like to consider who might be powerful enough to convince Camille to kill Shadowhunters, to risk death by the sun for…what?

_What she said about Alec certainly didn't help her cause_, Magnus thought irritably. _Of course she'd bring up Will Herondale, never mind that that was only a bit of revenge on my part, a ploy to make her jealous. And now Alec wonders how many lovers I've had. Hmm. How many…no, trying to count them all would only depress me, and actually giving Alec a rough estimate would only make things worse._

On a whim, as Magnus reached the door of his building and bounded up the stairs to his apartment, he texted Alec:

_'Sorry our trip ended so abruptly. We can go back, if you'd like. Just say the word.'_

_'that's okay_,' Alec replied a few minutes later. '_vacations can't last forever.'_

Magnus frowned at that. '_All right then. I'll see you tomorrow.'_ Magnus resisted the urge to put a question mark at the end of the second sentence, but he did wonder just how upset Alec was, and what, if anything, he could do about it. He couldn't change the past, and he wasn't sure he would, even if he could.

Perhaps some immortals waited until they'd found someone they really, truly loved and wished to be with forever before taking a lover, but Magnus had no problem admitting that he'd been lonely many times in his long life. The men and women he'd been with over the centuries had kept him company at times when he'd hated to be alone. They'd made him happy, and sad, and at various times, he'd felt love, hatred, and indifference for them. In short, his many lovers had made life worth living—they had made immortality feel like life, and not just an endless procession of years devoid of emotion or connections or meaning. Alec was perhaps his greatest love ever, but Magnus was glad that he wasn't his first. If he had been, Magnus wasn't sure that he would have known how to do things right with Alec...not that he was sure that he knew that even now.

Magnus unlocked his door, then smiled as Chairman Meow hurried toward him, crying to be fed and petted. Scooping the cat up, Magnus held the bundle of fur close, smiling when the cat started slightly at the sound of his buzzing phone.

"Sorry," he said, placing the cat on his shoulder so he could remove his phone from his pocket. "It's a text from Alec—he's not coming over tonight." Though Magnus felt a little down at the thought of the empty bed waiting for him down the hall, he smiled when he saw the word on the screen on his phone.

_'goodnight' _

_ 'Goodnight. Sleep well, love' _Magnus texted back.

"Maybe he'll come over tomorrow," Magnus told the purring, sleepy form of Chairman Meow. Then he headed toward his bedroom, hoping that it would contain someone other than himself and the cat the following night.


	22. Chapter 22

Hi everyone! Today's chapter is a rather angsty one (sorry). In it, Alec lies awake worrying about his relationship with Magnus, and how the age difference (and his lack of immortality) might be a bigger issue than he'd ever considered during his distractingly wonderful time traveling with Magnus. Since presumably most of you have read "City of Fallen Angels," I'm going to skip the part where they fight at the Ironworks and go straight to the aftermath, so next week's chapter will show these two beginning to work things out. :) Thanks as always for your reviews, and because I'm going to be out of town next weekend, there won't be a new chapter. (Once again, sorry.) So, I'll see you again in two weeks! Enjoy the rest of the weekend! :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare, not I, is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and I wish that "Magical Love Gentleman" (mentioned in "City of Lost Souls," though please note that that was not a spoiler) was a real graphic novel series. :)

Chapter 22: _Alec's POV_

Alec stared miserably up at the ceiling of his bedroom. He'd gone to bed hours before, after texting Magnus to say goodnight, but he still couldn't sleep. Talking to Isabelle earlier hadn't helped either.

"Well, of course I figured he'd been with lots of people before you," she'd said when he'd gone to her room to say hello and, eventually, ask her opinion on his current conflict with Magnus. "What, you never thought of that before, Alec?"

"No, but I guess I just…tried not to think about exact…numbers," Alec had said with a scowl.

Isabelle had given him a pitying look then. "Alec, just because he's been with lots of people doesn't mean that what you two have isn't special. He's just lived so long that it only makes sense. I mean, you know how many guys I've dated. Think about how much bigger that number would be if I'd been alive for hundreds of years."

It was a logical explanation for Magnus's many lovers…but not a satisfying one, at least not for Alec. He was still upset, and though he wasn't completely sure why he'd decided to avoid Magnus tonight (because it certainly wasn't helping him calm down or feel better about his boyfriend's eventful past), he knew that seeing Magnus right now wouldn't help matters either. Instead, it seemed that he was going to lay awake all night, trying to understand his feelings and Magnus's actions and only making himself angrier in the process.

Alec hadn't meant to get mad and storm off—even now, he regretted his earlier abrupt exit, but he knew that even if he could go back and do things differently, he probably wouldn't. Just the thought of Magnus's many past conquests filled Alec with a fierce (and rather embarrassing) feeling of jealousy. Jealousy…and fear of his own potential inadequacy too, because how could he possibly measure up against _centuries'_ worth of lovers?

What was Magnus even doing with him if he'd once had a lover like Camille? She would never get old and die; her youth would never fade, whereas Alec, try as he had lately to ignore the fact, knew that in just a few short decades, he was going to look like Magnus's father, or grandfather. Then he would be alone, because why would Magnus stay with him then?

Even in the best case scenario, how many years did they have together? Alec had, perhaps foolishly, never thought beyond his immediate future with Magnus, but then, he supposed that most people his age didn't approach love with an eye for the ramifications of truly being together "forever." Isabelle certainly didn't—she'd never talked about any boyfriend as if she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. But Alec loved Magnus that way.

_By the angel, I'm naïve,_ Alec thought unhappily. He'd just assumed that somehow, things would work out, and that they would always be together. But now that he wasn't traveling with Magnus, safely enveloped in a seemingly endless stream of beautiful sites, cozy hotel rooms, and sex—sex had definitely distracted him—Alec couldn't ignore reality any longer.

Was there any way that he and Magnus could spend the rest of their lives together? And even if there was, would the Clave come between them somehow? Or would some other past lover of Magnus's return and steal him away when Alec was old and ugly? Could a future with Magnus—years and years, not weeks or months—ever be anything more than a dream, a fantasy that Alec had entertained until he realized that time would inevitably separate them?

Alec tossed and turned, his thoughts roiling around inside his head. He knew that he was just making everything worse—he'd once read something that suggested that most of the world's problems stemmed from lying awake worrying about things in the middle of the night—but he couldn't stop himself from imagining the horrible possibilities that the future might hold. Magnus getting bored with him, Magnus breaking up with him, Magnus only wanting him for as long as he stayed young and handsome…

If someone had asked him yesterday, Alec would have confidently stated that their relationship was based on more than looks and physical chemistry, that he and Magnus genuinely liked each other, but now he wasn't so sure. After all, what did they really have in common…aside from each other, and a shared desire to be together? Was that enough to build a lasting relationship on?

Alec sighed and finally sat up. His stomach hurt, so he got up and stumbled into the bathroom to get a drink of water. Turning on the light, Alec squinted critically at himself in the mirror. There were dark circles starting to form under his eyes, but otherwise, his face looked the same as it had yesterday. How many years of almost imperceptible change would pass before Alec no longer looked like someone that Magnus Bane would love?

It wasn't so much that Alec thought that Magnus was shallow—rather, he just thought that someone as beautiful as Magnus should be with someone as striking as he was. Alec had never really thought of himself as handsome, not until Magnus had started telling him he was, and sometimes, it was hard for Alec to see what Magnus was talking about. As he stared at himself now, he saw a man who was still little more than a boy, who was pale and sweaty and needed to shave.

Even on his best days though, Alec knew that the difference between he and Magnus must be striking at times. He was never as glamorous-looking as the warlock, or as confident, or as charming, so what did it really matter if he had a decent-looking face? Maybe it had long been obvious to everyone but Alec how different they were, how little logical explanation there was for why they were together, aside from the fact that he loved Magnus, and Magnus seemed to inexplicably love him back.

_But how long will that last?_ Alec wondered miserably, splashing water on his face and then drinking from the tap before stumbling back to bed. When he finally fell asleep, he dreamed about kissing Magnus, but when he woke and found himself alone, Alec couldn't help the tears that fell. He finally drifted off to sleep again just before dawn, but only after crying for longer than he would ever admit to anyone...even Magnus, or maybe especially Magnus.


	23. Chapter 23

Hi everyone! Sorry for taking a week off, but I had a great time visiting my friend in Wisconsin, and now I'm back with a chapter that's a lot less angsty than the last one. (There's still a bit of angst, but mostly it's about Magnus trying to understand the depth of his feelings for Alec and resolving to try and be more honest about how he feels, both with Alec and with himself.) Thanks as always for your reviews, and I'll see you again next week…with a lemon! (Sorry, I know it's been a while since the last one, but once I get into writing chapters set during "City of Lost Souls," there should be a few more. :))

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and I can't wait to hear more about the movie. Seriously, can it be next year yet? (Actually though, I'm glad that I have plenty of time to reread "City of Bones" and generally fangirl in preparation for the movie. )

Chapter Twenty-Three:_ Magnus's POV_

As he hurried down the street, Magnus cursed himself for ever leaving the Ironworks. He was on his way to the building where Alec was—Alec, along with Clary, Jace, what was left of the Morgenstern boy, and several other troublesome young Shadowhunters and Downworlders. Really though, Magnus was only concerned with Alec, because Alec had gone off and gotten into something dangerous...tonight, of all nights, after they'd had a fight.

_And I left him thinking he was trivial,_ Magnus thought with a scowl. _I told him specifically that he isn't, so knowing Alec, now he's more convinced than ever that he doesn't really matter to me. Which only proves that he's as stupid as I am…_

It was ironic, in a way, that Camille's disappearance had led Magnus to leave Alec at the party, while Alec's disappearance from that same party (which Magnus hadn't known about until a few minutes ago) and subsequent reappearance in the middle of a strange and dangerous battle had led him to abandon the search for Camille entirely. _Maybe I'm simply prone to falling in love with people who have a knack for abrupt exits,_ he thought wryly. Of course, the Shadowhunters who had been searching for Camille had, for the most part, abandoned the effort just as quickly as he had when the messages had started making their way through the ranks: the body of Valentine's son discovered, a greater demon raised in the heart of the city, rumors of demonic experiments and dead bodies in the building where that same demon had appeared…it had been a busy night.

Magnus cursed again and ran faster toward the building where Alec and the others were supposedly waiting, hoping that he was all right, and that there was a way to put their recent argument behind them. _And when I get there, if he's disappeared again, I'll be more than a little put out with him_, Magnus thought grimly. That, of course, was a severe understatement of the matter.

Their argument hadn't even been a real argument exactly. Yes, Alec might be a bit jealous of his past lovers, and certainly he was hurt at the idea of being just another conquest, but Magnus knew that that wasn't the real problem. Rather, Alec had finally begun to understand that even though they loved each other, and even though Magnus was old and powerful and (he guessed) had a way of seeming as though he had all the answers, there might not be a way for them to really be together forever. Not without the bite of a vampire or some dark magic, and Alec found both of those options abhorrent. If there was some palatable way to bridge the gap between them, Magnus hadn't found it yet, and tonight had reminded him that though he had almost unlimited time in this world, Alec didn't.

Honestly, while they'd been traveling together, Magnus had believed (rather foolishly, it seemed in retrospect), that he and Alec would simply continue as they had so far indefinitely. He'd acknowledged, in the back of his mind, that their time together was limited, but when Alec was close to him, the thought of that distant future didn't matter. As long as he could hold Alec, touch Alec, Magnus had told himself that he could enjoy the time they had, and when it was over, he would move on, just as he always had. But Magnus knew now that he'd been lying to himself.

He hadn't accepted the eventual loss of Alec at all. When they were together, he could be willfully blind, and believe that he would never really lose him. After all, when they were alone, just the two of them, laughing, talking, making love, it seemed impossible that Alec would ever grow old and die, would ever really disappear. How could he, as long as Magnus could hold onto him?

Magnus could see now that he had never truly believed that Alec _could_ die, merely because he didn't want him to. It was short-sighted and illogical, a colossal failure of imagination on his part, and if someone else had so stubbornly refused to acknowledge a similar problem, Magnus would have thought them ridiculous. But it was Alec, and it wasn't ridiculous to deny the possibility of losing him: it was a necessity, because now that they were apart, now that Alec had gone off to do something dangerous without him, Magnus found he couldn't bear the thought of living without Alec. He needed the beautiful, intelligent, loving Shadowhunter with an intensity that frightened him—in all his centuries of life and lovers, it had never been so vital to keep someone. Magnus had needed people before, but not like this—not to the point of deceiving himself so totally, of aching with worry now that Alec was out of his sight.

Magnus sighed, relieved now that he'd finally reached his destination, an average-looking building still under construction. Hurrying inside, he searched frantically for Alec until he managed to pick him out of the crowd of Shadowhunters milling about the room. Then, as he moved toward Alec, Magnus made himself a promise.

_I'm going to kiss him, right here, if he'll let me. I'll kiss him, and never mind the damn Shadowhunters who might stare or sneer—anyone who does will be sorry. Then I'm taking Alec home and showing him exactly how important he is. After all this, I may have to drag him off on another long vacation, just to have a chance to demonstrate my ardor properly… _

Magnus saw now, more clearly than ever before, how many things could separate them. Had the battle tonight gone differently, Magnus knew that he might have to face burying Alec instead of taking him home and loving him…and Magnus could hardly bear the thought of that, of Alec cold and lifeless and forever out of his reach. But he would bear it, and he would do all he could to make the time they had together wonderful…for Alec's sake, but for his own sake too, because beyond the span of Alec's life, however long it lasted, Magnus could imagine nothing of the future but an intolerable feeling of loss.


	24. Chapter 24

Hi everyone! This week's chapter takes place at the beginning of "City of Lost Souls," sort of during the prologue, when everyone is still searching for Jace. Please note that if you haven't read CoLS, from this chapter on, you might encounter spoilers, so please be mindful of that as you read. Also, there's a lemon in this chapter! So, I hope you enjoy that, and I'll see you again next week. :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments," and the snippets from "Clockwork Princess" that she keeps posting on Tumblr are driving me nuts! Seriously, the book doesn't come out until next year! WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME SO, CASSIE?

Chapter Twenty-Four:_ Alec's POV_

The days and weeks that followed Jace's disappearance passed in a kind of blur for Alec. He barely ate, he rested as seldom as possible, and though he was with Magnus almost constantly, they rarely spoke of anything but the search for Jace, and they almost never had a moment alone. On the rare occasions when Magnus could convince Alec to stop and sleep for a few hours, Alec would invariably collapse as soon as he felt his head touch the pillow and Magnus's arms wrap around him; clearly, even a stamina rune couldn't keep him going during a time of such constant stress and worry unless he slept now and then.

During the first night of sleep he'd had in over a week, Alec woke suddenly from an unpleasant dream. He hesitated to think of it as a nightmare exactly, because to do so would mean admitting how much it had scared him. More than anything, he'd been frustrated. In the dream, Jace was back, and everything was fine somehow, thanks to the inexplicable logic of dreams. But Alec couldn't find Magnus. He wandered all over the city searching for him, but he could never find him, no matter where he looked. Eventually, Alec found himself sitting in the apartment, waiting for Magnus to come home and wondering if he ever would.

That was when he woke up and discovered that Magnus wasn't in bed.

"Magnus?" Alec called uneasily, still half asleep and feeling more frightened than he wanted to admit. A moment later, Alec heard footsteps, and then Magnus was back in the bedroom, shutting the door behind him so Chairman Meow couldn't get in and try to sleep on their pillows.

"Sorry, I just got up to check something," Magnus said, sitting down on the bed and brandishing a book. "I'm still trying to figure out how—Alec, are you all right?"

"Fine," Alec said, taking a deep breath and lying down again. "I just…I had a dream where Jace wasn't missing…but you were. I looked everywhere, but I couldn't find you. It just freaked me out a little, to wake up and find you gone—sorry, it was just a stupid dream..."

Magnus set the book down on the nightstand before he leaned over and wrapped his arms around Alec, who immediately shut his eyes. Just feeling Magnus there, without seeing him, made the dream seem further and further away. Yes, he could fall asleep like this, he could get a few hours rest and then start looking for Jace again. They _would_ find him, soon, maybe even tomorrow. He just had to focus on that, to avoid feelings of hopelessness or anger, which wouldn't do him any good, which would only distract him—

"Alec," Magnus said quietly, and Alec opened his eyes again. The warlock leaned down and kissed him, and instantly, Alec felt himself shuddering with pent up desire. He'd been avoiding this, almost unconsciously, because in some corner of his mind, he'd known that if he and Magnus were alone like this, then it would be a long time before they could tear themselves away from each other. He would sleep too long if they did this, he would lose precious hours that could be spent hunting for Jace and Sebastian…

"Wait," Alec whispered, feeling slightly dizzy. It had taken all the self-control that he could muster to pull away from Magnus, and now that he'd done it, he was regretting it. Yes, he wanted to find Jace, more than anything…but he wanted this too. Was he really going to live like a monk until Jace was found? Alec considered not touching Magnus for days, or weeks…and he decided that he _needed_ a distraction right now. And Magnus was the most distracting person he knew.

Magnus smirked down at him. "Let me guess. You're afraid that my wicked ways are going to keep you from your rest. Well, if you'd _really_ rather go back to sleep, then I suppose I'll let you be…"

He let go of Alec then and made as if to roll over and settle himself back on his side of the bed, but Alec caught him and held him close again.

"Yeah, I changed my mind," Alec said breathlessly. "I decided that I want you to distract me. Please."

Magnus's yellow-green cat's eyes seemed to blaze in the darkness. "Since you asked so nicely, it would be my pleasure."

Then they were kissing again, and Magnus was pinning Alec to the bed, leaving a hickey on his neck that Alec would have to hide in the morning. _I'll wear a scarf_, Alec thought in a daze, groaning as Magnus's fingers slid down his stomach and then lower. Alec felt his boxers vanish, and then Magnus was touching him, curling his fingers around the length of him but still keeping Alec pinned. Alec squirmed then, wanting Magnus to do more than stroke him, tease him, but they were still kissing, so other than grunting against Magnus's tongue, Alec couldn't really protest.

Alec loved this, the feeling that Magnus was as strong as he was, maybe stronger even. He knew that people looked at him, saw how muscular he was, and expected strength (and perhaps little else). But Alec hadn't been feeling very strong lately—no amount of muscle, or cleverness, or thoroughness seemed to be enough to find his lost parabartai—but now, for a little while in the dark with Magnus, Alec didn't have to be strong. He could get lost in sensation, forget everything that was wrong and just enjoy being with the man he loved...

"Magnus," Alec gasped, finally taking a deep breath when Magnus broke the kiss, both of them panting. "Please, right now."

"Of course, dearest," Magnus said, his light tone belying the fact that his voice was practically a growl now. At least Magnus seemed as desperate as Alec was for this. Magnus's fingers were suddenly coated in lube, and Alec could feel him massaging his entrance, one finger easing inside him just enough to make Alec gasp and jerk upward. Magnus chuckled at that, but clearly, he was feeling equally impatient, because an instant later, he was gripping Alec's legs and lifting them as he slid inside him, inch by delicious inch, in that slow way that Alec knew was Magnus's attempt to draw this out for both of them, of trying to delay the inevitable quick climax that would result when they came together this quickly.

Alec ran his hands down Magnus's chest as he thrust, breathing heavily as they slammed against each other, both of them moaning a little as Magnus changed the angle of his thrusts and began hitting Alec's prostate. Alec leaned his head back on the pillow and concentrated on breathing; he knew he was going to come soon, but he wanted to draw this out, to savor the intense pleasure that was coursing through him. He held Magnus close, his fingernails digging into the warlock's shoulders, and Alec hoped that he wasn't scratching him, but he also knew that Magnus wouldn't mind if he did. Magnus in turn was thrusting harder, making the headboard slam against the wall as his mouth found Alec's again.

When Magnus touched him again, sliding his hand from his balls up the shaft to the tip of him, Alec couldn't contain a whimper. It took only a few hard strokes from Magnus and Alec was coming, crying out as he felt himself spurt against Magnus's stomach just as Magnus thrust into him one more time, coming in a rush that seemed to warm Alec from the inside out. They both lay there for a few moments, sweating and panting and thoroughly content, and then Magnus rolled off him and gently tugged on his arm.

"Come on, love," he said, grinning lazily in the darkness. "Shower time."

Alec smiled, feeling sated and relaxed for the first time in weeks. "Lead the way."

Showers with Magnus never seemed to involve much actual cleaning. For a few minutes, they kissed under the hot spray of water, doing a cursory job of washing each other with soap and wash cloths, but they quickly grew too lost in each other for that to be enough, and soon, Alec was on his hands and knees in the shower, bracing himself against the tiled wall and moaning as Magnus, already hard again, slammed into him. As Alec came again, it occurred to him that at least after this, he'd sleep soundly for the rest of the night, assuming that sharing a bed with Magnus Bane would allow him to sleep at all…


	25. Chapter 25

Hi everyone! Sorry for the late update, but this past week was a bit tricky; between the heat wave (it got up to 104° on Saturday!) and the holiday (Happy belated Fourth of July, by the way, to U.S. readers), it was hard to get a chapter done. The AC in my apartment is…inconsistent at best, so rather than writing last week, I was more concerned with not expiring from the heat. Also, just so you know, next week's chapter will probably be late too, since I'm going to have relatives visiting this weekend, and I always have a hard time writing lemons under those circumstances...:P

Today's chapter takes place the morning after the previous one. After this chapter, the action is going to start to take place during the events of "City of Lost Souls," so let me just warn you again if you haven't read the book, though I'm pretty sure most of you have by now, that THERE WILL BE SPOILERS!

One last thing: "You and I" has been nominated for an Energize W.I.P. Award in the category "Most promising Mortal Instruments FanFiction"! Apparently, the voting will be from July 13th thru July 20th; I'm not exactly sure how it works yet, but I'll give you an update next week, and if you could possibly take the time to vote, I'd appreciate it very much. :) Thanks as always for your reviews, and I'll see you again sometime next week! :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and the "City of Bones" movie is only…a little over a year away. Ouch. (And have you seen the cover of "Clockwork Princess"? SO PRETTY!)

Chapter Twenty-Five: _Magnus's POV_

Magnus woke feeling better than he had in weeks. Not touching Alec on the few nights they'd spent together had been torture, but he'd known that any romantic overtures would be ill-timed, given how overwrought and exhausted Alec had been ever since Jace had vanished. Jace…where the hell could that maddening boy be?

Alec was already getting dressed by the time Magnus was starting to feel fully awake. It was difficult to do more than blink drowsily at things until he'd had some coffee, but Magnus was trying. He wished that Alec didn't have to leave yet…

"I'll call you when I know where I'll be today, all right?" Alec said, grabbing his bow after he'd buckled his weapons belt.

"Sounds like a plan," Magnus said, reaching over to run his fingers through Alec's hair as he sat down on the bed to tie his boots. Alec smiled slightly at his touch, but as Magnus draped his arms around him, resting his head on Alec's shoulder so he could see his face, Alec looked pained.

"What is it?" Magnus asked gently.

"Before all this, when I was…angry with you," Alec said hesitantly. "I just couldn't stop asking myself how I could be…enough for you; smart enough, or good-looking enough, or…_enough_ of anything. Because compared to you, I'm—"

"Alec," Magnus said sternly, "if you say 'boring' or 'ordinary' or some other uncomplimentary adjective, I will be very displeased."

Alec chuckled nervously. "But it's true. And maybe when this is all over, I'll find a way to deal with it, but until we find Jace, I'm just going to try to forget about that stuff, all right? So, I guess I'm trying to say…thanks, for putting up with me while I try to figure out…everything that's happening right now."

"You shouldn't have to forget it, because it isn't true, Alec," Magnus said impatiently. "And I'm happy to be here for you now—it isn't some kind of burden, you know, helping the man I love in his time of need. I _want_ to be here to help you."

"Well, thanks," Alec said awkwardly. "Sorry, I guess this is another one of those things that I don't really understand about relationships yet. I'm still getting used to having friends outside the Clave, let alone…someone I love. It just seems like the rules are different sometimes."

Magnus rolled his eyes but hugged Alec a little tighter. "The _rules_, as you put it, are never the same. They always depend on the people in the relationship. So, for example, I'm the sort of person who's more than happy to help his boyfriend look for his parabartai, and you're the sort of person who will move heaven and earth to find said parabartai, even if doing so means depriving yourself of your wickedly handsome boyfriend's attention for weeks at a time."

Alec smiled. "'_Wickedly_ handsome'? I'd probably just say that you're handsome and leave it at that. I'm not big on modifiers."

Magnus chuckled, letting his hands, which had been resting against Alec's chest, roam lower, tracing the lines of his lover's stomach and thighs. Alec sat still for a few moments, clearly enjoying the sensation of being touched, but after a minute or so, his breathing started to get ragged, and he made as if to stand up.

"I—I should go," he stammered, but then Magnus kissed the back of his neck, then slipped his tongue into Alec's ear, tracing its shape, and Alec started shaking. Clearly, he was too turned on to really will himself to get up and walk away now.

"You know, I wish you'd take the time to sleep more than once a week," Magnus said quietly. "But since I know you're not about to slow down, I'll just have to take care of you as best I can. So, let's take five minutes right now to make sure that you're relaxed and refreshed for the rest of the day."

"I'm…already dressed," Alec breathed, inhaling sharply when Magnus's hand cupped the front of his pants and didn't let go.

"_You're_ dressed, but I'm not," Magnus pointed out, his voice low and seductive, and when Alec turned and kissed him, it was easy enough to pull him down on top of him and unzip his pants.

"Magnus," Alec said raggedly, already hard from the way that Magnus had been stroking his stomach and thighs.

"Don't worry, I know you just put on your clothes," Magnus said, a little breathless from the way that Alec was running his hands all over him. "So, I won't take any off. Come here."

Alec took a deep breath, and Magnus stroked the tip of him, a little lube magically appearing on the tips of his fingers. Alec shuddered and leaned down, nibbling and sucking at Magnus's neck until Magnus was sure that he'd see a hickey there later, whenever he cared to finally get out of bed and examine himself. Magnus shifted under Alec, showing him with his hand where to go. Alec grabbed his legs, and Magnus grinned as he slid his knees over Alec's shoulders and Alec entered him, groaning as he did so. Magnus groaned too, and squeezed Alec's forearms. As soon as Alec was all the way inside him, he raised his head to look at Magnus, panting slightly.

"Fast now," Magnus said, staring up at Alec's intense blue eyes, narrowed in concentration; Alec always worried in this situation, both about possibly hurting Magnus or coming too quickly, so Magnus had learned the best way to do this. "Fast and hard."

Alec pulled out slightly, then slammed back into him, and they both moaned. Alec was still relatively inexperienced, but somehow, that always seemed to make this better; his movements were always unpredictable, thrilling, and Magnus relished the way that Alec quickly stopped trying to move slowly and gave in to the urge to thrust as fast as he could. Feeling Alec inside him always did something to Magnus that unnerved the warlock a little. Maybe it was because he was the one who'd shown Alec this and a myriad of other forms of physical love, but the pleasure of Alec thrusting inside him was always nearly unbearable.

"Alec," Magnus moaned, writhing underneath him, stroking himself in hopes of coming when Alec did, and then Alec was crying out, and so was Magnus, and then they were both finished. As they lay together, panting in the light of early morning that one curtain, only partly drawn, admitted to the room, Magnus motioned with his hand, some blue sparks escaped from his fingertips, and two Styrofoam cups of coffee appeared on the nightstand.

"Here," he said quietly, nodding at the coffee and helping Alec sit up. "So neither of us tries to take a nap after that. See, if you'd rest during the night more often, you could always have that kind of energy in the morning."

Alec smiled lazily and zipped up his pants. "I'll keep that in mind. And thanks for the coffee and…morning festivities."

Magnus snorted. "Clearly, you need coffee if that's the best euphemism for sweaty sex you can come up with. Go on, you'd better leave before I drag you back into bed again."

Alec nodded, knowing to take the threat seriously. He kissed Magnus one more time, slowly and gently, and then he stood up, grabbed his coffee, and waved goodbye.

"See you later," he said.

"Bye, love," Magnus called, yawning and stretching, feeling pleasantly sore as he sipped his coffee and thought about what the new day might have in store for them: news of Jace, at long last? Magnus still wished for a definitive answer about the future he might have with Alec, but until he could find one, he was certainly grateful for the present they had together. Of course, Alec would never really be happy until he found Jace. _When we finally find that boy, it'll be a struggle not to curse him with something horrible for causing so much trouble,_ Magnus thought irritably. With a sigh, he stood up and began to move toward the closet, seeking search party appropriate clothing.


	26. Chapter 26

Hi everyone! This week's chapter is a bit angsty I'm afraid; it deals with Alec's thoughts about his parents' reactions to his relationship with Magnus, and how their behavior might change the longer that Alec and Magnus are together. I'm not going back to edit the chapter where I have Robert and Maryse being supportive of Alec, because I feel like they really might have felt that way initially; after losing Max, I think that they would have been in a place where, if Alec was happy with someone, they would have supported him regardless of their feelings about the person in question. But as their grief faded, I can see both the Lightwoods starting to be less than thrilled with Alec's romantic interest in Magnus.

Since a couple of you have asked, I'll just warn you right now that I'm planning to end this fic the way that Cassie ended CoLS, and I'll probably go on hiatus until "City of Heavenly Fire" is released. However, I do plan to write a one-shot in which MAJOR SPOILER ALERT, SERIOUSLY, IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED "CITY OF LOST SOULS" YET, THEN STOP READING RIGHT NOW! Magnus and Alec get back together. (I'm hoping that a story like that will be a nice balm to soothe all of our souls while we wait for CoHF—ugh, 2014 seems so far away…)

Two more notes: sorry, but since I'm going to be traveling again this weekend, no new chapter until next week. (I'm planning for that one to be a bit more fan-servicey though. :)) Also, for the Energize WIP Award, it looks like winners are determined in part by review numbers, so if you could make sure to review this week, that would be great! If you'd like to learn more about this contest, please go to the following website: www*energizewipawards*blogspot*com/2011/09/nominees*html (Just replace the asterisks with periods.)

Thanks as always for your reviews, everyone, and I'll see you again soon! :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and WHY ISN'T IT 2013 YET? (The cover of CP2 is so pretty, and I'm really excited for the "City of Bones" movie…:))

_Chapter Twenty-Six_: Alec's POV

As Alec walked back toward Magnus's apartment after the unsettling meeting with the Seelie Queen, he tried not to think about how badly the fairy's illusion had rattled him. Or the news that his father might be staying in Idris as the new Inquisitor. Instead, he tried to focus on the dinner he'd just had at Taki's, and before that, the encounter he'd had with Aline earlier that day.

After seeing Aline with Helen at the Institute, Alec couldn't help but feel strangely pleased. When he'd kissed Magnus in the Accords Hall in Idris a few months ago, he'd had no idea that he might be helping anyone else find the nerve to finally reach out toward the person they wanted. What Aline had said had made him happy, but…a bit uncomfortable too, if only because she'd reminded him that his life now was very different than it had been during those happy days in Idris when he'd first been with Magnus, and his parents had seemed to understand.

Things had changed between Alec and his father. Now that Robert Lightwood was being considered for the position of Inquisitor, the scrutiny with which his family was regarded had increased, and though his father knew that he'd traveled with Magnus for a while, he never asked Alec about him anymore. In fact, he and his father had barely spoken since they'd separated in Idris after his parents had first formally met Magnus—they'd known him professionally already, but meeting him as their son's boyfriend had, in retrospect, probably unnerved both his parents more than they'd let on.

Alec wondered now if the support that his father had once expressed for his relationship with Magnus had been entirely genuine. And if it had been, had Max's recent death made his father eager to embrace Alec's choice of lover, simply because he didn't want to risk losing another child? Maybe his father had only been feigning enthusiasm, fearing that if he didn't, he might drive a wedge between himself and the only son he had left. Maybe he'd said things he hadn't really meant. Now that he was back in Idris, surrounded by the Clave and their standards of right and wrong, maybe his father had no inclination to see him again until his new position had been assured.

_Assuming he does become the Inquisitor,_ Alec thought grimly. _Between me dating Magnus and Isabelle's habit of serial dating Downworlders, I guess Dad's probably not thrilled with either of us right now. Having kids like me and Iz must make it hard to advance in the Clave…_

Alec frowned at the thought of hurting his father's chance for promotion. Part of him really did care, but a larger part of Alec was hurt that his father apparently cared more about the Clave than his own family. If his relationship with Magnus cost his father the position he wanted, then so be it. Alec had spent far too long hiding who he really was, and now that he was being honest about who he loved, he didn't care if people disapproved. At least, he was trying not to care. He felt a little sorry for his parents, knowing that the Clave was judgmental enough to make them suffer for his choices, but Alec wasn't sorry enough to pretend he was someone else. Not anymore.

Of course, try as he might to be indifferent to the situation, Alec _would_ care if his father lost the job of Inquisitor because of him. But caring wouldn't change anything. He loved Magnus, and the Clave, his father, _everyone_ just needed to get used to that.

Then there was his mother. Though at least she was willing to speak to Magnus (and generally acknowledge his existence in other ways too), Alec could tell that she didn't really approve of his relationship with the High Warlock of Brooklyn. She'd never complained outright, but it was obvious that she thought his dating Magnus was like Isabelle's dating a new Downworlder every other week—in her opinion, he wasn't in love, he was just trying to rebel, and Alec doubted that her assessment of the situation was going to change anytime soon.

Alec suddenly found himself thinking back to a night in Milan, back when he and Magnus had been traveling. They'd had an incredible dinner, before going skinny dipping at twilight in a pond that, Alec suspected, must have been cloaked from prying eyes by some spell of Magnus's, since they somehow hadn't been spotted by anyone in the rather busy park that the pond occupied. Then they'd gone back to their hotel, kissing all the way up to their room, where Magnus had bent him over their dining room table before dragging him off to bed. When they were finished though, Alec hadn't fallen asleep as quickly as he usually did. They'd had cappuccino after dinner, so though they were both exhausted, they'd laid awake for a long time, smiling drowsily at each other.

Alec had almost been asleep when he'd thought of the question, and then he'd asked it without even thinking.

"Do you ever…think about your parents?" he'd said. "I mean…do you miss them sometimes?"

Magnus had smiled sadly then. "I suppose I do. Or rather, I miss them for who they might have been, if they could have accepted what I am—if we could have understood each other. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah," Alec had said quietly, and then he remembered kissing Magnus until they'd both dozed off. Alec hadn't asked Magnus about his parents again after that. As he climbed the steps to Magnus's apartment, he supposed that in spite of his current difficulties with his parents, he couldn't really find the energy to criticize them too harshly. Aside from the fact that there were too many more important things going on right now, Alec knew that he was lucky in a way, that his parents were as accepting of him as they were. How could he complain to Magnus that his parents were distant or dismissive when Magnus's parents had genuinely hated and feared him?

Alec sighed to himself. _It's depressing, being grateful that my parents don't hate me,_ he thought. As he entered the building, he found himself still struggling to ignore the memory of what the Seelie Queen had done to him. That was something else he couldn't tell Magnus about, because of course, mortality was still the elephant in the room that they were both trying to avoid discussing. Alec frowned and rubbed his eyes wearily. All he wanted to do was to get in bed with Magnus and sleep for a long, long time…


	27. Chapter 27

Hi everyone! Sorry for missing last week, but the summer's finally winding down (I'm busiest in the summer, so I'm really relieved), so you can probably count on a chapter every week now until the second week of September, when I'll be going on vacation. This week's chapter is, for the most part, another dose of angst, but it shows a rather sweet side of Magnus too, so in that sense it's pretty fanservice-y. As it is though, you're going to have to wait another week for a new lemon. (So not next week, but the week after. :)) Thanks as always for your reviews and for your patience, and I'll see you again soon! :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" and can they PLEASE announce who's been cast as Alec soon? Please?

_Chapter Twenty-Seven_: Magnus's POV

It was almost dawn, and even after working all night, Magnus still hadn't been able to find anything that might be relevant to Jace's current predicament. Books were piled all around him, some open to vaguely relevant passages, while others were piled high in precarious stacks that Chairman Meow liked to either sleep on top of or knock over, depending on the mercurial whims of the feline mind. The fact that he was distracted certainly didn't help his information gathering efforts either; knowing that Alec was in bed just a few yards away from him, that Alec probably wouldn't mind if Magnus went in and woke him up, made it hard to concentrate.

After a few more minutes of staring sullenly at a likely-looking page of a book, willing it to reveal some fact that could help them, Magnus stood up with a groan. His back was stiff from hunching over dusty tomes all night, so after stretching for a few moments, Chairman Meow staring at him as if to ask why he wasn't either feeding him or petting him, Magnus made his way quietly into the bedroom. He stood on the threshold for a moment, carefully pushing the door open so that his entrance would be silent, before he slipped into the darkened room.

Alec was asleep, of course—adorably so. He was shirtless, but only his shoulders and head weren't covered by the blanket. He was on his side, his head turned toward Magnus's usual side of the bed, his face pressed deeply into his pillow. Magnus smiled down at him, carefully sitting on the edge of the bed and sliding his fingers gently through Alec's hair. Then he ran a finger along the line of Alec's jaw, very slowly, and Alec's expression shifted slightly into a smile, but otherwise, he slept on soundly.

Not for the first time, Magnus wished that he and Alec could just get out of New York for a while—just leave, go back to traveling in Europe and enjoying each other without the harsh realities of their situation intruding. The weeks they'd spent together, just the two of them, had been some of the best of Magnus's existence, but now, he wondered if it was possible to ever go back to such an outwardly idyllic time. What he and Alec had now was more complicated than what it had been in the beginning, and though Magnus wouldn't trade his relationship with Alec for anything, he knew that things couldn't remain as they were now. Something needed to change.

"I'm trying, you know," Magnus said quietly, lowering his voice to a whisper when Alec stirred again. "I never let you see how hard I'm trying, Alec, not just to help Jace, but to help us, to find a way for this to work. Because I need you, Alec, more than I thought possible, and I'm going to find a way to keep you. I promise."

Alec slept on peacefully, and Magnus sighed, running a hand wearily through his hair. Was that really a promise he could keep? The problem of Jace's disappearance had reminded Magnus, for the first time in a long time, that there were some problems he couldn't solve, some questions he couldn't answer even with all his knowledge and experience. Even after hundreds of years, there were still innumerable things about magic and mortality that Magnus wasn't sure he'd even understand. But now, understanding such things had become a matter of life and death. And Magnus wondered how much time he had left to figure things out.

Leaving the bedroom, Magnus went back into the study and pulled a nondescript book from the top of a bookcase. He glanced at the blank blue cover, wondering if he should draw some sort of symbol on it, but he decided that that was a question better answered later, not now, after a sleepless night. Opening it, he smiled down at the pictures inside.

The book was a scrapbook, full of pictures of Magnus with Alec or things like postcards, hotel keys, and theater programs from places they'd visited. Magnus was planning to give the book to Alec eventually, but every time he'd seriously considered it so far, it seemed too sentimental, too embarrassing to really go through with such a gesture.

_I'm like a teenager with his or her first boyfriend,_ Magnus thought with a smirk, his expression slowly softening into a helpless smile as he flipped through pictures of Alec looking so young and carefree, so happy during their travels. Without Jace, could Alec ever really be that happy again? Once, Magnus would have sneered at the idea of taking so much responsibility for someone else's happiness. It was impossible, after all, to ever live in such a way as to be certain that you were making the person you loved happy. But as futile as it might be, Magnus was determined to try.

Magnus had decided weeks ago that he was going to do anything he could to make Alec really and truly happy, to see him smile as he had that day in Vienna, before they'd gotten the message from Maryse calling them back to New York, when they'd had to face the truth: they loved each other, but there was no guarantee that they could stay together, no way to stop time's inexorable march toward a day when Alec would be gone. And though Alec was sleeping quietly in the next room, young and healthy and beautiful, Magnus sensed that they didn't have much time left to find an answer. The disappearance of Jace and the reappearance of Sebastian Morgenstern signaled to Magnus that the world he'd thought he knew was changing in strange and dangerous ways, and if he wanted to hold onto Alec, he would have to move fast…


	28. Chapter 28

Hi everyone! This week's chapter is a bit short again, and I apologize in advance for the fact that this is another angsty chapter too, but next week, you're getting a lemon, so try to look forward to that as you read today. :) In this chapter, I explore Alec's decision to meet with Camille (yes, it was a thoroughly bad idea, but here's my take on why he did it.) Thanks once again for all your kind reviews, and I'll see you again next Saturday! :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and I really like the guys they cast for Magnus and Alec. Seriously, they're both very handsome and…[goes and looks at more pictures of them, swoons.]

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Alec's POV

Glancing down at the blue scarf he was wearing, Alec scowled. The scarf seemed somehow symbolic of his current mood: rather than a cheerful blue, it was the sky darkened by storm clouds, deep water too perilous to dive into, but still dangerously enticing. A cool breeze whipped through Alec's hair then, and his scowl deepened as he tightened the scarf around his neck.

In stories, it always seemed so simple: Alec wasn't much for fiction, but he remembered the stories his mother had told him when he was very young, the books he'd read when he was just learning to read. Shadowhunter stories often took dark turns, but mundane fairy tales seemed to be invariably saccharine, unless you stuck to the unedited versions, which were as grim as any Shadowhunter tale. Of course, stories for small children were supposed to be uncomplicated, and in most of those that Alec remembered, a poor but beautiful girl would fall in love with a handsome prince and miraculously find her love returned. They would brave many dangers together, but ultimately, they always emerged from their struggles victorious. Happiness seemed so easy in such tales.

Stories involving couples always seemed to end with the statement "and they lived happily ever after," but that phrase seemed like a cop-out to Alec now. What did it really mean? How could the princess know that the prince really loved her? What proof did the prince have that the princess deserved his love? Could they really live happily together when there were so many things, so many doubts and insecurities and imperfections that could tear them apart?

Alec glanced up at the intermittent clouds above him before glaring down at the pavement again. He wondered if it was going to rain today—maybe he should have brought an umbrella. And maybe he would have, if he and Magnus hadn't argued that morning, and if Alec _could_ have taken an umbrella, or anything else from Magnus's apartment, without worrying that some former lover had given it to him…Immortality really had become the third person in their relationship (to say nothing of all the people who had been in relationships with Magnus before, who irritated and fascinated Alec in equal measure).

_Since Jace disappeared, I've been so worried and exhausted that I've barely had the energy for monogamy_, Alec thought. Then he rolled his eyes at himself—perhaps in Jace's absence, he was becoming more like his brother than he'd ever been previously, to the point of making a joke out of unpleasant situations. It was, Alec had to admit, not the worst coping mechanism he could think of, but all it did was momentarily distract him from his problems. Joking wouldn't solve anything.

Though Alec knew that there were more important matters to take care of first, he was painfully aware of the fact that there was still the hurdle of immortality for him to overcome if he was going to be with Magnus long term, and Alec was willing to do almost anything to make that happen. However, he knew that willingness in the abstract wasn't doing them any good. He knew that they needed a concrete solution, sooner rather than later. All they had to do was find it.

Was it possible that Camille, whose age and knowledge rivaled Magnus's, might be able to provide them with a clue? Of course, if Alec was really going to consult the vampire, he had to ask himself if it was worth the risk. He'd never told Magnus about finding Camille chained to a pipe in the building that Jace had disappeared from, and he had no idea how his boyfriend would react if he did.

He'd tried to think about the conversation with Camille from that night as seldom as possible, but now it was clear to Alec that honest or not, Camille was immortal, and unlike Magnus, was not preoccupied with his wellbeing. She wouldn't try to shield him from the truth, if he could get her to tell it, and even if the information she gave him was bad news, at least he would finally know. Alec knew that Magnus wanted to protect him, wanted what was best for him, but he also knew that for their relationship to work, he needed to be able to protect Magnus too. They needed to be equals.

Magnus couldn't be forever rescuing Alec and his friends without compensation: Alec already felt that one lifetime was not nearly enough to show the man he loved just _how much_ he loved him. It would require several additional decades, at least, for Alec to show Magnus how grateful he was for his intelligence, his generosity, and his strength, which sometimes seemed like the only thing he could rely on. Alec had felt weak and lost so often lately: without Magnus, he didn't know what he would have done, and he intended to spend ample time showing the warlock just how much that meant to him.

_Magnus won't be happy if he finds out that I've been talking to Camille,_ Alec thought grimly, _but too damn bad! Neither of us is happy like this, waiting and wondering and never getting any closer to an answer. He's older than me and smarter than me, but he won't talk to Camille about this, so if there's even just a chance that she can give us some answers…I'll have to talk to her. For both our sakes._

_ And so I can prove that it's not just a fluke that we're together,_ a quiet voice inside of Alec whispered. _If I can be the one to find a way for us to stay together, then I'll know that I'm good enough for him._

All Alec had to do was get one troublesome vampire to cooperate. He would go see Camille, because he had to find _something_, anything that he and Magnus could use to stay together. What could possibly go wrong?


	29. Chapter 29

Happy Saturday, everyone! Here, at long last, is a new lemon; it takes place right after Alec comes home from meeting with Camille and Magnus pulls him into bed. :) I hope you enjoy today's lemony goodness, because the next such episode is a few chapters away, and after that one, we'll be getting into...the unpleasantness. (You know what I mean [goes and cries in the corner].) Thanks as always for your great reviews, and I'll see you again next week! :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and only a little more than a year until "The City of Bones" movie! :)

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Magnus's POV

As he and Alec kissed, Magnus was glad that he'd returned safely from Crazytown. It was clear that Alec was keeping some kind of secret, but Magnus decided that he'd worry about that later. Right now, given that circumstances had kept them apart on so many nights lately, and given that Alec was now spread out on top of him, kissing him deeply and warming him despite the slight chill that clung to his skin, Magnus felt quite sure that whatever Alec was hiding would keep until morning.

After shifting Alec a little so that he could pull back the blanket that separated them, Magnus pulled Alec against him again, savoring the feeling as their bare chests touched. Lately, their romantic encounters had mostly been of the rushed variety, but tonight, Magnus felt too languid to hurry, and Alec seemed tired, which perhaps explained why he didn't protest Magnus's slow exploration of his muscles, the lines of his face, the marks that covered his skin. "Mmm, you're much nicer than a blanket, you know," Magnus said playfully, kissing Alec on the nose.

Alec smiled. "Wow. I don't know if I should thank you, or declare that the saddest compliment ever uttered."

"Well, I might be able to come up with some more flattering and accurate words of praise if you'd like to show me in what specific ways you're better than a blanket," Magnus purred, chuckling and then gasping a little when Alec pressed him down into his pillow and began to kiss and nip at his neck. Then Magnus felt Alec's tongue against the sensitive flesh there, and as he felt his eyes roll back into his head for a moment, he wondered how long it had been since a mere hickey had last had the power to arouse him so totally. Suddenly, Alec drew away a little.

"You still have guests, don't you?" he said shyly. "I mean...we should be quiet, right?"

"You know I have this room soundproofed," Magnus said drily. "What? Are you worried your sister and her undead paramour will hear us?"

"I know they won't hear us, and, eww, don't call him that," Alec said, bracing himself on his knees and elbows so that there was a little space between them, but Magnus was pleased to see that Alec made no move to actually climb off him. "I'm just a little…unnerved at the idea of doing anything when my little sister is in the next room."

"Duly noted," Magnus said, grabbing Alec by the shoulders and flipping him onto his back in one smooth motion, their positions abruptly reversed.

"Hey," Alec growled, suddenly flushing scarlet, but he didn't sound angry. He didn't _feel_ particularly angry either, his hard length pressed as it was against Magnus's balls.

"You said you were unnerved at the idea of doing anything," Magnus said patiently. "However, I'll be more than happy to do everything for you tonight."

"…well, if you insist," Alec said, grinning up at Magnus after only an instant's hesitation. Magnus returned his smile, and with a snap of his fingers, he had Alec tied to the bed, using the scarves that hung in his closet to twine around Alec's limbs and body. Chuckling, Magnus admired the sight for a moment; Alec looked like he was wrapped in colorful snakes, perhaps the main attraction in some odd (and rather kinky) magic show. For a second, Alec looked surprised, but then he grinned again.

"We…haven't done this in a while," he said, licking his lips in what seemed to be a helpless tick signaling his desire.

Magnus shrugged. "Well, if I tied you up every night, then it would never surprise you. I like keeping you on your toes, as it were, so I can better understand what you really like."

"I…I like this," Alec whispered, and Magnus felt him shiver as he leaned down and trailed a series of wet kisses along his chest, stopping to use his tongue and teeth on Alec's nipples. "Maybe I…ah…I'm strong…so maybe I like…feeling helpless…oh, Magnus…"

Magnus was running his hands along Alec's hips now, stopping to trace the lines of his abdomen with his tongue; really, Magnus found himself positively ravenous for a taste of Alec's flesh tonight, so he decided to stop teasing the boy and give him what he really wanted. Pulling down Alec's boxers, Magnus immediately kissed the tip of him, licked away a few small beads of moisture, and then proceeded to take nearly all of Alec's length into his mouth in one swift motion. Above him, Alec groaned loudly.

The scarves held him down to the point that he couldn't thrust much, and Magnus chuckled, knowing full well that the vibration from that would only further rile up the poor boy. Just to tease him further, he ran his teeth ever so gently along Alec's length before taking him to the hilt again, and Alec moaned desperately as Magnus moved his tongue, all the while sucking Alec's firm flesh. Then, just because he was in the mood to do this at a somewhat leisurely pace, he removed his mouth from Alec's length and turned his attention to Alec's balls instead. Sucking first one, then the other, Magnus chuckled again as Alec whimpered,

"Hey…stop…go back…Magnus…ah, please!"

"Of course, dear," Magnus said cheerfully, moving up to press a chaste kiss to Alec's cheek before lubing up his fingers. "Whatever you like. You only have to ask."

"Ha," Alec said weakly, moaning again when Magnus, in addition to sucking on the tip of him, eased one finger inside his entrance. Magnus ran his finger along the tight ring of flesh, slowly slicking it up before sliding into Alec, who bucked a little at that, moaning when Magnus grazed his prostate. He continued to lick and suck at Alec as he slid a second finger inside him, and judging by the sounds he was making, Alec was nearly finished. A few more times up and down the length of Alec's shaft and Magnus felt him coming, his body shuddering all over as a taste that seemed uniquely Alec's hit the warlock's tongue.

Magnus groaned a little too then—blow jobs were something else that, until meeting Alec, had largely lost their erotic charm; it seemed to some lovers to be a sort of formality, a kind of exchange to be taken care of quickly so other activities could commence. But there had been nights when he and Alec had done little more than this. Alec's clumsy early efforts had improved considerably with practice, and now, Magnus knew that he'd hardly last longer than Alec had if the delicious boy were to return the favor tonight. However, Magnus had something else in mind now.

With another snap of his fingers, the scarves holding Alec returned to their pegs, and Alec lay in the center of the bed, panting and squirming a little as Magnus continued to move his fingers inside him.

"Get on your hands and knees," Magnus instructed quietly, and out of breath as he was, Alec moved with admirable speed to comply with the request. Magnus was feeling a little desperate himself now, so after covering his own length with lube, Magnus removed his fingers from Alec, crawled behind him, and pressed into him in one hard motion.

They both moaned at the suddenness of his entrance; though Alec's knees stayed beneath Magnus, holding them both up, he let his arms slide down so that his head was buried in a pillow. Gripping Alec's hips, Magnus withdrew before slamming into him again furiously, Alec's tightness making him shiver all over with delight.

"Ahh!" Alec cried, and sliding a hand between his legs, Magnus found that he was hard again.

"I love the stamina rune," Magnus breathed into his ear, and Alec made a sound that was somewhere between a chuckle and moan. Despite his muscles, Alec seemed so soft and pliant beneath him in moments like this; it felt so good to simply let go and surge into him over and over again, with Magnus beginning to groan himself when he felt the end approaching, his whole body tightening crazily before, with a loud cry, he exploded into Alec, who came again against Magnus's hand. Alec's legs slid against the sheets until he was no longer resting on his knees, but laying flat instead, and then they simply lay in a sweaty heap for several minutes, both of them struggling to catch their breath as little aftershocks jolted through them.

"Wow," Alec muttered. "I'm so glad you soundproofed this room."

"Actually, I was kidding about that," Magnus said, chuckling when Alec tensed beneath him.

"That's very funny," Alec said, rolling over and glaring at Magnus, though the glare was a little weak—Alec looked like he was about to fall asleep. "I'm just glad that we were able to enjoy ourselves tonight without scarring my sister for life."

"Likewise," Magnus murmured, pulling the blanket over them and hugging Alec close. Within seconds, Alec was asleep, and Magnus felt himself on the verge of nodding off. Still, he took a moment to wonder where Alec had gone that night.

_What was he doing? And why wouldn't he tell me about it?_ Magnus wondered. Finding no answers to these questions though, Magnus too was soon asleep.


	30. Chapter 30

Hi everyone! This week's chapter is another short, angsty one, I'm afraid. In it, just before they arrive at the lake in CoLS, Alec and then Magnus both reflect on the conversation they just had about Alec's father, and how Alec's coming out has caused members of the Clave to treat him differently. I feel like Alec would have really wanted to tell Magnus the truth about Camille at this point, but that he'd feel like he couldn't for the reasons I explore below. (And don't worry, the next chapter is a lemon, but I'm sad to say that it's the second to last one in this series, so be sure to enjoy it. :)) Thanks as always for your wonderful reviews, and I'll see you again next Saturday! :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and they've started filming "City of Bones." SO EXCITED! :)

Chapter Thirty: Alec's POV

As they took the turnoff that led to the lake, everyone was quiet. Alec thought about his father's most recent reaction to his having a boyfriend; he didn't really feel angry about it, but rather, he was a bit exasperated that his father had decided that something must have _made_ him gay. That wasn't what had him preoccupied though; really, he was just tired, _so_ tired of going behind Magnus's back by talking to Camille.

It wasn't that he was doing anything wrong exactly. He'd dismissed the idea of convincing Magnus to give up his immortality, but now that his initial reason for seeking out the vampire was gone, he was still fascinated by everything she knew about Magnus, all the times, in the years of knowing him, that Camille had seen facets of Magnus's personality that Alec had barely glimpsed. Camille could tell him about the world as it had been when she'd first met Magnus, could explain to Alec objectively how lonely immortality could be, and how it could do a lot worse to someone than driving them into the arms of countless lovers.

When he talked to Camille, Alec could really begin to believe that he _was_ special to Magnus—he must be, if Magnus had chosen him over Camille's eerie perfection—and he felt like he could understand the person that Magnus had been before they'd met. He always seemed so youthful, so in love with life, that until Alec had met Camille, it had been easy for him to forget how old Magnus really was. When Alec saw the chilly countenance of Camille, when he heard her descriptions of past places and people, often delivered in an icy tone of indifference that seemed unique to vampires, the perils of immortality seemed obvious.

Considered in the abstract, immortality might easily appear to be a blessing, until you stopped to really think about what it entailed. Yes, you'd get to live forever...but that didn't mean you'd get to live _happily_ forever. Eternity was a long time to have to endure less positive emotions. Feelings of isolation, hopelessness, despair, feelings that might stretch on interminably—Alec had never really given much thought to that side of immortality.

To hear Camille talk, Alec was glad, for the first time in weeks, that he wasn't immortal. Though it sounded like Magnus had enjoyed his extensive time on earth more than most, Alec found that he no longer felt as jealous or hurt as he once had at the thought of Magnus's many conquests. Of course Magnus had had a life before meeting him. And with Camille to compare him too, Alec could see what past lovers had meant to Magnus: they'd been a means of staying connected to the world, of surviving, of trying to be happy when life, rather than being something finite to treasure, was more of an exercise in endurance than anything else.

Alec wished he could find the words to explain to his father that nothing had made him gay; he'd been born gay, just as Magnus had been born a warlock. Neither had chosen to be what they were, and even if he could have changed, Alec decided that he wouldn't. He didn't think that Magnus would either. Together, maybe they could enjoy their lives just as they were, and not worry about being something else.

Alec didn't want to change when he was with Magnus, and though he still dreamed of finding a way that they could spend the rest of their lives together, Alec realized now that that alone couldn't guarantee happiness for either of them. Alec knew that he needed to make the most of the time he had with Magnus instead of obsessing over finding a solution that might not exist. If he couldn't become immortal, and if Magnus couldn't become mortal, then Alec would find a way to live with that. Now, as they held hands and rode toward the lake, all Alec wanted was to show Magnus how much he loved him, how much he meant to him…and part of doing so, he was certain, meant telling his boyfriend about his covert meetings with Camille. Now wasn't the time for that though. Instead, Alec's squeezed Magnus's hand tighter has he drove…

Magnus's POV

Magnus tried not to sigh. It irked him, being so close to Alec yet feeling as if they were a thousand miles apart. Alec was clearly lost in thought, and Magnus didn't blame him—he tried to imagine his own father, and he wondered how that long-dead man might have reacted to his son's diverse sexual predilections.

Of course, he hadn't really been that man's son—that man who'd hated him for the demon blood in his veins, though he hadn't really known what sort of creature his wife had brought into the world. Compared to the matter of his less than wholly human characteristics, Magnus doubted that his human "father" had ever cared who he might be interested in sleeping with. Which, when you considered the fact that his actual father was a demon and both his human parents had suspected and feared as much, wasn't exactly surprising.

Magnus considered the pressure of Alec's fingers against his as he drove. He could think of nothing to say that could make things right, that would comfort Alec or convince him that his father still loved him, even if he'd become distant and less than tactful when talking about his son's love life lately. Since being nominated for the position of Inquisitor, Magnus didn't doubt that Robert Lightwood had been under a lot of pressure…which didn't change the fact that Magnus wanted to punch him in the face for saying something so stupid to Alec.

How to deal with one's father was a subject that Magnus knew next to nothing about, but he recognized that Alec's father was different than his. He loved his children, even if he didn't always approve of the people they saw socially, and Magnus was confident that given enough time (and perhaps a bit of distance from the judgmental gossip of the Clave), Alec and his father wouldn't be estranged for too long. For now though, there was Jace to rescue, and Sebastian Morgenstern's terrible plan to stop. No matter how much Magnus wished that he could help Alec, he knew that the problems that had begun when Alec had kissed him back in Idris would have to be dealt with another day.


	31. Chapter 31

Hi everybody! This week's chapter is a fun one concerning Alec and Magnus while they waited to find out what might happen to Simon at the lake in CoLS. Here, Magnus and Alec are both a little frantic to feel close to each other in the midst of everything that's going on; thus, a lemon ensues, if only briefly. (I suppose it's a bit kinky, the two of them together right before the angel shows up, but convincing Alec to go along with something like that just seems like Magnus's style. :)) Thanks as always for your reviews, and I'll see you again next Saturday!

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and have you seen pictures from the "City of Bones" movie set? So pretty! :)

Chapter Thirty-One: Magnus's POV

"Do you guys mind?" Isabelle said quietly. "I—I'd like to be alone while we wait."

"Of course," Magnus said smoothly, pulling Alec toward the far side of the truck while Isabelle moved a few yards closer to the path that Simon had taken down to the lake. Then she sat down on the ground to wait.

Alec was clearly about to protest, but then he saw the stiff set of his sister's shoulders, and seemed to decide that arguing with Isabelle at that moment would provoke either violence or tears, or both. Then he allowed Magnus to pull him along. Magnus yanked roughly on Alec's collar to get him to move faster, and though Alec looked startled for a moment, when he saw Magnus's expression, his cheeks flushed, and he licked his lips.

"Simon's about to summon an angel, and you're turned on _because_?"

"I could ask you the same question," Magnus said, shoving Alec roughly against the side of the truck and sliding a hand down the front of his pants. Alec gasped and tried to grab Magnus, but abruptly, Magnus let him go. This was a bad enough idea without taking any kind of precautions first.

Blue sparks shot from his hands, and they were instantly enveloped by spells for silence and invisibility.

"So your sister won't see or hear us," Magnus explained. "Now, my guess is that we have about five minutes before Simon finishes chanting. What would you like to do until then?"

Alec responded by grabbing Magnus's head and kissing him furiously. Magnus returned the almost bruising kiss, their tongues colliding as they crushed their lips and bodies together. Magnus was sick of it, sick of feeling that disaster was just around the corner, that they were about to hear the worst about Jace, whatever that might be, and that they couldn't in good conscience take any time for themselves until the problem was resolved. Even worse was the feeling that even when Alec was right beside him, he wasn't really there—he'd been so much in his own head lately that Magnus was bound and determined to bring him back to reality, or at least a reality outside of his fears for his brother and whatever secrets he was keeping.

Physical intimacy probably wasn't the best way to improve their emotional intimacy, but just then, they didn't have time to have a long talk about the issues between them, and Magnus was tired of waiting for a quiet moment alone with Alec to talk about how he was really handling his feelings for his father, and the Clave, and Jace's disappearance. Magnus was frantic to do something, anything, to show Alec how much he loved him, how close they could be when they trusted each other. Clearly, Alec felt much the same as he did, because he kissed Magnus and tugged at the buttons of his shirt with force that was equal parts passion and desperation.

Magnus knew they couldn't very well get undressed—it was bad enough that they were doing this here and now, but he wasn't about to be caught in the nude when an angel appeared a few hundred yards away. Still, he savored the feeling of Alec opening his shirt and running his hands up and down his chest and then down to his stomach. Magnus gritted his teeth and pulled Alec's hands away, then turned Alec around so his arms were braced against the truck.

"Is this all right?" he whispered, unbuckling Alec's pants, then his own, and pausing to leave a dark hickey beneath Alec's right ear.

"Yeah, just hurry!" Alec hissed, and Magnus could feel him shaking as he spread his legs and leaned his head against the door—Magnus quickly thanked all that was holy and unholy that there was no way for either of them to see Isabelle from this angle. Moving one hand to Alec's erection again, Magnus grinned.

"At least we're of like minds about this," he murmured, producing lube from another shower of sparks and coating himself thoroughly with the stuff.

Alec groaned. "Make snide remarks _after_, please, Magnus," and then he moaned when Magnus surged inside him, effectively pinning him to the side of the truck.

"Mmm, I've wanted to do this all day," Magnus whispered, pulling most of the way out before slamming into Alec again. "There's no better—ungh—reliever of stress."

Alec cried out as Magnus thrust again, his fingers splayed against the side of the truck. "Y-you're the only thing—ahh!—s-stressing me out now—oh, yes, Magnus!"

"I'll be quiet then," Magnus said, his voice more of a growl now. "Let's both just concentrate on not falling down, all right?"

Alec didn't answer, but since he was moaning and writhing from Magnus's latest thrust, Magnus didn't hold it against him. That feeling of intense longing to be close in whatever way they could was back again, and now Magnus slid his fingers around Alec's length before gripping the head of him roughly, moving his hand and adjusting his strokes as he thrust and Alec trembled all over, his cries growing increasingly desperate. In little over a minute, they were both nearly finished.

Magnus slammed into him as hard as he could, his breathing labored and his bare chest slick with sweat—a little moisture was wiped away every time he was completely inside Alec, his chest touching his lover's back. Suddenly, Alec was coming, his muscular body going almost limp save for his legs, which he did manage to keep from buckling somehow. He stood still for a few more seconds as Magnus, finally spent, thrust into him once more before coming hard, his own body shaking as he pressed his face into Alec's back to muffle his own cries and clasping his arms around Alec's chest with such force that it must be difficult to breathe. Magnus slid out of him, fastened his pants, then pulled Alec down to a sitting position on the ground, where they tried to clean themselves up as best they could with some napkins from Alec's pocket until Magnus gave up and used magic to fix their disheveled states.

"Thanks," Alec said, smiling at him. "That was…a really good idea. I mean, this was a terrible time and place for it, but—"

"I agree, but given that I very nearly ran the car off the road in my distraction from wanting you today—more than once, I might add—at least this way, the trip back might be a bit safer."

Alec grinned, and for a moment, this was a normal, post-coital conversation. "That was strictly in the interest of safety, then? You had sex with me—"

"At what I admit was an inappropriate time and place—" Magnus put in.

"—for purely selfless reasons?"

Magnus grinned. "I'll have you know that I can be very selfless at times…though this particular time isn't really a good example."

Just then, there was a sound behind them—Isabelle gasping. With a sigh, Magnus stood up, preparing to help Alec but finding that he was already on his feet, moving with the speed of a Shadowhunter who was ready for anything, even an angel. Together, they hurried around to the other side of the truck and joined Isabelle, who was staring down at the light emanating from the lake. Magnus took Alec's hand; touching him now was merely reassuring, not passionate. Their pleasant interval alone was over—the angel was about to arrive.


	32. Chapter 32

Hi everyone! This week's chapter offers a glimpse into Alec's thoughts shortly before the big battle at the end of CoLS. First though, it's time for some good news and some bad news. The good news: there's some nice fluff between Alec and Magnus in the following chapter. (And if there are any "Firefly" fans reading this, look out for a line inspired by Jayne's cunning hat; I like to imagine Magnus and Alec watching shows like that together…:)) The bad news: no lemon this time, and because of my upcoming vacation (my first ever since getting a full-time job, and the first time I've been home since I moved to Illinois back in February), there won't be any new chapters for two weeks.

Sorry in advance for being gone so long, but realistically, I'm just not going to be able to get chapters posted while I'm traveling. (I may try to write out a couple of chapters, but we'll see how that goes…) However! When I get back, you will be getting a lemon, so look forward to that. :) Thanks as always for your reviews, as well as your patience, and I'll see you again on September 22nd. (I promise, it'll be here before you know it! And then, you'll be getting one more lemon before…the unpleasantness occurs. :P)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and the "City of Bones" movie is less than a year away! So exciting! :)

Chapter Thirty-Two: Alec's POV

As he prepared for the battle to come, in the back of his mind, Alec was wondering what else he could (or should) have told Izzy when she'd asked how he and Magnus were doing. What could he have said, really? Now wasn't the time for conversations like that. Soon, they would be risking their lives, and some people might not be coming home, but at least tonight, they were finally going to rescue Jace.

Of course, that was the best case scenario. In reality, they would either rescue Jace and stop Sebastian or die trying. If he died, Alec hoped that Magnus would be all right, that he and Izzy and everyone who loved him would find a way to go on and be happy without him. (Alec didn't like to imagine what he'd do if Magnus or Izzy or anyone else died; possibilities like that were a lot harder to face than that of his own death.) If they failed to capture or kill that Morgenstern bastard, or if Jace was lost…well, Alec would face that if he had to. For now though, he was imagining what he hoped would happen tonight.

Alec wasn't exactly an optimistic person in general; he tended to expect the worst in hopes of seeing ways to avoid it. But tonight, he was thinking of the outcome he wanted, the one they might realize if he and everyone else fought hard enough. Jace would be rescued, Sebastian would be killed, and this whole nightmare would end at last. Then everything would be okay again, and by extension of that rose-tinged outcome, Alec and Magnus would be happy again too. They'd be able to talk to each other the way they had after leaving Idris together, when they'd seemed to have unlimited time together to explore the world and each other…when they'd talked about anything and everything without any secrets coming between them.

As he prepared his weapons for the fight ahead, Alec wondered how much Magnus knew or suspected about his meetings with Camille. He didn't seem angry exactly, but over the past few days, he'd seemed a bit sad, hurt even, as if he could feel the gap between them and was wondering, as Alec often had, how to bridge it. Alec though he knew better now; there was probably no way to ever overcome the hundreds of years that divided them, to say nothing of Magnus's immortality. He saw now that if he wanted to be with Magnus, he would just have to learn to live with it.

There was no question in Alec's mind that Magnus deserved that, to say nothing of the fact that Alec knew he'd be better off too, if only he could stop obsessing over their differences and focus on the things they shared. Though Alec knew that he wasn't about to overcome his insecurities overnight, he knew that as long as Magnus loved him, then there was no point in getting so worked up about being mortal. Shadowhunters, mundanes, and Downworlders might all live their brief lives, or endure long eternities, without ever experiencing the kind of love that he and Magnus shared. That reality seemed so obvious now.

Losing Jace had terrified Alec, but now, when they were so close to finally getting him back, Alec could see past his fear and acknowledge just how lucky he was to have the people he loved and who loved him in return. Knowing that he would lose those people someday, that their time together was limited, didn't make him love anyone any less, especially Magnus. It scared him, sure, but Alec knew that Magnus was worth being brave for. If he could battle demons without flinching, then certainly, Alec told himself, he could learn to love someone without being consumed by fear over how that love might end.

"Almost ready?" Magnus asked, appearing in the doorway. He'd gone back to the apartment to change clothes, but now he was back at the Institute, watching Alec outfit himself with some of his favorite items from the weapons room. The armor that Magnus was wearing looked strong, ornate, and…shiny. Very shiny.

"Yeah, but I suddenly feel like I'm underdressed."

Magnus brushed a strand of hair away from his forehead airily. "What, this old thing? A former lover gave it to me. He was heir to a great sequin-related fortune."

"Is that right?" Alec said with a smile, happy that he could be amused by a concept that had led him to start a fight not long ago, and that Magnus had recognized that his past wasn't such an issue anymore. Of course, they were about to enter a dangerous battle from which they might not return. Alec couldn't really think of anything that would be an insurmountable issue right now. Not when they might only have a few hours, or even a few minutes left together. "Well, you look…very nice. I mean…you walk into battle looking like that, people know you're not afraid of anything."

"Thank you," Magnus said, crossing the room and taking his hands.

"Sorry, if we had more time, I could think of something…better to say," Alec said lamely. Magnus leaned forward then and silenced him with a kiss.

"For luck," he said simply. "Though we're going to need a lot more than that tonight."

"Yeah," Alec said uneasily. "Listen—stick close to me, all right? I mean, I know you can take care of yourself, and obviously, you're wearing armor, but—"

"But armor isn't foolproof, and as such, I will be careful," Magnus promised. "You be careful too, Alec. I've had enough of patching up grievous injuries done to your person to last me an eternity."

Alec nodded, swallowing hard. He imagined losing Magnus tonight—was getting Jace back really worth that?—and suddenly, there were so many things he needed to say. "Magnus, I—"

_I love you, I want you for _forever_, but I'll take a lifetime if you can give me that_, Alec thought, the words on the tip of his tongue but somehow still tangled up in his mind, unable to find coherence. _It's more than I deserve anyway, a lifetime with you, and it isn't much, in the grand scheme of your life, but Magnus…I love you more than anything, and we both have to survive tonight so I can explain things to you, so I can apologize and show you how much you mean to me..._

Just then, Alec heard his mother's voice calling for them. It was time for Magnus to open the portal—time for the battle to be joined.

"Come on," Magnus said, squeezing his hands once more before releasing them. "Time to go."


	33. Chapter 33

Hi everyone! I'm finally back; I had a great time visiting my family in Michigan, so thanks for waiting so patiently while I was on vacation. This week's chapter is a fun one: it's a lemon which I hope you'll enjoy, because it's the last lemon before…the unpleasantness. That's right, in the next chapter, we finally deal with SPOILER ALERT, COME ON, IF YOU HAVEN'T READ "CITY OF LOST SOULS" YET, SERIOUSLY STOP READING RIGHT NOW! Magnus and Alec's breakup. I know. I promise that I'm just as upset as you are. However, I do plan to do at least one sort of coda chapter in which they get back together, so don't lose heart! Thanks for your reviews, continue to ship Malec in spite of how CoLS ended, and I'll see you again next week. :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and have you seen the videos from the TMI cast members? So pretty! AHH, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MAGNUS AND ALEC TOGETHER!

Chapter Thirty-Three: Magnus's POV

For a while, things were a bit hazy and confused. Magnus remembered talking with Alec, and smiling at Alec's relief that the wound hadn't been fatal. He registered being hurt, but then he managed a quick spell to heal the pain. Unfortunately, though it was soon clear that he was out of danger, Magnus quickly realized that in his haste, he hadn't taken enough energy from Alec. He was drowsy instead of in pain then, which was more than a little inconvenient given their surroundings, but Alec was there, and Magnus could tell that his armor had stopped the wound he's sustained from being even worse, so all told, he felt he didn't have much reason to complain.

The next thing he knew, Alec was helping him to his feet. Somehow, he managed to conjure a portal back to New York, though in the back of his mind, the fact that he could barely keep his eyes open worried him a bit. It was only when he and Alec were crawling into bed back at his apartment that he allowed himself a sigh of relief; not only had they made it through the battle, in spite of his exhaustion, he'd really managed a portal back to the New York Institute. (He'd had a brief moment of worry that he was going to accidentally send everyone to Antarctica.) Merely surviving and getting home to bed wasn't the most conspicuous of victories, but it was perhaps Magnus's favorite outcome of a battle. And Jace—they had him back. When Alec hugged him close, Magnus decided that he would wait until morning to be irritated with Alec's parabartai.

Magnus fell asleep within moments of his head hitting the pillow, but he woke before sunrise to find Alec awake, running a hand along the spot on his chest where the wound had been a few hours before. He smelled faintly of cool nighttime air, and Magnus guessed that he'd gone to visit Jace at the Institute to see how he was faring. Presumably, he was doing well or as well as could be expected if Alec was back here.

"Do you want to borrow some of my strength again?" Alec whispered suddenly in the darkness.

Magnus blinked drowsily at him. "That seems…apropos of nothing. I could sleep for a few more hours instead of taking—wait. Is this your attempt to initiate 'relief because we're not dead' sex?"

"Yes, but can we call it something else?" Alec said, smiling. "Like, 'I'm just glad you're alive' sex. Or…'everything turned out okay' sex. Those both sound better to me."

"Let's discuss it later," Magnus said, blinking rapidly to keep his eyelids from closing involuntarily. "Hold still now—we're both tired, so I'm only going to take a little…"

Alec sighed as Magnus took his hands, draining a little energy and feeling Alec's pulse against his fingertips as power flowed into him. He let go before he really began to feel wide awake; he still felt a bit drowsy, but he was no longer weary to the point of exhaustion. Rather, he felt cozy and sleepy, like this was a dream in which he and Alec were about to do sexy things to each other. The fact that it was real, and not a dream, only made that sensation even better.

"What is it?" Alec whispered. He didn't look any worse for wear, in terms of tiredness, but his expression was a bit dreamy now. As if sensing Magnus's mood, he leaned forward, licking his lips a little, and Magnus smiled. There was no emergency to stop them from enjoying each other's company now…

"I was just thinking sexy thoughts," Magnus said, grinning as he wrapped his arms around Alec, who smiled too.

"You could tell me about the specifics of that, I guess, or you could just show me."

Magnus chuckled happily in the darkness. "It would be my pleasure."

He kissed Alec then, and for a few minutes, they were both preoccupied with kissing and nipping at each other's lips. Magnus sighed happily as Alec ran his hands all over his back, digging into the muscles there, and Magnus sucked eagerly at each of Alec's nipples in turn. This was the way things should always be, with nothing to stop them from being as close as two people could be, nothing but bear flesh and frenzied kisses and loving caresses. Of course, loving caresses and impatient ones were sometimes synonymous.

Alec chuckled throatily, then groaned when Magnus quickly pulled him onto his side, crawled under the sheets, and took Alec in his mouth. From that angle, Alec could reciprocate, and he immediately did, which made Magnus all the more dedicated to licking every inch of Alec's length. He sucked at the head of Alec's cock for several moments before taking all of him again, and all the while, Alec was licking him and moaning.

The vibration from the sounds that Alec made did delicious things to Magnus's own length, and soon he was shivering all over and just hoping that Alec was getting an adequate amount of air as they each thrust desperately into each other's mouths while sucking the other. Magnus was just trying to remember whether or not the tongue was really the strongest muscle in the body when Alec came, and his guttural shout was all Magnus needed to come himself. After swallowing Alec's release, he licked the tip of him and smiled as Alec shuddered with aftershocks. They lay like that for several minutes, sweating and satisfied in the middle of the bed, and then Alec chuckled weakly against Magnus's length.

"You know…if it weren't for the stamina rune, there's no way I'd even come close to lasting as long as you can."

"Mmm, the stamina rune," Magnus said appreciatively. "The Nephilim's greatest achievement." He stroked Alec's length then, smiling when he felt him stir. "Thanks to that wonderful invention, you'll be ready again in a moment, won't you?"

Alec grinned. "I thought you were tired."

"I was," Magnus said, gently pushing Alec back against the pillows and spreading his legs. "But you're giving me an excellent reason to stay awake a little longer."

In spite of his own recent orgasm, Magnus was hard again too. He slid into Alec easily, and Alec moaned beneath him, wrapping his legs around Magnus as he began to stroke into him with slow, steady thrusts. Alec was soon whimpering quietly, and Magnus groaned when he felt Alec's fingers dig into his hips hard enough to bruise in his desperation to have him closer.

"Is that—okay?" Alec managed, his voice breathless.

"Oh, very okay," Magnus said immediately. "Would you like me to be a little rougher too, Alec?"

Alec nodded eagerly, then gasped in shock and disbelief when Magnus pulled out of him.

"Get on your knees and grab the headboard," Magnus instructed. "We haven't had time for this lately, and that burst of energy I got from you just now has me in the mood to remind you how much fun we can have together, given ample time."

Alec swallowed hard in anticipation, then turned over and gripped the headboard as Magnus had told him to. Immediately, Magnus was surging into him, grabbing Alec's hips and gripping them hard as he thrust. Alec moaned loudly, and Magnus began to groan himself as he continued to thrust, faster and faster until the headboard was slamming furiously into the wall. Suddenly, Alec's cries reached a crescendo of ecstasy, and he was coming hard, his body shuddering all over in a fit of undulating pleasure. Magnus grinned in the darkness and responded by lifting Alec's hips and beginning to thrust even harder.

"Ah!" Alec said desperately, his body twitching with desire again after just a few hard thrusts. "How can you—ugh—again, already?"

"What's the point," Magnus panted, "of having awesome magical powers…if I can't get hard whenever I want to?"

Alec made a sound then that was somewhere between a laugh and moan. "What, you can…control that?"

"When I really want to," Magnus said, gritting his teeth. "Now, hold on, my little Nephilim. Just give me a few more minutes and I'll be finished."

Alec groaned and buried his head in the pillows, his hands clutching the sheets as Magnus slammed into him harder than ever, the bed shaking and frame crashing into the wall hard enough to dislodge bits of plaster. Magnus knew that Alec felt as good as he did just then, but pleasure like this was so intense that it bordered on pain. Desperately, he continued thrusting, his own cries increasing in volume just as Alec's did. Alec was practically sobbing with relief and ecstasy when he came again, and this time, Magnus was right there with him, his release so forceful that it had him teetering on a wonderful edge between pain and incomparable pleasure. Groaning, he collapsed at last against Alec's back, which, though slick with sweat at first, soon cooled and dried as he and Alec lay there in a heap, panting and still shivering occasionally with echoes of their recent pleasure.

Finally, Magnus rolled off of Alec and lay sprawled on his back so they could look at each other.

"Now I think I'm ready to go back to sleep," Magnus announced drowsily.

Alec smiled blearily at him. "I'm glad to hear it, provided that you wake me up in a few hours and we do that again."

Magnus kissed Alec tenderly, then pulled a blanket over them both and snuggled close to Alec's side. "I think that can be arranged."


	34. Chapter 34

Hi everyone! (Sorry for updating late, but since I worked part of yesterday, it just made more sense to wait and edit this today.) This week's chapter is a bit short; someone asked, so I'll tell you right now that the following takes place after the break-up. I thought about rehashing the actual event in more detail, but I was more interested in how Alec and Magnus might cope (or rather, not cope very well at all) a few days after their final goodbye in CoLS. (I'm thinking that the immediate aftermath was pretty unpleasant for both of them, and since I'm sad enough about these two already, I decided to move ahead a little, in terms of the timeline of angst here.)

Next week, I'm going to try and have a sort of coda chapter ready that shows my idea of how these two might get back together, though since it's going to be long, it might take me longer than a week to get it done. Of course, since it's set during CoHF, it's all going to be speculation on my part. (And if the spirit moves me when the book finally comes out…in _2014_…I reserve the right to write more chapters based on what actually happens with Malec. We'll see though.) Thanks as always for your reviews, and hopefully I'll see you again next week!

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments" series, and I love that the actors playing Magnus and Alec have met now. SO AWESOME! :)

Chapter Thirty-Four: Alec's POV

Alec lay in his bed at the Institute, staring up at the ceiling and wondering if he was ever going to stop hurting. He couldn't sleep—he didn't think that he'd slept for more than a few minutes at a time since he'd last seen Magnus, because every time he drifted off, it happened all over again: Magnus in the tunnel…the witchlight and the kiss…Magnus saying goodbye. The feeling that he couldn't breathe, that his heart had been replaced by a searing hot brand that burned him every time he moved, every time he thought about what had happened, every time he drew a breath...

"Alec?" Isabelle called, knocking softly on his bedroom door. "Do you want something to eat?"

Alec said nothing.

"Alec, come on, we've barely seen you in days," Isabelle said, her voice tinged with both anger and worry. "Just come out here and have dinner, all right? We got pizza."

Alec sighed. A part of him felt bad for worrying Izzy, but that emotion was mostly drowned out by self-pity and self-loathing. Somehow, his grief over losing Magnus was made worse by the fact that he knew he deserved it. If he hadn't done what he'd done, if he hadn't been so stupid...

"Alec?" Isabelle called again, sounding only worried now. Alec sighed. He didn't want her thinking that he was going to hurt himself or something. How could he explain that he was so shattered by despair that he could barely move, let alone devise a plan to harm himself? Besides, Alec didn't want to escape this pain; not really. It was his penance, the price he had to pay for ever having even considered taking immortality away from Magnus, and maybe if he hurt badly enough, for long enough...well. Maybe he could start to be worthy of Magnus again. Someday.

"…I'm not hungry," Alec managed at last, his voice low and pained. He wondered when he'd last spoken to anyone.

Isabelle was silent for a moment, and Alec wondered vaguely if she was going to yell at him. He guessed he deserved that too. Then she heard her sigh.

"All right," she said softly. "Just…come eat with us whenever you're ready, okay?"

Alec didn't respond this time—just the thought of food made him feel a little sick. At the moment, everything reminded him of Magnus; he thought of all the dinners (pizza and otherwise) they'd shared, all the nights when Alec had looked up at the ceiling in Magnus's room, sometimes for only a few seconds before falling asleep in his lover's arms. Magnus, his first boyfriend…Magnus, his ex-boyfriend.

For a moment, Alec wished that he could cry. He hadn't cried when it had first happened, though in retrospect he guessed he'd been numb with shock. But even now, when he wanted to cry, when he craved some kind of catharsis, it eluded him. Alec guessed that maybe he didn't deserve any kind of relief now.

For a brief period, just after the battle with Sebastian, Alec had had everything he'd wanted: Jace was home, Magnus was his. Alec had thought that once they got Jace back, everything would be all right again, that things would unfailingly go the way they were supposed to. But now, Alec could see that saving Jace hadn't magically solved all his problems. Now there was another person that Alec couldn't live without, and Alec knew that he had hurt that person terribly.

_ My fault. This is all my fault_, Alec thought miserably. _I screwed everything up. I was never good enough for him before, and now I never will be…_

Though a part of Alec wanted to believe that there must be something he could do, some way to win back Magnus's trust and love, the despair that seemed to have settled into his skin, muscles, bones, _being_, told him that that was impossible. Alec had very little experience with heartbreak, but he knew from hearing stories of other people's romantic failures that trust, once lost, wasn't something easily recovered, if it could ever be recovered at all. Loving Magnus more than anyone wasn't enough; to win him back, Alec would have to…what? He didn't know. So, Alec stared up at the ceiling, his sorrow so huge that it made him mute, because what could he say, what could he do to ever make it go away?

Magnus's POV

Laying in bed with the lights off, Magnus didn't see Chairman Meow come in, but he heard the cat push open the door, which he'd left slightly ajar, and then he felt the impact of the cat's weight (little as it was) hitting the bed when he jumped up. Magnus opened his eyes and found the Chairman's pair of familiar gold-green eyes staring down into his own.

"Mrow?" the cat cried softly.

Magnus sighed. "No, Alec isn't here, and he isn't coming back either. I keep telling you that, but you won't listen to me."

Chairman Meow gave a sort of grumbling meow, then stepped onto Magnus's chest and lay down with a huff. Magnus sighed and tried to ignore the warm furry weight on his chest, though it constricted his breathing slightly.

"I wish I could be a cat tonight," Magnus said after a few moments of silence, "though I suppose that members of your species have your own heartaches and troubles. Still, your emotions seem simpler than mine. You're happy when I feed you and rub your belly. You're sad if I ignore you or don't clean the litter box every day."

Chairman Meow grunted in his sleep, and Magnus smiled faintly. "And of course, you get annoyed if I talk too much when you're trying to sleep on top of me." Then Magnus frowned.

"You don't love people who you don't think you can trust anymore. You don't miss them in spite of their doing things that should make you never want to see them again. And you don't feel sorry for yourself, whether the break-up was your idea or not."

Magnus had fallen in and out of love many times in his long life. He knew that in time, heartbreak always faded, and he would find love again, whether he went looking for it or not. But saying goodbye to Alec had hurt worse than the wound he'd gotten in the battle with Sebastian, and it had been a far worse parting than the one he'd had with Camille well over a century ago. Unlike with previous lovers, Magnus was unable to imagine a time when he wouldn't miss Alec, or when the thought of what Alec had contemplated doing to him wouldn't still hurt. Gently placing a hand on Chairman Meow's back, he stroked the sleeping cat, closed his eyes, and waited for sleep to give him some respite from thoughts of beautiful blue eyes.


	35. Chapter 35

Hi everyone! Sorry for the delay, but this week's chapter ended up taking a while to type and edit, in part because it's so long, but also because it deals with an incident that I just made up; I have no idea if we're going to see something like this in the next TMI book or not, but I thought that a battle like this seemed at least vaguely plausible. (Also, depending on what you read, my descriptions of wendigo aren't totally accurate here. Sorry, I'm not a Monstrumologist. :)) Since "City of Heavenly Fire" doesn't come out until 2014, I thought I'd write this coda chapter as a way of showing the kind of scenario where, _I_ think, Magnus and Alec might finally get back together. No lemon, sorry, but though I'm going to mark this story as complete after posting this, I plan to add one more lemony chapter in the near future….:) (Probably not until December though—I've got a lot of plans for other fic in November…)

For now though, thank you so much for reading "You and I" (I recommend songs of the same title by Queen and Wilco), and I hope you enjoy this sort-of-last chapter. When CoHF finally comes out though, I reserve the right to ignore this coda and write more mostly-canon fic about Magnus and Alec. Anyway, thanks as always for your reviews, and I'll see you later! :)

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare is the author of "The Mortal Instruments," and she suggested in a tweet that she might write some standalone stories about Magnus. Yes, please. PLEASE!

_Coda: You and I, Chapter Thirty-Five_

Alec's POV

Everywhere Alec looked, buildings were burning, people were screaming, and demons were tearing through the streets. So much blood and death; how many more lives would Sebastian's insane machinations claim before they could finally stop him? Alec tried not to think as he raced through the city, picking off demons where he could and relishing every time he struck one with an arrow or split a foul creature with his sword, because every time, he pictured his brother's killer. How were they ever going to stop that bastard?

It had been just a few hours since Sebastian had released a horde of demons in New York, and already, the city was in chaos. Alec had been taking a walk when it all started (since losing Magnus, he'd discovered that, as a coping mechanism, taking long walks was slightly preferable to drinking too much or laying in bed, wracked by misery). Now, he was gradually making his way toward the Institute. After a frantic call from Izzy, he'd agreed to get there as soon as he could, but now, as he passed Central Park, it was clear that that was going to be a lot easier said than done.

Suddenly, a horrible shrieking filled the air, and Alec covered his ears against the noise. He thought he recognized the sound from descriptions in books, but he could be wrong—he _hoped_ that he was wrong in his assessment of the sound. Then he heard a horrible scream, abruptly silenced, and then a terrible sucking sound filled the park. Cursing, Alec ran toward the noise. It was a wendigo, a demon that liked nothing more than to feast on living flesh. But then, as he approached the shrieking creature, a man-sized tangle of wings and loose skin on a skeletal frame, currently huddled over several desiccated corpses, the sight of blue sparks brought him up short.

Magnus, who must have been heading toward the Institute too, was shooting spells at the wendigo, who immediately turned to face its new, more interesting prey.

"No!" Alec shouted, firing an arrow at the thing. The wendigo was so fast and so thin that Alec's shot sailed harmlessly past, not even nicking the skeletal monster. Alec realized with horror how tired he was—Magnus too would be drained from fighting demons ever since he'd left his apartment. He might not have the strength to face a wendigo now—Alec wasn't sure that he did either. But they would have to try.

"Magnus!" Alec shouted, and as Magnus turned to face him, Alec was momentarily terrified—when Magnus looked at him, would there be hatred in his expression? Would he want or even accept his help now?

For a moment, Magnus simply looked surprised. Then he scowled, but not in an "I loathe you" sort of way. Really, Alec thought that the scowl was an exasperated one rather than an angry one; he'd had some experience with Magnus's scowls.

"Oh, you're here, are you? Lovely. Now my evening is complete."

Alec aimed another arrow at the wendigo while Magnus peppered the thing with magic. It squealed and retreated a few yards, but it made no move to flee. Its cavernous eyes watched them, the pupils huge and horrible as it stared, its mouth still dripping blood from its most recent human victim. Alec didn't know much about wendigos, except that you had to try and stop them as fast as you could, because paradoxically, the more they fed, the hungrier they became. And any creature, a demon in particular, was especially dangerous when it was hungry.

"We need to blind it," Alec said quickly. "It'll have a harder time catching and eating us if it can't see us. Aim for its eyes and—"

"I'll distract it, and you can shoot it," Magnus said decidedly. "If we can get it on the ground, get behind it and cut its head off. Otherwise, I'll try to manage a good blow through its chest, though it's going to take a lot of power to stop it that way..."

"Have you ever killed one of these before?" Alec demanded.

"Yes," Magnus said, glaring at him. "Have you?"

"No," Alec admitted. "I was just…checking to see that you had a reason for arguing."

Magnus raised his eyebrows. "You thought that I might just be arguing with you for the sake of arguing when there's a _wendigo_ trying to kill us?"

"I just, I wasn't sure you'd even talk to me when we saw each other again, let alone argue with me about something, so I was just…surprised," Alec said defensively.

A very faint smile flashed across Magnus's face. "Alec…aim for its neck." Then he charged the wendigo.

"Wait, Magnus!" Alec cursed as Magnus moved forward, drawing the creature's attention with another shower of sparks. Taking a deep breath, Alec aimed an arrow at the creature's right eye, then growled when he missed. He just needed to hit it, weaken it enough so that Magnus would have a chance to strike without the creature dodging, but after missing another shot, Alec could see that the wendigo was just too fast, and now it was just a few feet from Magnus.

Clearly, it didn't like being hit by the sparks that sprang from the warlock's hands—it kept jerking back and shrieking in pain. But for a wendigo, hunger was everything, and Alec realized with horror that unless they killed this creature, it would never stop hunting them. Now that it had identified them as prey, no strategy would be too clever to escape it, no pain would be too great to stop it, or even delay it for long. They needed to deal it a killing blow, soon, before it killed them.

Arrows clearly weren't working, so Alec drew his sword and charged toward the creature's back. It was the sort of unexpected, rash move that could sometimes catch a demon off guard—demons often expected that their prey would be as cunning as they were, so any sudden, risky moves could confuse them. Not this demon though. It glanced away from Magnus just long enough to snap at Alec, and then one of its horrible clawed hands lashed out at Alec, sending him crashing into a tree.

Alec heard Magnus call his name, and Alec thought briefly, _well, at least we're talking again._ Then he stood up, took a deep breath, and ran at the wendigo again. At this point, Alec's strategy consisted of simply getting in a blow, just doing something to distract the demon long enough for Magnus to hit it with any spell that might actually hurt it. He aimed his sword at the creature, noting how its clawed hands reached for Magnus even as it turned its head toward the approaching sword, its teeth bared.

With a yell, Alec launched himself at the demon. Before, he'd been trying to avoid the teeth and claws—not this time. The wendigo shrieked when Alec's sword sank into its stomach, but getting that close meant that he was within easy reach of the creature's fangs. The wendigo, having new prey so close, turned away from Magnus and pounced on Alec, knocking him to the ground, where he slid on the blood-slick grass for several seconds before stopping, the wendigo poised to strike above him. Alec drew a dagger, the only weapon he had left, and stabbed the wendigo's arm as its claws dug painfully into his shoulders, pinning him to the ground, and then it lowered its head to sink its teeth into him.

"Alec!" Magnus shouted, and then Alec screamed when fangs pierced his chest. The pain was so shocking that a second cry died in his throat, and though Alec could already feel himself losing consciousness, his own blood soaking his clothes now, he felt a moment of exasperation. Magnus might have a shot at getting away now, he should run while he still had the chance…

The hideous pain burning through his chest was suddenly halted by a blinding flash of blue light. Then Alec closed his eyes.

Magnus's POV

Magnus dropped to his knees after incinerating the wendigo. This wasn't the first demon he'd killed that night, and because of the strength of the spell it had taken to blow such a monster to smithereens, Magnus knew that he wouldn't be killing anything else tonight. He barely had enough strength left to stand. Though he was shaking with exhaustion, he forced himself to his feet to go to Alec, who was bleeding profusely and unconscious, his face already horribly pale.

Cursing, Magnus lifted him up as gently as he could—he was still alive, but he wouldn't be for long unless Magnus could get the bleeding to stop. He knew that it would cost him precious energy, but obviously there was no way he was going to carry Alec all the way to the Institute or his apartment, and healing a blood-soaked Shadowhunter in Central Park during some kind of demon invasion was clearly a bad idea too, so he would need a portal. Working fast, he held Alec tightly and opened one—the shrieks of other demons were getting closer every second, drawn by the smell of blood, and Magnus knew he only had a moment to decide where they should go.

At the Institute, they'd have help from the Shadowhunters. But at his apartment, they wouldn't have an audience, which was exactly what they'd have at the Institute…a potentially hostile audience. (Later, Magnus would have to decide if he trusted all of the Shadowhunters currently in residence at the New York Institute.) If Magnus was going to talk to Alec, and he was determined to finally break the long silence between them, assuming they survived the next few minutes, he wanted to do that alone. So, as the portal sent them spinning toward his apartment, Magnus held onto Alec and swore at him under his breath.

"You stupid, _stupid_, nephilim," he muttered. "You can't be an untrustworthy ass sometimes and my knight in shining armor other times. Dammit, Alec…"

And then they were in the apartment. Magnus, feeling a little woozy, closed the portal and checked that the wards that protected his building still held. Outside, he could hear less demon activity—perhaps they were massing somewhere for a major assault. For a moment, Magnus felt guilty for not taking them to the Institute: it could be under siege at that very moment. But then, as he crouched beside Alec and struggled to heal his wounds, an even more unpleasant thought occurred to him: if he had taken them to the Institute, would he be treated as a friend, or as an enemy?

Not every Shadowhunter staying at the Institute was exactly a friend to Downworlders, and Magnus wondered, if he appeared suddenly in the courtyard of the Institute, Alec wounded and maybe dying in his arms, would some of the nephilim assume he was Alec's attacker? The Lightwoods at least wouldn't jump to such a ridiculous conclusion. But other Shadowhunters, when faced with a warlock looming over an injured Shadowhunter, might strike first and ask questions later.

Gradually, Alec's wounds began to close. Magnus was relieved, but he could feel himself weakening rapidly. Before he lost consciousness himself, he needed to bandage what was left of Alec's injuries and get him into a bed. Then he needed to contact the Institute to tell them what was going on before sleeping, possibly for several days.

As if the thought of nephilim had summoned them, Magnus heard Alec's phone buzz. Pulling it out of Alec's pocket, he checked to see who it was before answering. "Dearest Isabelle, this isn't really a great time. Your brother and I just fought a wendigo, and now he's bleeding all over my floor."

"WHAT?!" Isabelle shouted.

"_Alec_ is bleeding all over my floor, not the wendigo," Magnus clarified. "It is dead, and now Alec and I are both fine, though your brother is going to need some rest, as his wounds were rather messy. And I'm going to need some sleep too, honestly, before either of us joins the fight again, because I'm about to collapse face-first into a pool of cooling blood. And I'm so exhausted, I might not even mind."

"Okay," Isabelle said slowly. "Well, at least Alec's okay. And at least you still have the energy to be snarky. And I guess your wards are holding, or I'd hear demons screaming in the background right now. So, you're really both okay for the time being?"

"Yes, so please don't worry," Magnus said, too tired to ask for an update on the demon army situation. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to hang up before I really pass out."

"Okay," Isabelle said, sounding worried. "Be careful then, and have Alec call as soon as he wakes up, okay? We're all right here too, by the way, and thanks for asking. Everyone's trying to get ready for the battle—Sebastian's slowly getting all the demons together, as far as we can tell—the mundanes are explaining this whole mess as being some kind of natural disaster, I guess—a freak tornado or something—so at least they're staying off the streets, for now."

"Great, good, see you later then," Magnus said, ending the call. He was just too tired to talk or listen anymore. Chairman Meow padded into the room then, yawning as though he'd slept through the entirety of the demon incursion so far.

"Good, I'm going to need you here for moral support," Magnus said, lifting Alec as carefully as he could and beginning the long, difficult process of walking down the hall and carrying Alec to the bedroom. "You have…such an encouraging attitude."

Chairman Meow yawned again.

At several points during the trek to the end of the hallway, Magnus was tempted to just set Alec down and cover him with a blanket, but he decided that letting Alec sleep on the floor would be a bit much, even if he was still angry with him. Finally, Magnus got him into bed, then found a first aid kit in the bathroom (that was less tiring than summoning one from thin air). He bandaged Alec as best he could, and since his wounds were little more than scabs now, the sloppy job he'd done wouldn't matter—anyway, it wasn't the first time he'd put Alec to bed in such a state. Maybe if you dated a Shadowhunter, hasty first aid just came with the territory.

Belatedly, Magnus realized that he could have just stuck Alec in one of the guest rooms. Cursing, he climbing into bed anyway—he was exhausted, and he wasn't about to sleep anywhere but here, even if that meant waking up next to someone he wasn't sure if he wanted to kiss or throttle.

_Of course, I'm so tired now that I'd probably be just as comfortable on the floor_…Magnus thought wearily, pulling a blanket over himself and Alec, and almost immediately, he was asleep.

Alec's POV

When Alec opened his eyes, his chest was sore, but he was pleasantly warm, and a familiar pair of yellow-green eyes were staring down at him.

"You know, I'm worried. We must both be masochists, because this happens entirely too often."

Alec stared. "What?"

"Waking up in this or a similar bed after being wounded in some battle," Magnus explained. "We're either masochists or just unlucky. Or we're just very, _very_ stupid. I think that's the most likely explanation in both our cases, honestly."

"Oh," Alec said slowly, still not fully awake. "Uh…hi."

"Hi. We need to talk."

Alec blinked. "Um…okay. But what happened?"

"I blew up the wendigo, portalled us back here, healed you, reassured your sister, and then stupidly put you in my bed. And one of your wounds leaked a little, so now I'm never going to be able to get the blood stains out of this mattress."

Alec blinked again. "Aren't there…spells for that?"

"Yes, but it's easier to just make a new mattress materialize than to bother with cleaning one," Magnus said impatiently. "Anyway, Sebastian's demons are gathering, though it's taking a while. We've both been asleep for a few hours, and they're only just now really getting organized. I suppose they were just having too much fun killing and gorging themselves on mundanes to stop."

Alec felt slightly ill—Magnus's tone was flippant, but his expression was grim. "We need to go to the Institute."

"Yes, I just spoke to Isabelle about that," Magnus said, brandishing his phone. "They're expecting us within the hour, but before we go there, I need to say something, that something being that it was _phenomenally_ stupid, throwing yourself at a wendigo like that. What exactly were you trying to accomplish?!"

"I just wanted to protect you!" Alec said defensively. "After—after what I did, I just thought…the least I could do was make sure you'd be okay."

Magnus's eyes narrowed. "Please tell me you're kidding."

Alec was silent for a moment. "You could still get away, you know. You don't have to die here with us, Magnus."

"This is my city too," Magnus said, his voice an angry whisper. "And I hardly see the point of your trying to protect me, Alec. It's a bit late for that, isn't it? The city's full of demons, and in any case, trying to shield me from danger now isn't going to make me forget about what you and Camille chatted about."

"I know!" Alec said quietly, closing his eyes. "I know. I know I can't make up for that. That's why I'm telling you to leave. It was a mistake, being with me. You can go somewhere else, start a new life…meet someone else."

"Really, Alexander," Magnus muttered, and Alec opened his eyes when he heard how uneven Magnus's voice sounded. "Over-protectiveness hardly suits your personality."

Alec shrugged. "Really? We both know how jealous I can get."

"Jealous, and selfish, and thoughtless," Magnus muttered.

"And you'd be better off far away from me," Alec whispered.

Magnus stared at him for a long moment, and then he grabbed Alec by the shoulders, pinning him to the bed, and kissed him hard. Alec was too shocked to even move. When Magnus was finished kissing, he drew back and glared down at Alec.

"This does _not_ mean we are back together," Magnus said furiously. "This means that on the off chance that we survive the battle that's about to start, I will _consider_ trying to find it in my heart to forgive you. But first, be honest: were you hoping for a chance like this, to save my life in a foolish attempt to win me back?"

"Yes," Alec admitted immediately. "I mean, I was hoping for a chance to help you when you really needed it—I didn't factor in the possibility of legions of hungry demons being involved though. And I will die for you, Magnus, if that'll keep you safe today, but if we live, I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. So, thank you, for considering forgiving me."

"At a future date, far, _far_ in the future," Magnus said firmly.

"And have I mentioned how sorry I still am?" Alec whispered.

"Not today," Magnus said with a wry smile. "And for future reference, I think a daily apology will be more than sufficient. If you really want to make it up to me, life saving is a good start, but not if you injure yourself in the process and I have to all but knock myself out to heal you. So, today's efforts aren't going to count toward your total."

"Total?" Alec said blankly. "What, is there a point system here?"

"I'll have to think about that," Magnus said thoughtfully. "Certain activities might be worth more forgiveness points than others…"

Alec smiled for a moment, but then he really looked at Magnus uncertainly. "Do you think…I mean, someday, could you really—"

Magnus stared down at him, his expression somehow both sad and loving. "I'd die for you too, you know. That's why I said we're both stupid, Alec. I couldn't stop loving you, even when I'd decided that I should. I don't know if we'll even be alive this time tomorrow, let alone if, or when, I'll forgive you after that…but I do trust you with my life, however much of it is left now."

Alec swallowed hard. "I don't deserve your trust."

Magnus snorted. "The world would be in a sorrier state than it is if we all gave and got the trust and love we really deserve. You probably trust me more than you should too. But age and experience have taught me that it's usually worth taking a risk to get something you really want."

"Getting _someone_ you want is even harder though," Alec whispered. "There's so many ways to screw up."

"But it's worth trying, if both parties can put forth the proper effort," Magnus said softly. "If both people can learn not to keep too many secrets…and to forgive each other, sometimes against their better judgment…well, who knows? Maybe we'll live long enough to try again."

"Try again…" Alec smiled then. "Magnus, when this is over…will you have dinner with me? And I promise right now not to kiss you until our third date—that's how long you're supposed to wait, right?"

Magnus sighed fondly. "Stupid nephilim." And this time, when Magnus kissed him, Alec kissed him back.


End file.
